What to do if in a child (adopted), one after another, the inclinations that everyone was afraid of appeared – lies, theft, a passion for alcohol? Is it possible to fight if your genetics and your environment are against you? The unexpected decision of the psychologist Ekaterina Murashova.
“Pashka, I have nothing to tell you,” I admitted sadly and honestly when the office door closed behind his foster mother.
– How, absolutely?! the guy was surprised.
– Absolutely, alas. There is nothing in my head that you have not heard a hundred times already. If it didn’t work then, it doesn’t work now. Well, we’ll talk now, of course, so that time passes and mom thinks that I’m raising you. I’ll tell you some stories about the circus, or the zoo, or the expeditions, you love about animals …
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“I don’t want about animals!” the boy shook his bangs obstinately.
– OK. What do you want about?
– About me.
“Well, let’s talk about you,” I sighed. “Just what can I say about you?” You, as I understand it, have already folded, dealt this game.
– In what sense – passed?
– Well, you know, there is such a theory that people are born many times, the soul reincarnates …
“I know,” Pasha nodded. – I read.
– Well, it turns out that you have already written off this reincarnation. Now you will live like most of your relatives, drinking, smoking, stealing, injecting, by thirty you will definitely die or be killed, well, maybe in the next reincarnation you will decide somehow differently, there must be development …
“And why did you decide that I already… this… wrote off?”
– Well … purely on the facts … – I shrugged. – Why else? I can’t get into your head, and it’s not necessary, it’s important what a person really does, and not what he is going to or assumes there …
Pashka thought. I didn’t rush him. Lyudmila sits in the corridor and hopes for a miracle, let her stay in this state for a little while, it gives strength.
– Why does it come out like that? he finally asked.
“Nothing,” I sighed. I tell you, life is like playing cards. Are you good at cards?
– And then! Pasha chuckled.
– Well, here it is. The card may initially, on the distribution, lie down in different ways. At first, you got very weak cards in this game: family, and genetics – well, it would be worse, but look where. Then you suddenly, also for no reason, got a lucky card: you were taken into a family by good decent people, and your brothers and sisters ended up in an orphanage. And so you sat down at the table with your cards: bet – will you break into a normal life or not? There are many players at the table. Your genetics are playing against you, the first four years of your life, the fact that everyone allowed you and regretted it later, your laziness, inability to concentrate, work … what, who else?
– Teachers … they need to get rid of me as soon as possible … Friends? ..
– Probably, yes … I have a bad idea of your current friends, but … And so … something here, of course, depends on the skill of the player. Sometimes you can win with bad cards. Especially if no one expects this from you anymore, they don’t take you into account … But, you yourself understand, it’s much easier to just give up …
– And if I don’t give up and play with bad cards against everyone, then what is it? Pashka asked softly and angrily. His nostrils flared wildly.
“Well, this, consider, everything is the opposite of the current one,” I said after thinking. – You get kicked out of school for deuces, and you get all fives to spite them and stay. You are offered to smoke and drink, and you go to sports or do homework. The world initially wrote you off as a genetic marriage, and you will not only get out yourself, but even then you will find the younger ones and help them …
“I’m really sick,” said Pashka. – To be honest, I have a head, pressure … and my legs often hurt … This is also against it.
– Noodles – in a saucepan! I snapped. – The coolest president of the cool USA has traveled in a wheelchair since childhood. True, he had good family cards. But you are still walking…
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Six months later
– He asked me to tell you that he won! Lyudmila said smiling happily. “Imagine: he sat over his textbooks like a damn and finished the trimester with one C. All the teachers, and we too, are in shock! But now he will definitely pass the exams for the ninth grade! He can enter a college, a technical school, even stay in the tenth grade if he wants to!
“Tell him that there will be many more parties,” I sighed. “And the win is still very, very far away. But he now has the experience of his own success, and this is very valuable …
– It seems he understands … He asked me to ask: how to find out when the end of the game?
I thought for a long time.
– When he looks around and suddenly sees only a city, a forest, the sea, friends, birds, books around him … happiness, misfortune … and does not see a card table with opponents ready to play. Then. And before that, you need to sit down, play and try to win in any case.
Read more in the book by E. Murashova “We all come from childhood” (Samokat, 2015).