How We Only Survived: 14 Rules for Raising Our Parents

Carry children in the car unfastened

According to data officially published by the World Health Organization, the use of a child seat in a car can reduce deaths among infants in accidents by 70 percent and by 54 percent among toddlers aged one to four years. It is difficult to doubt the reliability of modern car seats, as evidenced by the results of crash tests conducted by various associations, research institutes and well-known auto clubs. But over the years, children were transported in a car with little or no safety precautions. For example, in the United States, parents were only required to use special child seats in 4.

Smoking next to the baby

Until now, a huge number of parents smoke in the immediate vicinity of the child, for which they are criticized and scolded. But only half a century ago, parents did not see anything terrible in smoking while sitting at the same table with their child, often indoors. As they say, without batting an eye. According to surveys, only 40 percent of adults were aware of the relationship between smoking and cancer. Back in 1966, Williams’ medical textbook Obstetrics suggested that pregnant women could safely smoke up to 10 cigarettes a day.

Bite the child back to show that this should not be done

Most parents used similar parenting methods only a few decades ago. “My grandmother and many older people still believe that the best way to stop misbehavior is to respond in kind to the child, making sure to feel pain,” says Ann Kaplan, parent trainer. – In my opinion, this is nothing more than child abuse … First of all, it is not pedagogical. Plus, it doesn’t work! “

By the way, you can read what modern psychologists think about this HERE.

Allow children to use public transport on their own

A few decades ago, you would not have been surprised to see a child of about seven years old on a bus or subway. However, these days, many parents are frightened by the mere thought of sending a preschooler or first grader alone on a trip around the city. They won’t be allowed to the store and school, even if they are in the yard.

Allowing children to cook alone

The 1957 Betty Crocker Cookbook for Boys and Girls states that every young chef should “be good at cooking at least a few dishes.” Children were offered hamburger and biscuit recipes. “This way you can be sure that you can cook lunch or dinner for your mother when she is very busy,” says the manual. In our Soviet childhood, too, every conscious child aged six could already boil pasta or make scrambled eggs. And if now a child of this age comes up to the stove, mom will go crazy with horror.

Allow babies to scream for long periods

Today, the idea of ​​letting babies cry endlessly would horrify most moms and dads. However, at the beginning of the twentieth century, this was not considered as cruelty to a newborn. Moreover, according to physicians William and Lena Sadler, their 1916 article “A Mother and Her Child” states that “crying is absolutely essential for the development of good, strong lungs. To do this, the child must scream vigorously several times a day. ” In Russia, this method has also been practiced for a long time. Even now, such advice can be heard from grandmothers.

Putting the baby to sleep on the stomach

Young mothers have probably turned gray now, as soon as they read this phrase. But tummy sleep has been the norm for decades. Fortunately, this norm has long been abandoned. Since 1994, when doctors began to urge parents to put their babies to sleep on their backs, the number of sudden deaths of babies has decreased by half.

Putting your baby to sleep wherever you need to

Today’s recommendations for infant sleep are pretty clear: babies should sleep alone, lying on their backs, in a crib with a flat mattress and without any pillows or blankets, canopies, toys, or other junk. In 1916, however, the concept of safe sleep was very different: “The most ideal bed can be made from a laundry basket. A mattress and a pillow are required, so the child will be raised and can breathe in good fresh air, ”wrote the Sadlers. However, it is now believed that the ideal crib for a baby is a box. Plain cardboard box. Details – HERE.

Letting Children Walk Anywhere

50, and even 30 years ago, parents regularly practiced what today would be considered absolute negligence. At the same time, without worrying about the visit of the guardianship authorities. Parents were not afraid that their child would be offended or abducted. Today, seeing a child alone on the street, the person is likely to immediately call the police.

Leaving the children at home alone

Do you have an evening out? Just a few decades ago, instead of hiring a nanny for the duration of their absence, parents often simply left their children at home. It is now illegal in some countries to leave a child under 12 at home alone. Seriously, there are such norms. So the parents of the character Macaulay Culkin from the movie “Home Alone” would most likely have been jailed.

Send children to sleep without supper

Previously, one could often hear from parents such a phrase: “If you do not do this, you will go to bed hungry!” However, modern parents would be shocked by this approach. And besides, he would rather only create problems than have any educational effect. “In no case should a child be deprived of food as a punishment. Every child has different physiological characteristics, for example, some may suffer from eating disorders, ”says John Degarmo, Ph.D., founder of the Institute for Foster Care.

Allow children to ride carousels in the park

Parks and playgrounds have always been full of all kinds of play equipment that intimidates the average parent today. And it is not surprising, because iron structures, coupled with irrepressible childish energy, can really carry great risks. For many years in Russia, a huge number of children’s play elements and complexes were made and assembled without taking into account safety standards and requirements. Only since 2012, the certification of playgrounds and the provision of visual information on specially installed boards has become a mandatory requirement.

Use corporal punishment

Even those parents who never raised a hand to their child in the past always frightened him with a belt. However, the mere sight of this instrument of punishment was often enough to achieve obedience. Now psychologists unanimously condemn this way of education. And in many countries, physical punishment is prohibited by law.

Avoid being overly affectionate towards the child

Hugs and lisps are natural and enjoyable, but in the past some parents and healthcare professionals would have reprimanded you for this. For example, in James B. Watson’s 1928 book Psychological Caring for Infants and Children, the author writes: “Never hug or kiss children, never let them sit on your lap.” Instead, he invites parents to shake hands with their children in the morning.