He can not be blamed for star disease. He is always extremely correct and delicate. He tops the list of the most desirable men in the world according to People magazine. And at the same time, for 18 years now, he has been an exemplary family man and the father of two adopted children. Meeting with Hugh Jackman, who values honesty and responsibility most of all.
At the beginning of February, we will see him in the new film Les Misérables — in the image of a noble hero, as many consider him, and not only on the screen.
They say he never shows stellar displeasure. He never makes advances to assistants, does not carry a personal stylist with him, does not raise his voice and does not leave a single question addressed to him unanswered. He never lingers after work: he always needs to take the children — either to school, or to a circle, or to training. He always greets first, stops if photographers ask, let his companion go ahead, and has been meditating twice a week for 20 years.
Hugh Jackman walks through the glass door of the restaurant overlooking the East River exactly five minutes before our scheduled breakfast interview time. He smiles at the approaching head waiter, and she, like a snow maiden all in white, melts — from the sincere benevolence of this smile. He does not ask me to change seats to be less noticeable, does not tell the waitress what he does not eat for anything and never, but, looking at the menu, orders an omelette with vegetables. He doesn’t lay out his phone or tablet in front of him — and I didn’t even understand if he had a mobile: for the whole time of the conversation, nothing rang in his pockets …
And it’s strange — he’s a star! He topped the list of the most desirable men in the world according to People magazine. At the same time, he is perhaps the most devoted husband in the world: 18 years of a cloudless marriage. A wonderful father to two adopted children. Perhaps the brightest host of the Oscar ceremony. And in general — a person determined to establish justice on our planet …
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Psychologies: Hugh, I have noticed that everyone who has ever dealt with you speaks of you exclusively in superlatives. In what way do you think about yourself?
Hugh Jackman: Listen… It’s probably more honest to say that I don’t think about myself at all. In the sense that I do not analyze myself, but simply live, as my feelings tell me.
And yet it turns out that these feelings are exceptionally high — feelings of love, justice, duty … Looking from the outside, it’s hard to imagine that you, for example, have ever envied someone!
H.J.: What are you — of course, I was jealous! (Laughs.) And by the way, I continue — to my friend John Travolta. He has… lightness in life, some ease for himself and others. Here he was visiting me in Melbourne, and we had a karaoke party in the bar. I crawled out of my own skin to shamelessly sing «Summer Nights» from Grease. And he sang the part of Danny brilliantly — from his chair, without stopping smoking a cigar and sipping whiskey. I envy this quality of his — to live, as if leaning back in an armchair. Relaxed. Sybaritic. It’s not available to me!
And how do you live?
H.J.: I am constantly … in shape, as if in a fighting stance. No, I do not expect a blow … But I always feel responsible. For what? Yes for everything! For family. For the children. for their roles. For the role that I play in life. For example, I feel that I have made too much money and done too little for others. We all must be responsible for our actions… Well, a little bit for feelings too. I still try not to let bad feelings into myself — they are just unconstructive. And I know for myself such a property — to surrender to the feeling entirely. Consider it a kind of obsession.
The experience of strong experiences came to you quite early: your mother left you with your brothers when you were eight years old …
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H.J.: Yes, my mother then separated from my father and returned to England. She took her sisters with her, and we, three boys, stayed with dad. But you know, the most difficult thing was not even that my mother left, but the feeling that they were looking at you as a victim of a catastrophe — now, his mother left him … However, a few years later, when I was 12, my parents tried to reunite. And until the age of 13, I hoped that they would succeed. And then I realized that this will never happen.
What helped you survive this discovery?
H.J.: Probably honesty. To admit to yourself that your hopes are unrealizable means to be honest with yourself. It is useful to be aware that not everything is in your power. Not everything — but your whole life belongs to you! And it’s stupid to blame someone — dad-mum, their relationships and actions … Blaming someone, you are trailing in the tail of your own life. Refusing to control it. But, as strange as it may sound, it never crossed my mind that my mother did not love me. In the end, I got used to the fact that she comes every six months for three weeks, and then leaves again. All this is life — partings, meetings … I just felt then: my mother got into a difficult story and got out of it as best she could. Now I understand that she was depressed, acted as if some other person made some decisions for her. And indeed: five children, emigration from Britain, all relatives remained there, we had to answer for ourselves, build a new life in a new place … There was no one to support her, her father was always at work, on the road, — after all, she had to feed six mouths. She really needed to cut this knot… the impossibility of living the way she had to live.
Did you talk to her about it afterward?
H.J.: Certainly. She herself invited me to ask any questions — when at the age of 14 I began to regularly visit her and my sisters in London. But I had no special questions for her — I never doubted her.
How did your father raise you?
