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In the implementation of the plan, most often it is not external restrictions that interfere, but the attitudes laid down in childhood, beliefs, fears and stereotypes instilled by others. Lacks self-confidence. Nevertheless, each person has the necessary potential to achieve their goals. How to get to this resource? Techniques and psychotechniques from a business coach and an expert in organizational development.
Of course, we are dependent on society. The perception of oneself as a person and self-confidence are influenced by the opinions of the environment, the attitudes of parents, friends and other significant figures, work, children, school, college and even social media. However, it is in our power to modify and update our «firmware».
Let’s think about today’s popular belief: everyone should strive for success. It would seem that it is bad? But everything has a downside.
Everyone cannot and should not be achievers and leaders
We are tailor-made for different tasks: someone realizes himself in management, someone is an ideal performer. Just as one is better given the humanities, and the other is mathematical.
«Prestigious» professions exist only in people’s minds. In the East there is such a thing as ikigai — purpose or value of life (the most similar decoding in meaning). Ikigai can be anything: treating patients, growing flowers, and financial analytics. The main thing is that the activity is loved, in demand, benefits others and allows you to have an income. Then a person fulfills his unique and valuable role in the world (mission) and is ecologically integrated into society.
It is not easy to conform to other people’s settings. And if you continue to try to catch up with the «successful» and «happy», you can get into a vicious circle of inconsistency with your desires and lose joy.
There is another factor.
Selective perception of reality
A well-known experiment (if you haven’t heard it, try it yourself): a person is taken into an unfamiliar room and asked to memorize as many objects as possible in 30 seconds, say, blue. And then close your eyes and try to list them.
But this is only the first task of the participant. The second — and most important — without opening your eyes, name as many objects of a different color as possible. Let it be bright and memorable: red, yellow, orange.
For most, this is extremely difficult, because they remember other things.
So it is in life: relying on beliefs and attitudes, we notice only what is in our focus of perception. And, of course, we find confirmation of our ideas.
Reality can be different, it corresponds to what you want to see in it. Our beliefs set the vector for perception. How can one expand the focus and analyze its range?
Removing limiting beliefs
One of the techniques I use in mindset coaching and strategy sessions is called the Museum of Old Beliefs. It can be done with a mentor or on your own. It does not require deep knowledge in psychology.
5 easy steps:
Left alone with yourself, sit back and think about what you once firmly believed in, but now have lost faith.
Imagine that a belief that has lost its power over you can be deposited in a special museum. What will it be, where can it be placed in your room? Visualize well, and then put the outdated belief in it and close it.
Now think of something positive that you firmly believe in. Any forecast that fills with joy.
Come up with another repository for new beliefs. And put a positive outlook there.
Mentally enter the area where the new beliefs are stored, and leave the old museum aside. Watch him, accept with gratitude the lessons he has given, and acknowledge that it is in the past. You can come, contact if necessary, even transfer something from the old museum to the new one. But you don’t need to get stuck in it anymore.
Two more psychotechniques that allow you not to fight fears and inner convictions, but to get around them, understanding, comprehending, disassembling into components or replacing them with new ones.
«Stretching». Try to exaggerate, exaggerate the conviction, bring it to the point of absurdity. Does perfectionism get in the way? Dedicate your free day to doing the same small action, honing and perfecting it. In some cases, it is enough to imagine this picture well. The brain “does not like” the prospects, and gradually, in order to protect itself, it will begin to get rid of the installation.
«Collapsing». Reverse technique. Here you go from generalization to specificity, from the position of «always» to the position of «when». For example, the attitude “only a person with connections can become a director” can be specified by giving examples of leaders who have climbed the career ladder since its inception. This will allow you to compare the factors of influence and points of growth that led to the result. That way you can find something that works for you too.
Learn to observe and develop critical thinking
This is a good way to analyze inconsistencies in internal beliefs. Observe your behavior from the outside, learn to evaluate actions impartially, to see the connection between actions and results.
People develop, mature, change. Some beliefs may lose their relevance and hinder development. Critical thinking helps to understand what is outdated and shift the focus of attention to a new vector that is consonant with you and motivates.