Under the bright wrapper of the New Year holidays, stress can be hidden. After all, the New Year is a turning point, a time of fuss, queues and grading yourself for successes and failures. How to reduce unpleasant emotions to a minimum, and get maximum joy from the holiday?
We perceive the New Year as a holiday, a time of miracles and gifts, the beginning of a new stage of life. But at the same time, it is also a time of summing up, a moment of rethinking the path traveled. The approach of the X-hour makes us think about what we did this year and how right we did it. We are not always satisfied with how we spent the last 12 months.
To give an adequate assessment of the past year is also hindered by the growing fuss every day, the need to do everything in time. The holiday ceases to be just a holiday and turns into a source of stress. Why is this happening and how to get out of this race as a winner?
Abandon the ideal
“As you meet the New Year, so you will spend it”, “the table should be full”, “… everything will always happen on New Year’s Eve, everything always comes true”. These and many other truths about the “main holiday”, familiar from childhood, seem to oblige us all to spend it properly: on New Year’s Eve, everything should be perfect.
But there is a danger in this perfectionist attitude: the holiday is guaranteed to end, but there are no guarantees for a miracle.
When we worry about things that will happen in the future, we miss out on the joy of the present.
It is the overestimated expectations that Sonya Lubomirsky, professor of psychology at the University of California at Riverside (USA), considers the main problem of the winter holiday marathon. Faced with reality, they inevitably lead to disappointment. People tend to concentrate on the holiday as the highest goal and sacrifice the joys of the present moment and nerves for it.
Indeed, we are ready to spend many hours in traffic jams on the way to the shopping center, maneuvering between crowds of buyers, standing in line at the box office … To save our nerves and health, the well-known destroyer of myths about happiness advises us to give up the pursuit of the perfect holiday and too thorough preparation. If you “let go” of the situation, there will be a chance for the best New Year’s gift – a surprise, and therefore a miracle.
enjoy the moment
It is better to spend your energy and free time on enjoying the current moment. Neuroscientist Matthew Lieberman advises to pay less attention to the pursuit of material gifts, and more to impressions and communication. Walk, explore the New Year’s Eve city, get out with the children for a walk in the winter park, and not in the shopping center. Even if you have absolutely no free time due to work, you can try to take a different look at the daily route to the house.
“Concentrate on the physical sensations. Try to be attentive. Think about what is happening to you here and now, stop planning a future holiday. When we worry about things that will happen in the future, we miss out on the joy of the present,” says psychologist Alexis Conanson.
The same opinion is shared by specialist in recovery after major operations and injuries Diane Roberts Stoler. During the period of New Year’s fever, one should not forget about rest in the hope of sleeping off later, when the long weekend comes.
Of course, shopping centers are open until late at night, but there are still only 24 hours in a day. And if you choose between sleep and shopping, then the choice is better to make in favor of sleep. After all, sleep is the key to a good mood.
Don’t blame yourself
The upcoming holiday is a turning point, comparable in importance to a birthday. Some keep records of victories and accomplishments, while others focus on failures and unfulfilled dreams: “All the people around me are in relationships. Why don’t I have them yet?”, “Why can’t I leave the job I hate?” etc.
The awakened inner critic makes us feel worse because it undermines our faith in ourselves.
If you are not in the mood, if you don’t want to celebrate the holiday “properly”, you don’t need to break yourself for the sake of a social norm
“Thinking like this encourages loneliness, encourages reasoning that we are not good enough. They force us to distance ourselves from those who really care about us, ”says psychologist Lisa Firestone.
Such reflections must be nipped in the bud, and the advice of the inner critic should be ignored – because they are destructive, unconstructive and will not help to correct the situation. Even if there is a problem, the desire to withdraw and withdraw dictated by such an inner critic will not help to overcome it.
A holiday is not a reason to force yourself to have fun. If you are not in the mood, if you don’t want to celebrate the holiday “properly”, you don’t need to break yourself for the sake of a social norm. But at the same time, you need to protect yourself from the negative impact of the approaching turning point.
A holiday is a good mood, friends, an occasion to meet and chat. If we respect and appreciate the current moment of life and our loved ones, we can create such a holiday for ourselves every day.