Hypersensitive People: 13 Steps to Understanding

“When I was in kindergarten, a boy in my group threw my favorite book off the balcony,” says 20-year-old Anna. “I remember crying terribly—not because of the book, but because I hated that boy.” The main sign of hypersensitivity is strong emotions that can arise due to the most insignificant reasons.

Some of us are just more acutely aware of everything that happens to them, and this is not necessarily a bad thing. According to psychologist Elaine Eyron, there are about 20% of hypersensitive people (hypersensitives) in society. This means that at least one of your acquaintances, friends or relatives belongs to their number.

What to remember when dealing with hypersensitives?

1. They cry a lot

Hypersensitive people may cry when they are happy, sad, or irritated. This does not mean that they are bad. They just experience everything that happens to them very intensely, and tears help emotional release.

2. They are not necessarily introverted.

Introversion can go hand in hand with hypersensitivity, but this is not always the case. Elaine Ayron found that a third of hypersensitive people are actually extroverts. Often they require even more attention because they find it difficult to regulate their emotional state, they are more dependent on others and may experience a kind of intoxication from impressions.

3. They get nervous when they have to make a decision.

The ability to quickly and confidently make decisions is not the strongest feature of hypersensitivity. Even when it comes to such banal things as choosing a cafe for lunch. The reason is that they are very afraid of making the wrong choice: suddenly the food in the cafe will be too expensive, the music will be too loud, the waiters will ignore them, and their companion will not like it there.

4. They react to the slightest change.

“If you are used to ending messages with a smiley, but this time you put an end to it, be sure: we will definitely mark it,” says Anna. “And we’ll probably start to get nervous.” Hypersensitives tend to be very sensitive to what’s going on in their environment and instantly notice when things aren’t going their way.

5. They are always ready to listen.

If you need a friendly shoulder, feel free to contact them. Hypersensitives can make small talk, but they do best in the role of an attentive listener. You can be sure that they will not interrupt you, will not become distracted and change the subject.

6. They hate noise and loud noises.

A high-speed train, car horns, overly sociable colleagues … All this not only annoys us – we suffer, as if every sound is driven into our heads with a hammer. According to Elaine Ayron, it’s all about the reduced threshold of sensitivity, because of which any stimulus is felt more strongly.

7. Their work habits are quite unusual.

The ideal option is to work at home or in any quiet place. This allows you to focus and keep your nerves in order. “Hypersensitivity people are able to take advantage of their ability to observe,” says Elaine Ayron. “They have a knack for thinking about ideas and then presenting them in a way that will be taken seriously.” Their analytical skills and attentiveness to other people’s comments make them excellent teammates (as long as they are not put in charge of making major decisions).

8. They don’t like to tickle their nerves.

A horror movie or a thriller is not the best choice if you want to invite a hypersensitive person to the cinema. The tendency to empathize, combined with an increased susceptibility to emotionally charged images, can cause shock in them.

9. They don’t take criticism well.

Avoidance of anything that can cause too much excitement is a hallmark of hypersensitivity. As a result, they try to do everything possible so that they themselves do not hurt the feelings of others and not cause their displeasure.

10. They take everything personally.

When communicating with hypersensitives, avoid ridicule. Of course, they themselves can love good jokes and try to relate to life with humor, but even the hint that something may be wrong with them makes them nervous.

11. They are very sensitive to pain.

Pain is also a kind of stimulation. Not surprisingly, hypersensitives perceive it more acutely. Elaine Ayron’s research has confirmed that hypersensitive people have a low pain threshold, and the expectation of pain (for example, in the dentist’s office) can make you feel pain even when no one touches them.

12. They dream about deep relationships.

Hypersensitives find it difficult to make new acquaintances. The stress of uncertainty, the expectation of possible embarrassment, the painful guessing of what the interlocutor is thinking – all this tires them. Hypersensitive people seek to find a reliable, empathetic partner with whom they can relax and who they can completely trust.

13. They can’t change

Hypersensitivity is not a whim or character flaw. The psychologist found that areas of the brain associated with empathy and cognition in hypersensitive people become more aroused when they are shown photographs of a face with traces of strong emotions. In other words, this behavior is biologically programmed.

If there is an oversensitive person in your environment, try to be sensitive to him. Most likely, he himself understands his own characteristics well, therefore he behaves carefully and considerately. But he expects understanding from you too.