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Sometimes we all want to take a break, get away from pressing problems and relax a bit, putting things aside. But what if, in the end, our whole life begins to depend on this habit? While we rest, to-do lists grow with new items, and we have to come up with excuses for ourselves, just to not start a bunch of accumulated tasks. But there are some simple ways to increase your own motivation and finally start taking action.
Maria, a 34-year-old English teacher, decided on her birthday that this year would be her year of travel. But as she raised her glass of champagne, she suddenly realized that she had been making the same promise to herself for the past three years.
“I had to admit that I constantly put off not only important things, but my whole life.” This year, she decided, things would be different. Six months later, having overcome administrative obstacles and several thousand kilometers, she ended up in Ghana, where she began to teach English to local children. “Now I am satisfied. But I could continue to put off life, despite the feeling of a terrible inner emptiness.
95% of us, like Maria, tend to put off important things and decisions for later. This phenomenon has long had a special name – procrastination (from Latin procrastinatus: pro – “instead of”, “ahead”, and crastinus – “tomorrow”). Psychologists around the world are actively studying it.
We procrastinate when we decide to put off starting or finishing something. We spend time doing everything: checking email, cleaning, reading newspapers. Why is this behavior irrational? It doesn’t work, and even the rest we might be looking for is marred by worrying thoughts about how much work still remains unfinished.
Procrastination is a progressive habit. If you regularly make agreements with yourself or others about something and then break these agreements, your self-confidence will decrease exponentially. The next time you want to make a promise to yourself, you can hardly believe it – just like those around you.
Your choice is to take action!
The impact of procrastination can range from subtle to all-encompassing, and it gets bigger the longer, however small, you succumb to it. This is easy to visualize with a simple example. If for a long time every day you buy a bus ticket just before your trip, instead of buying a bus pass at the beginning of the month, you will spend more money. The same thing happens when you put things off until later, because time is one of the most valuable resources.
In this sense, it is not surprising that chronic procrastinators (they are 15 to 20% of the population) feel less happy. In addition, the habit of leaving everything to the last moment can be fatal: a tumor that is not examined in time can turn out to be malignant, a faulty fire alarm, if not fixed in time, will not help you save your home and family.
Guilt can be considered an early signal that you are not doing something very important.
It’s procrastination that makes you feel guilty all weekend because you didn’t prepare for an important presentation next week.
“When you tell yourself, ‘My choice is to take action,’ it has a powerful effect on you,” says psychologist Neil Fiore, author of The Easy Way to Stop Procrastinating.
Start working for 15 minutes on the task, do the same tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, and soon the job will be done. Since you will devote time every day to the important thing for you, the feeling of guilt will also go away. Fiore believes that guilt can be considered an early signal that you are not doing something very important. “I know that if I feel guilty, then there is something in my life that I try to avoid. I use this feeling as an indicator that I need to finally face my problems and start working on their resolution.
Why do we put things off?
Why do we procrastinate? “The main reason is that we place more value on short-term projects than on long-term projects,” says psychologist Piers Steele. “Long-term prospects always carry a smaller emotional charge, and therefore the motivation to take on them appears only when there is an urgent need.”
Age also affects us. “You’re more likely to be a procrastinator the younger you are,” says Steele. ‒ The concentration of attention increases with age, in addition, over time we learn to control ourselves better. In adulthood, we tend to be less impulsive and understand ourselves better. We know what to do in order to achieve our goals.”
Usually we put off an important task for later out of fear of failure or mistake. In our capitalist society, Fiore argues, “work is equated with our value.” If you put it off until later, you don’t get it done, and therefore the chances of you failing it are drastically reduced. Procrastination becomes a defense mechanism designed to protect our value by avoiding painful experiences.
Another reason some of us may procrastinate is our rebellious stance.
Anna, a 42-year-old financial advisor, recognizes herself in this description. “I love my job, but sometimes I have to do big presentations for very important clients,” she shares. I have never had the skill and love for public speaking, and therefore I am always worried: what if something goes wrong. In these moments, I can do anything: unnecessary phone calls, non-urgent business – just so as not to prepare for the presentation.
The irony of the situation is that the earlier you start the task, the more time you have to prepare, the more likely you are to actually succeed. A related problem is perfectionism. Procrastinators strive to be successful at everything and may have an irrational fear of failure so strong that they choose to abandon the task.
