How, when and why to slow down

The Science of Happiness

Coaches teach how to get out of the comfort zone, and psychotherapists heal the emotional wounds received as a result of moving up the social ladder.

Is it worth it to refuse to be realized in society in order to preserve mental well-being? Of course not! The truth, as always, is in the golden mean. In maintaining a balance between active actions aimed at winning, and a feeling of happiness, which, in my opinion, is peace, tranquility and warmth.

As it turned out, there are institutions in the world that study happiness, and even the Ministry of Happiness in Bhutan, which equates this very happiness with the gross national product.

In 1999, the «World Institute of Procrastination» was created. Geir Bertelsen, its founder, believes that the fastest way to happiness is to slow down, not to live as if you are afraid of being late for your own funeral. It is important to switch from fuss to contemplation. A natural question arises, where to find time for contemplation and slowness. 

The fastest way to happiness

Freedom from unnecessary

According to the Institute’s staff, it’s worth starting to slow down with the release of everything unnecessary: ​​things, sports, social networks, TV shows, communication with unnecessary, toxic people, mental “garbage” that we carry in our heads and souls. Turn off the “concrete mixer” of resentment, unexpressed anger, unfulfilled hopes, expectations. Turn off the sources of information noise that prevents you from seeing the beautiful here and now. 

slow life

The first habit of happiness is to live slowly. Try to be present in your life even for a moment. Stop running, find your rhythm to enjoy every minute of life.

The key to a slow life is decluttering the outer and inner space. Throw out of your head and life what brings you nothing but discomfort, increases anxiety and aggressiveness.

The ability to contemplate

The second habit of happiness is contemplation. It seems that the Danes know more about this habit than anyone else, because Denmark leads the list of the most prosperous countries in the world. 

Many are familiar with the Danish hygge, according to which happiness is associated with home comfort, security and care for loved ones. Hygge is the ability to appreciate the ordinary pleasures of life and enjoy the moment.

It can be a cup of tea with oregano, like mom’s, cabbage pies like grandma’s, the smell of the wooden walls of the dacha heated by the midday sun, the smell of pastries spreading throughout the house.

These can be certain sounds — the sound of rain outside the window, apples falling into the autumn foliage, the creak of floorboards, the rustle of tires on a night track, the crackle of firewood. These can be visual images — a drop of dew on a flower, a drop of rain on a silver web, a rainbow. Of course, delicious food. Champagne oysters are great. But fried potatoes are more familiar, more familiar, more comfortable.

Nice talking

An important part of hygge is communication. As Antoine de Saint-Exupery wrote: “The only real luxury is the luxury of human communication.” 

I note with regret the washing out of everyday life of heart-to-heart conversations, eye to eye. While in a number of European countries lunches and dinners with friends are an important component of a happy life.

The Danes widely practice joint cooking. For example, you can organize a cooking club. Choose a recipe in advance, agree on who will bring what, and then get together and start cooking happiness with your own hands, mixing the pleasure of communication and food.

Seclusion and flanking

Another equally important habit of happiness is solitude. Many are afraid to be left not alone as such, but alone with themselves. The habit of happiness that we can get in solitude can be helped by flanking. Flanking in French means «to be intentionally aimless.» It’s a walk for the sake of a walk.

During such walks, which have no other purpose than observing one’s feelings received as a result of contemplating the world around, anxiety, vanity go away, contemplation comes.

In the process of contemplating, for example, beautiful things displayed in a shop window, an orange maple leaf in an autumn puddle, our thought processes do not stop, but plunge into unconscious levels, giving way to fresh impressions. Therefore, when you return home, you may be pleasantly surprised that the problem that you have been agonizing over lately has suddenly solved itself. During the walk, the unconscious found the missing puzzle, and everything fell into place. It turned out that you not only breathed fresh air, found a solution to the problem, but at the same time threw out mental garbage in the form of obsessive thoughts.

The purpose of flanking is not only a walk as such, but also the launch of contemplation of the outside world with the opportunity to influence the course of your thoughts and feelings.

Thanks

Another important habit of happiness is gratitude to the world, to God for wonderful moments.

In moments of despair, overwhelming anxiety, grief, loss, it is very important to find a lifeline in the form of gratitude. Let it be at first glance something insignificant in your life, maybe from the distant past, from childhood. Try to cling to it, like a saving straw, and then, day after day, cultivate a feeling of gratitude in yourself, which over time will fill your soul with peace and tranquility. 

Peace and tranquility, acceptance of life in all its contradictions and losses, perhaps, is the very happiness that we are looking for in things, in others. But in fact, it is always in us.