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It is believed that among women the hysterical personality type is much more common. In fact, this is not so – on average, there is one hysterical man for every two hysterical women. Psychotherapist Christophe Andre * about who tantrums are and how best to deal with them.
They are ready to do anything to get attention. They dress provocatively and behave, speak in a special, theatrical tone, puzzle those around them with a sharp change in behavior – from incredible complacency to unbearable coldness. Few people realize that under the spectacular appearance of hysterical personalities, a rather pathetic idea of uXNUMXbuXNUMXbthemselves is often hidden. That is why they are forced to draw confidence in the admiring glance of others.
The emotional mood of these people is constantly changing, and it is difficult to determine whether they behave in this way on purpose in order to interest and surprise even more, or, like children, quickly move from laughter to tears. Moreover, the hysterics themselves are not able to be aware of their own feelings and sensations. It seems to them that they are natural, although in fact they are afraid of not being liked by others.
At the first meeting, hysterical personalities can captivate, charm, but their demonstrative behavior, quick mood swings, constant thirst for attention, excessive emotions after a while bother others, and they leave. Which makes the hysteric put even more effort into charming and seducing, and he behaves even more defiantly and unnaturally.
Distinctive features
- Constantly strives to get the attention of others and suffers if he fails. Actively seeks love and affection from others.
- Moves quickly from one emotion to another; often expresses his feelings in theatrical form.
- Speaks in an affective manner; likes to describe his impressions, omitting specific facts and details.
- Prone to idealization or, conversely, unreasonable criticism of others.
Familiar features?
The need to please, changeable mood, some exaltation… isn’t this a typical feminine quality? For centuries, literature has taught us that women seduce men solely out of coquetry. That they are treacherous, always breaking a comedy, seducing in order to better use male power for their own benefit … The ancient Greeks believed that such purely feminine manifestations were due to the turbulent processes taking place in their body. By the way, the word “hysteria” comes from the Greek husteros – uterus.
However, the term “hysterical personality” disappeared from the classification of the American Psychiatric Association in 1980. It was found that the behavior and personality disorders of those who were called hysterics had nothing to do with the uterus. Identical symptoms occur in men: on average, there is one hysterical man for every two hysterical women. Of course, in some ways they behave differently than women, but they also crave attention and recognition.
In addition, the term “hysterical” has become negative, and in colloquial language the word “hysterical” sounds like an insult. For such people, they chose another term – artistic personality type, which comes from the Latin histrio – actor, comedian. For the reason that almost everyone who was called hysterics has a way of expressing their emotions in a dramatic, theatrical form.
Benefit or harm?
Often artistic personalities consciously or unconsciously choose for themselves such an area of application, where they get a “scene” as a result. So, people of certain professions – actors, lawyers, journalists, politicians – by the nature of their activities should attract attention to themselves, attract the public, play on its feelings. Artistic personalities prefer to live in large cities and are more likely to be found in the flashy advertising business and the media than in metallurgy or agriculture.
Rules of Conduct
What do we have to do
- Be prepared for exaggeration and theatrics. The behavior of a hysteric is not whims, but a norm that entirely corresponds to his character. Therefore, it is pointless to get annoyed and repeat to yourself: when will he stop this circus? This is not a circus, but a manner of behaving, giving yourself more confidence, suppressing too difficult experiences in the bud. Try to recognize that his artistry is as natural as, for example, myopia or baldness. Will you be annoyed by poor eyesight or the baldness of your loved one or friend?
- Give him a stage from time to time, but impose certain restrictions. The more you reject the tantrum, the more he will try to get attention back.
- Be patient, but also set the rules of the game. Show interest whenever he behaves normally. Sometimes, having assured of your attention, the artistic personality for a while passes from theatrical behavior to normal. Don’t miss these precious minutes. Respond by approving that particular course of action.
- Always be prepared to go from being a hero to being a nonentity and vice versa.
What not to do
- Laugh at them. They often seem funny and easily make you want to mock them. This is the case, for example, with a two-year-old child who begins to “show off” when adults pay too much attention to his little sister. Hysterical men are also laughed at because they often seem like frivolous opponents. (Not like the paranoid ones – they are laughed at much less often.) The more you laugh, the more you push him to use all the means available to him that are necessary to attract attention, up to and including hysteria, going into illness, attempting suicide.
- Take seriously their attempts to seduce you – sometimes there is nothing behind them. They are ready to do anything to attract attention, and often try to bring a touch of sexuality into any relationship, even professional ones. In response, you can begin to behave accordingly. At the risk of instantly being rebuffed, accompanied by surprise and even indignation!
- Allow yourself to be moved. The emotionality, fragility and even infantilism of an artistic person can cause a desire to protect her from the whole world around her. But you are just an audience for her. And to the public, which is easy to win, interest quickly passes.
Three warnings
- If this is your boss, try to be yourself, even if he demands the opposite from you.
- If this is your employee, keep a distance that will allow him to idealize you.
- If this is your companion (companion) of life, appreciate the revival and variety that it brings to your existence. In the end, for the sake of this you have connected your life with him.
* L. Francois, A. Christophe “He is a schizophrenic?!.. How to deal with difficult people” (Generation, 2007).