Another reason some of us may procrastinate may be a rebellious stance against authority. After all, we usually receive tasks from the authorities – the one who stands above us – and this can actualize unresolved children’s conflicts. The real problem is that we still have to complete this task. And while we may feel like we’ve got the upper hand while we’re dealing with the confrontation, it still won’t last. And it would be good to ask yourself the question: with whom exactly and why am I competing now?
Fight fear
Another possible reason for procrastination is the fear that some truth may come out that we do not want to notice. It is much easier to pretend that your child is fine, even if somewhere inside you know that he contacted the wrong company, or to refuse an interview, because deep down you are sure that you will not get this job.
When Alexandra first noticed that she and her husband had not spoken for a long time, she convinced herself that it was all about their workload. It was easier than admitting that their marriage was in serious danger. “I came up with a lot of excuses for my husband’s silence,” she sighs. “I knew we should talk about what was going on, but I pushed those thoughts aside so I wouldn’t have to really speak frankly.” Basically, I was just clinging to my comfortable fantasy that we were doing well.”
Many procrastinators can’t resist the lure of fleeting pleasure.
Sometimes procrastination can only creep into certain areas of our lives. “Someone can be extremely successful at work, but be unable to overcome family difficulties. Usually such people disappear at work from morning to night to avoid unpleasant conversations at home, ”says Perry.
Perry divides procrastinators into three groups.
The first includes those people who put everything off until later because they do not have enough skills to continue what they started: they are restless, impulsive, immature.
The second group includes those who have skills, but they have not been used for a long time. For example, you have a driver’s license, but after an accident you are terribly afraid to drive. Fear keeps you from tackling the problem.
The third group includes people with a deep unconscious conflict. “For example, you don’t want to have children,” Perry explains. ‒ On a conscious level, you may think that what matters most to you right now is your career. But perhaps you are just afraid of being a bad parent. If you do not realize this, it will be almost impossible to deal with this problem.”
What is your procrastination style?
Hedonist
Many procrastinators cannot resist the temptation of fleeting pleasure, which is why they are so easily distracted by extraneous things. Try to focus on the task for at least half an hour without being distracted, and you will see that your things will start to move unexpectedly.
Rebel
Rebels procrastinate when faced with the fact that they “should” do something, such as filing a tax return. Instead of doing the deed, they begin to protest.
Realize that some tasks really need to be done, and the best thing you can do is to finish them as quickly as possible and keep moving on.
Perfectionist
Procrastinators often tend to be perfectionists – they would rather not take on work at all than allow themselves to do it not well enough. What to do in this case? To start working. Inspiration will come along the way.
Restless
Many of us put things off because we doubt we can get them done. Try to leave negative thoughts aside: once you start a task, you will have the motivation to see it through to the end.
How to stop procrastinating
Apply Pareto law 20/80
According to this rule, 20% of your efforts give 80% of the result, and the remaining 80% of your efforts give only 20% of the result. If you have a list of 10 things to do, 2 of them will require as much or more effort as the other 8 put together. It is worth starting with these difficult tasks.
Set goals
Setting goals for each day can be one of the most effective self-motivation tools. It is important to formulate goals as specific as possible so that you understand by what date you can complete them. Don’t make promises to yourself that you’re not sure about.
five minute rule
Spend 5 minutes on the task. After that, decide whether to give it another 5 minutes. Often a difficult task becomes easier once we start solving it. Also, if we decide to spend time on a task, we probably don’t want to waste that time, so we tend to keep doing it.
Imagine success
Describe how you feel when you have a difficult task and don’t know how to solve it. Then describe how you will feel when you finally find a solution. The contrast between the burden of responsibility and the sense of accomplishment may be enough to motivate you to complete the task.
Make tasks meaningful
Procrastinators tend to exaggerate the unpleasantness of tasks that they constantly put off. Stop the negative self-talk and focus on why this task can be important and rewarding.
Today vs tomorrow
Ask yourself, how will you feel tomorrow if you do nothing today to solve your tasks? This may well push you to finally get down to business.
Encourage yourself
Think about how you can reward yourself for the completed task so that it is proportional to the effort expended. Do not discount the steps you have taken to overcome your own resistance – they should all be noted.