There are few people who BELIEVE that you can change yourself. Even fewer people are READY to change themselves. And how many people are CAPABLE of changing themselves on their own?
Ian Deutschman’s article «Change or Die» (Fast Company magazine) described a study of patients who needed to change their habits in order to survive. Alas, only 10% of them were able to do this, the remaining 90% of them, after 12 months, returned to old habits that almost guaranteed a fatal outcome. Even in the face of a deadly threat, the vast majority of people cannot resist their old habits and make the right choice.
Notice that in that experiment we were talking about people with the ultimate motivation to change: they needed to save their lives. It seems that in calmer conditions, people change their habits even more lazily.
However, another group of patients showed different results in this study: in this group, 80% of the participants changed their habits. What made this group different? Only that they did not act alone, they had a support group. The patients who participated in the group met regularly, interacted and discussed their progress, difficulties and trials. Total: with a support group, the results were 7 times better.
It seems that there are literally a few “selfmade” people who have made themselves on their own and alone. But why work alone? If you work with a group of like-minded people, your chances will increase at least 7 times. If you practice not just in a group, but under the guidance of a master, your performance will double.
Your choice?
Now about all this in more detail.
Look for like-minded people. If you find out who and where is doing what interests you in the field of self-improvement, be sure to come and get to know these people. Pay more attention to the atmosphere, to the relationship between people: usually it is the warm and attentive relationship between people that is the key to the fact that you will like it here and you will start working with the result.
Enlist the support of friends. It is very important that your friends support you. If not, you need to figure it out: either you are going the wrong way and not there, or you are not very on the way with these friends. Maybe your new friends will soon be those who, together with you, want to make themselves new.
Quality training — great support. How and where to learn to work effectively on yourself? Psychological trainings will help in this best of all, the only condition is that it should be high-quality psychological training. Unfortunately, this is not always easy, today there are more base “psychological” trainings than worthy trainings that can help you. How to get a quality training, see here
Find your coach. Most often, the most important thing is to find YOUR mentor and coach: the one whose thoughts and whose style suits you the most, whom you want to be like and equal. The master will help you more accurately determine the direction, suggest effective techniques and methods, give high-quality feedback, help you not to forget your wonderful intentions, and create the necessary motivation.
Consider coaching. If you can afford it, we recommend finding your own coach. A coach is a psychologist involved in accompanying healthy and successful people. Unlike psychotherapists, a coach will not treat you, and unlike a consultant psychologist, a coach does not deal with one-time psychological consultations, but as a personal escort supports you on your development path. The coach, if he will teach you, will be to a small extent: the coach rather helps you figure out what you want and helps you achieve your goals in the best way for you.
Get on the Distance! If you are interested in the most effective work on yourself, then today it is Distance — a coaching system for step-by-step personality development. The distance is your independent work on yourself, alternating with meetings in a group under the guidance of a leader. Distance is the most popular self-development system in Russia, developed by N.I. Kozlov. This is the development of communication skills, leadership, self-organization, building relationships in the family, the opportunity to improve your health, teach yourself to go to bed on time, wean yourself from complaints, excuses and self-blame, teach yourself to hear, understand and feel people professionally. All this can be yours.
Today, you can work on the Distance, including online, via the Internet, from any city and from any country in the world.