“Hurry Slowly”: How Not to Miss Your Life

Time is speeding up

“Hurry” is the choral mantra of our time. Expectant mothers sing: to give birth as soon as possible, to be discharged home as soon as possible. The parental choir picks up: if only he had learned to sit, began to walk on his own, went to kindergarten, graduated from school, entered, took up his mind, got a job, got married. Children’s and teenage voices lead the party: it would be the last lesson, the end of the quarter, holidays, summer. But confidently and powerfully, with heavy sighs and a light swearing on backing vocals, the many-voiced choir of workers sounds: it would be dinner, it would be better to go home. I would like to survive this day (report, meeting, event). Hurry Friday, vacation, retirement.

And now we fly through the calendar with a high-speed express train. They accelerated so that there was a continuous flicker around, it was already impossible to distinguish something. And we no longer notice not only dew drops, autumn colors, tenderness in the soul or sadness in someone’s eyes, but even traffic lights, stations, cities, continents, and, in fact, we miss our lives. We fly to our high goal, but to what?

And suddenly anxiety and doubts creep in: “Why all this?” Well, that is, the words are in response to inertia. But they sound, but do not answer the question. And then fear, confusion, emptiness, disappointment sets in: “Where do I need to go? After all, I’m not in such a hurry to go to the churchyard. ”

Time condenses

Now even schoolchildren know the term “time management”. We manage to do 10 things at the same time. At the same time, we are talking on one phone in parallel, typing a message on another, swallowing coffee, packing things for a business trip, pouring food for the cat and hurrying the child to school with gestures. If we do only two things at the same time, then we seem to ourselves to be slow mattresses and kopush. And you can’t stop, because the whole successful world will immediately rush forward, master, conquer, achieve, and we will never have time, we won’t catch up, we won’t achieve, we will lag behind once and for all.

Time slows down, expands and fills

Festina lente is a Latin proverb that means “hurry slowly”. I first heard this saying from my grandfather, then I ran into him at the medical institute when I was learning Latin. And she couldn’t figure out what that meant. And, probably, I would not have understood further if I had not gone to study as a Gestalt therapist.

From the very first meetings, they teach you to slow down and hear yourself, your feelings, emotions, sensations. Having worked for 20 years in “big farm” at extreme and unlimited speeds, at first I resisted. She boiled, got angry, waited for us to finally get down to business, set SMART goals, write down all the meanings point by point in notebooks and rush to master this same gestalt.

Now behind three years of study. Don’t just think that now I’m such a smart girl who knows Zen. But slowing down, I began to see, hear, notice much more. It was as if I woke up from years of lethargic sleep, fainting or anesthesia. Life began to acquire greater value and taste.

I began to distinguish where my desires are, and where are other people’s patterns and attitudes of society, I discovered in myself something that I did not suspect

I stopped cutting myself for any reason, I felt calm and stable, believed in myself, became interesting to myself, allowed myself to be myself. It’s like a general cleaning, when you are very critical, passionately evaluate each item you find and make a decision whether it is yours or someone else’s, whether you need it or not, keep it or throw it away.

And then the fuss and bustle disappears, the energy of life is no longer wasted on maintaining unnecessary chaos and tension, on searching for answers in the clogged ether of the brain. There is a feeling of freedom, clarity and lightness.

In such an environment of cleanliness and order, it is easier to notice your emotions and feelings, to make decisions. Things that pissed me off begin to be perceived more calmly, there is a desire to live every day and moment of life carefully, consciously, carefully, in unison with true desires and values, with pleasure, joy, with taste. And if I start to accelerate, I repeat to myself: “Festina lente! Hurry slowly!”