Is it so difficult for men to put dirty socks in the laundry basket? This question arises for all married women. In nature, there are simply no husbands who can create comfort and perfect order. Before the registry office, they can be neat, even pedantic. Magic: as soon as Mendelssohn’s waltz sounds, the diligent bachelor, together with the stamp in his passport, turns into a pig-husband. Of course, sometimes she does without transformations, and the girl initially chooses a slut as her life companion. Is there a chance to teach your spouse to be clean, or at least force you not to throw your personal belongings around? Psychologist Marina Fedyushina offers a certain classification of all husbands.
“A woman or a man” is the first impression from the meanest and most pitiful hero of Dead Souls. Plyushkin managed to turn the once prosperous estate into a graveyard of unnecessary things. Unfortunately, there are many such heroes in real life. “I was born a Scorpio and I love order very much,” says the realtor Marina Serikova. – Everything in the house is always laid out on shelves and boxes. Nothing extra. I put everything unnecessary without regret in the trash. My husband is Cancer. His motto is all to the house. For 10 years of our married life, the apartment has become like a dump. Bricks accumulated on the balcony, which were planned in the distant future to go to the construction of a garage. Cabinets and bedside tables contained a myriad of parts from equipment that went out of order 30 years ago. As a child, my husband attended a radio circle, but the hobby did not outgrow. I remember once with my daughter I left for ten days on a trip to Sochi. After returning from the resort, we were in for a surprise. Entering the apartment, I didn’t even immediately understand where I was. My little paradise was unrecognizable. The husband “frolicked”: on the new green carpet lay a giant detail from the car, vases in the sideboard served as containers for screws and bolts, nuts and nails were laid out in a row on the sofa. Spent the weekend to free the apartment from the iron monsters. No amount of talk and scandals helped. The result is a divorce and division of property. Either a pig-husband or proud loneliness. “
Output: buying a garage.
“It is difficult to fix Plyushkin,” says Marina Fedyushina. – This behavior is a way of life. Man loves disorder. Nothing can be done about it. In this case, the husband needs a space where he could create a mess. The ideal place is a garage. Wives are usually not allowed here, so you can shift details as much as you want without hysterics. “
Remember the cartoon “Defeat”, where Seryozha came, “with whom they played a little.” After the departure of such a bosom friend, general cleaning is provided for mom. Two weekends are not enough here. With my wife, this number does not work. “We got married when I was 20 and he was 24,” says Yulia Volkova, a marketer. – It was love at first sight. A whirlwind romance ended with a marriage proposal and a honeymoon trip, where everything is included. The tale did not last long. And what my mother warned about began: you wake up in the morning from a loud knock on the front door. You think to yourself that your spouse could get ready for work more quietly. I have to get up. You put on a robe and slippers-bunnies and go to cook breakfast. Ahead – lectures at the university. You enter the kitchen and are stunned: on the new panel, escaped and burnt coffee, on your favorite napkin embroidered in labor lessons, oil stains, greasy stains on the glass surface of the table and all around crumbs, crumbs, crumbs. At this moment, you forget that your husband is the best in the world. He’s a pig. Call your mom, share your grief. Instead of words of consolation, you hear in response that, it turns out, she is to blame for everything. It was necessary to get up at dawn, cook breakfast with love, kiss goodbye … You are angry not only at your piggy husband, but also at your mother. A friend with “rich life experience” comes to the rescue. She knows how to reeducate men. The best way is revenge. He polluted the kitchen – you will leave him without football. In the evening you will watch your series. Another option: you already imagine how in paints you will tell mutual friends about what kind of quitter you got. Can’t take away the dishes after himself! In the evening, instead of a prepared dinner, hubby will have a speech prepared with a friend. The tired spouse shrugs his shoulders and goes to sleep in the hall, you are left alone in a double bed and cry into the pillow. Are the crumbs and burnt coffee worth the gap? “
Output: family contract.