H.J.: My father is a deeply religious person, I received a religious upbringing. From him I never heard a bad word about anyone — and not a word of resentment against my mother. Every night he prayed for her to return. Thanks to him, it was easier for me to understand the meaning of such human qualities as, for example, humility or spirituality. He is an accountant by profession, he has been an accountant all his life, but he is not a materialist at all.
You and your wife adopted two children and today you yourself are experiencing the experience of fatherhood …
H.J.: Today, Oscar and Ava are probably a big, if not the main part of my life. Being a father is like an exciting journey into the unknown. In the unknown me — children show in us properties completely unknown to us, people unfamiliar to us. Sometimes you will find such Mr. Hyde in yourself! (Laughs.)
How long have you been trying to be a parent…
H.J.: Yes, first on our own, then with the help of doctors — all these calculations of terms, preparation, waiting for results, failure, another failure … When we had to enter the third “round”, I realized that we just need to start the adoption process now. And already together we realized that we want to have children of other nationalities, even races. The psychologist who worked with us then said: “Guys, this is not the case when you need to demonstrate political correctness.” But we had a feeling that it was time for us to share the good things that we have in our lives, that we need to make someone else happy. And better — those who have less chances without us. So we got Oscar, an African-American-white-Hawaiian-Cherokee, and Ava, a half-German, half-Mexican with Native American roots.
Perhaps you are very responsible about their upbringing?
H.J.: Well, it’s not that I’m worried day and night because of this … Here on the set of Les Misérables, I watched Helena Bonham Carter bring her children with her because she was worried that she was leaving them, raising them not like that. But somehow her mother, a psychotherapist, came for the children, a general parental conversation ensued, and she so calmly, confidently said: “Guys, relax. You feed them, love them, and that’s enough. Who needs perpetually stressed parents? And she talked about the concept of “a good enough mother.” This is a sincerely loving parent who does not torture himself with the desire to become a parent in his understanding of the ideal. I would just like to be such a “good enough mother”. I think it’s pointless to be tough, but it’s necessary to be tough. And if possible, give your child self-confidence.
And how do you manage to do it?
H.J.: I am doing my best. When I was filming Real Steel, my partner was a boy a year older than Oscar. According to the plot, my hero had difficulty restoring relations with his son, but my own son — holidays, summer — was with me on the set. And at some point I noticed: he seems to be jealous of me. To this boy, my partner, our partnership. I had to take measures to somehow tell my son that I was with him, always with him. I don’t know of any other way to increase a person’s self-esteem other than this: to bring to his attention that he is an unconditional value for you. If there is such a feeling — that’s it, I can send grown children to life, giving them a thousand dollars and assuring them that they will be able to contact me in emergency circumstances. True, I suspect that at the same time my wife in the hallway will stick them with credit cards with an unlimited limit, whispering: “Only not a word to my father!”
Does your wife have an opinion on this?
H.J.: Debbie I trust boundlessly! She is a unique case. After our meeting on the set and after five dates, I was convinced: yes, this is her. I want to spend my life with her.
And have you ever been embarrassed that she is 13 years older than you?
H.J.: And Debbie, on the contrary, always tells me that I’m the «old nose» and grumbler! And it’s true — Debbie is actually much younger than me. She tends to… you know that French expression, joie de vivre? Feeling the joy of life. For her, everything is fresh, everything is for the first time, everything is unusual and exciting. She, for example, says that I am a kind of universal conciliator, and she would like me to be a romantic scoundrel! I feel like I’m older than her. And it always seems to me that she needs to be protected.
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Seems or really?
H.J.: Well, I’m glorified to the point of impossibility. (He smiles sadly.) Of course, I’m not complaining — you have to pay for the unconditional pluses of fame with possible minuses. But, you know, you still feel uncomfortable when you are declared gay and your wife is called to testify on this issue. And I can quite regard these rumors as a compliment — after all, they appeared after my role in a stage musical when I played a gay producer — and therefore, I was very, very convincing! But anyway. And most importantly, while I could not refute these rumors! After all, to answer the question of whether you are gay — “No, you are!” — well, it’s just low! From this answer it follows that there is something to be ashamed of. And there is nothing to be ashamed of! But there is something to protect your loved ones from.
And how do children feel about your fame?
H.J.: Ava is seven, and she has just begun to master this topic. And Oscar… He was six when I proudly announced that I would host the Oscar ceremony. And he remarked so detachedly: “Everything is logical: Oscar’s father leads the Oscar!” In fact, he is an ironic, reasonable and practical person. Today he is 13, he has objects of adoration, and he told one such lucky woman that his father is Wolverine. And then he proudly told me how her beautiful eyes «well, literally squared up.»
And you probably told him that it’s better to brag about your own achievements?
H.J.: No, I said, «Well done! A little more, and you will understand: with women, even this does not help.