How to wean a child from sleeping with mom: real advice from moms

When he is very small

Falling asleep in the same bed with the baby is very convenient for a newly-made mother: it is easier to breastfeed, for example, it is easier to sleep by herself, mechanically, half asleep, continuing to stroke the child’s back or head. For a baby to be so close to mom is natural, because for 9 months he listened to mom’s breathing, heartbeat, her soothing voice. And it is quite normal that the baby needs these sounds and sensations familiar to him.

We will not now remember the horror stories about when the mother crushed the child in a dream, these are exceptional cases. As a rule, the sleep of parents in the first months after the appearance of the baby is very sensitive. But the rule changes if the mother took sleeping pills or alcohol before going to bed, dulling sensitivity.

Many psychologists are categorical in their judgments – it is necessary to teach the child to fall asleep in his crib as early as possible, otherwise you will regret it! Just like that. They threaten that, each time clinging to the mother, the child will not learn to cope with the difficulties that have arisen. However, there is no need to uproot, everything happens gradually. The best way out is to put the crib close to the adult and remove the side. So the baby seems to be with his mother next to him, and at the same time on his territory. The crib should be gradually pushed further and further, while monitoring the baby’s reaction. It is assumed that one day the day will come when the constant presence of the mother is no longer required. It will be enough to kiss the baby’s head before going to bed and, possibly, sing a lullaby.

When he gets older

By the age of 3, as a rule, the child has a need for independence, sometimes this period occurs earlier. And it’s just great if one of the baby’s own decisions is to sleep separately from their parents. Don’t be discouraged! Better buy him a bed, even if he chooses it in the store himself, sew new bedding. At home, you can play a ceremonial relocation to a new “adult” bed: hang on the wall next to pictures or posters depicting your favorite cartoon characters, arrange a mini-party.

If the child is afraid of the dark, a night light, either normal or projecting images on a wall or ceiling, will be a good helper. And the drawn curtains will create additional comfort and a feeling of protection from what is happening outside the window. If fear is caused by “monsters living under the bed”, then a “magical” ritual will help, which is guaranteed to drive away all monsters: a pinch of magic powder (powdered sugar, dusting powder) sprayed over the bed, a magic elixir (water with diluted essential oil of lavender, mint or vanilla) sprinkled around the bed. A good option is a bed, the walls of which reach the floor from all sides. So the monsters will have nowhere to hide.

The child is comfortable with his mother. But feelings of comfort can be achieved in other ways as well. A favorite toy will become a reliable sleep guardian if you first tell your baby how well toys can do it. Live pets, such as a dog or a cat, also perform this function successfully if you can find a way to keep them within the children’s bedroom for at least an hour.

If the baby fell asleep, but in the middle of the night he came back to his parent’s bed, return him to his place. Just find out first why the child woke up – because of poor sleep, because he wanted to drink or to relieve his natural needs. If something scares him in the room, turn on the light, show that in fact it is a shadow from a chair or a large toy. Put him in the crib, calm him down, sit with him until he falls asleep. And so every time. Yes, it takes patience, but the baby will know that mom cares, mom will always understand and protect him.

When he is fully grown

The problem of falling asleep affects not only babies, but also children over 7 years old, and sometimes adults. Psychologists agree that fear is the problem. A specialist will help identify their causes. But you can also help your child to isolate themselves from unwanted scary factors at home.

• For example, don’t hang mirror opposite the bed… And the point is not in mysticism, but in the fact that any movement is reflected in the mirror, which in the dark can take frightening forms.

• It is not recommended to paste over the walls of the nursery with too dark wallpaper.… With the lights off, the room will seem like one continuous bottomless darkness.

• It should be confine large spaces of darkness – close the windows, the door to the corridor, especially if the bed is opposite it.

• By itself, no horror movies for the night… The violent fantasy of an impressionable child will see an eerie image from the film in every object.

• Perhaps complete silence also brings discomfort when the child is left alone in the dark. Leave the TV on, but mute the sound and set a timer so that it turns off after a while.

What will help before bed

There are general guidelines for preparing for bed. Surely all parents know them, but it will be useful to remind them.

Mode. It is very important for children. Let it be not a soldier’s drill, but the observance of certain established rules. Believe me, it will be safer for everyone: for children – because it is easier for them to follow an established ritual than to quickly adapt to changes; for parents – because it is easier to perform this children’s ritual than to calm the tantrum of an offended baby. It is better to put to bed at the same time, observing a certain order of actions. This relaxes the child, sets him up for sleep.

Confection before bedtime, children should not be given. Sugar is exciting, and in the evening it is completely useless.

Tea and other tonic drinks in the evening are not recommended for children. Not only will you try to calm the child down for a long time, you shouldn’t forget that tea provokes the physiological needs of the body and will make your baby wake up often. Better to replace tea with chamomile broth.

Rђ RІRѕS, a glass of warm milk a couple of hours before bedtime will be very helpful. Milk calms the nervous system and sets the body to rest. Only you need to use it without cookies and buns.

An hour before bedtime should not be no noisy games… It is advisable to turn off the TV. Reading books with a not too exciting plot is the best choice. And conversations, discussion of the day will even be useful for the child.

Some children find it difficult to calm down before going to bed, in this case, an easy massage… Start with a massage of the feet (provided that the child is not afraid of tickling), then move to the back, arms, shoulders, head, at the end, lightly brush over the forehead, cheeks and chin.

Many children like audio stories… Just choose recordings narrated in a pleasant, calm voice, without harsh sounds and too loud musical accompaniment.

Don’t expect a miracle to happen. Learning to fall asleep on its own is an educational moment, which consists in developing a habit, and this is not fast. Remember that persistence is important here, and all adult family members must act in concert. Of course, there is no need to slam the door and leave the child alone with his fears, at the risk of creating a situation where only a specialist can help. But to give slack, repeating every evening “The last time, and tomorrow you sleep yourself” is also not worth it. But with small steps and gradual addiction, you can achieve success and wean the child from just running into parental bed.

By the way, sometimes sleeping together is just torment for mom. Just look at this video – footage from which you feel sorry for mom to tears.