“Men can remain children up to 50 years old, who forget to make their beds and can sit for the whole day at computer games,” reflects Marina Fedyushina. – It’s hard for them to grow up. In complete families, a standard picture develops: mom is preparing dinner, dad is fixing a bicycle. The parenting behavior that is established in childhood cannot be changed. Most likely, in this story, the girl grew up without a father, her mother tried to replace both parents. More emphasis was placed not on the ability to cook borscht, but on independence and independence. The boy, on the other hand, saw his mother-mistress and father-breadwinner. In this situation, a deal between the spouses is needed to preserve the marriage. You just need to share responsibilities around the house. Living together is a guarantee of family happiness. Let’s say you are making breakfast and your husband is buying groceries. I advise you to hang a notepad on the refrigerator where you will indicate a list of what ended. Cleaning an apartment can also turn into a unique quest if you do everything together. But reproaches and scandals will not help in re-education. You didn’t fall in love with this person because he puts everything on the shelves or knows how to cook breakfast. In fact, the crumbs on the table can be removed in a second, and a speech prepared with a friend, along with reproaches, will not be forgotten so soon. “
The fact that men take care of themselves much less than women is considered the norm. Moreover, many are proud of their rather poor wardrobe (jeans for all occasions, tracksuit and wedding suit), work calluses on their hands and beer bellies. They look with condemnation at those representatives of the stronger sex who visit beauty salons (especially caustic remarks fly to the unfortunate male manicure), spin in front of the mirror, participate in photo shoots, etc. Of course, such a savage, as befits a real male, should scatter wherever things are. One answer is always ready to all the requests of his wife to help with the housework: this is not a man’s business. In his youth, such an uncouth savage can be really sexy, and a slight unshaven can even give charm. In adulthood, the alpha male turns into a pig, which causes only irritation and disgust. “We studied in the same class with my future husband,” recalls accountant Elena Serova. – Immediately after school, he entered a military school, and I went to the Faculty of Economics. As a student, I was proud of such an enviable groom. He was very much in a military uniform. After graduating from universities, we played a wedding, and then my husband was invited to serve in Sevastopol. In the 90s, all Russian officers were sent to “civilian life”. The husband was then in the rank of captain. On the other hand, my career took off. From morning to evening, I disappeared at work to feed the children. All this time, the husband was sitting in front of the TV or leafing through the album with the army service. At the same time, he ate everything that was in the refrigerator, and in some 8 hours turned the apartment into a barn. Dirty socks were scattered everywhere (imagine, he was even proud of the ability to make a mess, he said that men “mark the territory”: you have to come up with such a thing), unnecessary rubbish appeared on the shelves with books in the form of pills, nuts, mugs, etc. the starched curtains became greasy, and there were wires all over the apartment. I didn’t want to go home at all. Especially annoying was the TV, which worked around the clock. At first she silently cleaned, then waved her hand. The gallant military man in a dirty T-shirt and sweatpants stretched out on his knees became a stranger. Divorce is not enough courage. “
Output: wedge wedge.
“You need to be rude with a savage,” says Marina Fedyushina. – A good shake-up will definitely not hurt a gallant military man. Show who he has become. Let him see himself through someone else’s eyes. One family, where the head was a pig, was saved by a 5-year-old daughter. The girl honestly admitted: “Dad, let only my mother come to the kindergarten for me. You are homeless. I’m ashamed with you. ” Let the person, whom your spouse trusts, have a heart-to-heart talk and lay out the truth-womb. Play brownie with your spouse. Children are sometimes frightened that if the toys are not removed, they will be offended and run away from home. Everything is the same here: scattered things are often lost (remember at least Korney Chukovsky with the instructive poem “Moidodyr”). Anyone won’t like spending a couple of hours looking for a pair of socks. There is only one way out: initially put everything in place. Pets can do a great job with the scattered wires. Get a cat or dog. The pet will quickly teach you to hide everything. By the way, four-legged friends love to dig in dirty laundry. Do not give up. Pamper yourself! Visit beauty salons, buy beautiful clothes. “Whom you lead with” is trite, but true. Let the pig turn into a gallant prince, not the other way around. “