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Many of us have witnessed harassment in public places – on the street, on the bus, in a store, cafe, gym. However, in most cases, we do not interfere in what is happening, allowing the aggressor to continue to annoy the victim and thereby untie his hands. How can this sad tradition be changed?
Unambiguous hints, obsessive flirting, whistling, frank remarks about the figure and clothes, gestures and touches that are unpleasant to the other side – all this is nothing more than which we regularly witness.
At the same time, according to international statistics, more than 80% of people do not know how to behave in such situations and whether it is possible to help the victim. A disappointing conclusion suggests itself: most often, others simply do not interfere. And this means that the victim of harassment has to rely only on himself.
We don’t blame anyone. But we urge you to act differently when you find yourself in a similar situation. Let’s analyze the reasons why witnesses of harassment do nothing to prepare for a real encounter with the aggressor.
1. “I was afraid to make things worse”
Fear of aggravating the situation and being drawn into it is a completely normal reaction, especially when the forces are clearly unequal. However, this behavior allows the abuser to think that he can get away with anything, and the victims are always defenseless. And next time he will go even further. For example, he will not confine himself to words and hints, but will try to touch.
Aggressors always cling to those who are considered weaker and more compliant, and do not expect anyone to come to the aid of the victim.
It turns out that we aggravate the situation just by inaction. While any rebuff will put the offender in his place and make him think.
Aggressors always cling to those who are considered weaker and more compliant. And they don’t expect anyone victim. So your participation can easily make a difference!
2. “The rest don’t react either”
And that’s okay too. People are often afraid to go it alone. Draw attention to what is happening and you will see that several people will support you at once.
3. “It’s not my problem – let them sort it out themselves”
When this thought comes to your mind again, remember that you, too, can be in the place of the victim. After all, this can really happen to a person of any gender and age.
4. “Maybe this behavior is normal? Or is that the way it is here?”
Once in the company of new acquaintances or in another country, it is difficult to immediately understand the relationship between people or national characteristics. Yes, and “climbing into someone else’s monastery with your charter” is a little scary.
Most often, they retreat as soon as the intended victim or others begin to show firmness and defend the boundaries.
However, if you have even a shadow of doubt that, for example, your new friend is behaving incorrectly towards a woman, try to talk to the victim in private. Find out the details and support her.
Try to suggest a way out of the situation, rather than just discussing it. And of course, it is unacceptable to justify the offender (“Well, he’s a man!”) And his behavior (“Just looked into the neckline”).
5. “I still can’t change anything”
Many people think so — and that is why harassment in public places remains so common.
At the same time, for the most part, the aggressors are cowardly. Most often, they retreat as soon as the intended victim or those around them begin to show firmness and defend the boundaries.
This rule works not only on the street or in public places, but also in any team – at school, in the family, at work.
6. “I didn’t know what to do”
Lots of options. Choose the one that will help you get out of the situation the safest. To help us all, L’Oréal Paris has created . You can walk on it to learn how to safely resist harassment. Here are five options:
- Take action. Directly address the aggressor. Usually such people do not expect a rebuff.
- Show support. Let the victim know that you have seen everything and offer to help.
- Disorient. Distract the aggressor. For example, ask a guy who hits on a girl how to get to the subway. This will give the victim time to move to a safe distance.
- Delegate. Draw the attention of others to what is happening.
- Document. Record everything on video or photo, if the victim does not mind.
Having decided offender, keep your dignity. Remember that the truth is on your side. Don’t be afraid to bring in other people as witnesses or for support. So far, we live in a society that is extremely tolerant of harassment. There are many reasons for this, but each of us can become a person who can make a difference.