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Communicating in other languages not only helps our careers, but also enriches us spiritually. Why is it so difficult for some, even after many years of study? And how to deal with it?
Many of us, after long periods of studying a foreign language at school, college or courses, find ourselves in a situation where we finally need to speak it — negotiations with foreign partners, a trip abroad … And at this moment we find that we cannot utter a word.
“In such a situation, all the strength, all the energy is spent on experiencing one’s own incompetence,” explains psychologist and author of the training to remove the language barrier, Evgenia Kuznetsova. “Instead of trying to correct the situation, to make another attempt, we get upset, lost and silent.”
Some of the difficulties that arise when communicating in a non-native language are related to the shortcomings of the teaching system, but this reason is not the only one.
Solve internal problems
“Very often childhood traumatic experiences are transferred into adulthood,” says psychotherapist Lucy Mikaelyan. “If a child was scolded for any mistake in the learning process, now that he has grown up, two similar situations are unconsciously superimposed on each other: it is not easy to realize that you are not a teacher in front of you, and you yourself are no longer a child.”
A childishly insecure person in any situation is more willing to notice his shortcomings than his virtues.
He easily agrees with criticism, as he finds in it confirmation of what he thinks about himself. “Before starting to work with the text, I ask each participant of the training to evaluate what part of it they can understand,” says Evgenia Kuznetsova. “And later we find that the result usually exceeds expectations.”
“Situations in which I need to speak English, I perceive as hostile — it seems to me that I am constantly being judged. That is why I strive to avoid them,” says 28-year-old Igor.
A person who underestimates his own strength attaches too much importance to the opinions of other people. That is why a fundamentally different experience of interaction with a native speaker is so important — mutual interest helps to overcome awkwardness and fear.
Setting the right task
By focusing on how to construct a phrase, we lose sight of the pragmatic meaning of communication. It is very important to understand its purpose — otherwise you can go to courses for years, but never start talking. Only by perceiving a foreign language as a path leading to the solution of a certain problem, we begin to express ourselves in it, without thinking about pronunciation and grammar.
open up to the world
Sometimes behind the unwillingness to speak the language is an unconscious rejection of the cultural stereotypes associated with it. After World War II, for example, many could not bring themselves to speak enemy German.
Today, some people also sometimes feel dislike for a particular language. “What anthropologists call ‘cultural curiosity’ will help here: the willingness to understand another country from the inside, while at the same time being dignified of belonging to a different culture,” says Lucy Mikaelyan.
A certain picture of the world is fixed in the language. “The Russian expression “sleeps like a groundhog” is a worn out formula for us, but its German equivalent “sleeps like a stone” sounds poetic,” says linguist Irina Levontina. “Communication in a foreign language allows you to see the familiar in an unexpected perspective and enriches your native speech.”
Expressing ourselves in a non-native language is not an easy task, but its solution is akin to creativity, expanding our understanding of the world and our place in it.
mentally prepare
Change your point of view
Imagine that a foreigner is addressing you. Analyze your emotions: will you experience irritation and anger because his speech is imperfect? Try to remember your feelings and refer to them every time you are going to speak in a foreign language.
Imagine the worst
Try to predict the worst case scenario: what is the worst thing that can happen to you from the inability to express your thought? Replay the situation in your mind so you can better understand your concerns.
Remember the good
A positive experience in speaking a foreign language, no matter how small, will help you gain confidence in yourself. Keep it in your memory — in difficult times, it will support and encourage you.
We would like to thank Galina Kitaigorodskaya, director of the Center for Intensive Foreign Language Teaching at Moscow State University named after M. V. Lomonosov, for her help in preparing the material.