Who am I, housewife or housekeeper? This question from “Baby and Carlson” is inevitable if a woman wants to combine work and home. And only at first glance the answer lies on the surface: a good manager cannot be a bad organizer. For some reason, after all, it is widely believed that a woman must decide: either she is raising children, or she is pursuing a career.
Daria Pantyukh is the head and trainer of the Personal Partner Center for Development and Growth.
In me, this approach has always given rise to protest and misunderstanding. In my opinion, this is a violation of the foundations of balance: a person can be harmonious and happy only when he is fully realized both in his profession and in his personal life. Moreover, it is absolutely not necessary to go to work for this: you can achieve everything without leaving the cash register.
Pass the tests
- Are you ready to compromise in communication?
- What role do you play in the family?
A woman is a unique being. It is not for nothing that in the corporate world it is believed that a woman leader is the embodiment of efficiency. She manages to accommodate much more in 24 hours than an effective male manager. By nature, she is characterized by accuracy, attentiveness and sensitivity in relation to the team. She makes decisions based on the interests of all team members. If we turn to management theory, then the main task of any manager is to develop and involve people next to him in the work process. But isn’t that what mothers do in families? Isn’t the family the same team that a woman leads under her control into the future?
A team in business is much easier to lead to a result. There is financial motivation, each member of the team understands why and for what he should participate in something. At the end of the month, everyone receives a personal financial reward. And how to interest and involve members of the family team? What is the same result?
Let me tell you one story as an example.
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My friend, in the past a major leader, and now a member of the parent committee, agreed to take part in the regional family sports Olympiad. It was a running marathon. The task was not easy, because the marathon did not provide prizes. The main goal is to take part, and with a full family composition. My friend had to deal with such situations more than once at work. She formulated the task at the family council, but unexpectedly faced with a wave of indifference and misunderstanding, “what is all this for?” Most of all, the husband and father were indignant: he, naturally, did not have time for all sorts of nonsense. Direct instructions did not help the cause, but it was not in the rules of my friend to refuse the idea. Something told her that the family situation was somehow different from the standard one at work. The marathon was three weeks away.
My friend set to work developing a plan of action and setting priorities, which is what she usually did in difficult work situations. The first step was to involve all team members in the process. Dad was the hardest nut to crack, and without him participation was not considered complete. The second point was the very participation in the marathon, and the third was the victory: my mother understood that without reinforcing the project with positive emotions, one could lose credibility.
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To begin with, a lot of entertaining literature about running appeared in the house, films about competitions and the taste of victory prevailed in family evening viewings. The kids started talking about fashion sneaker brands. After waiting for the full involvement of the children, my friend resorted to a priority item. She explained to the children that without their father’s consent they would not be taken into account, and dad could not resist the persuasion of the children.
The promised day has come. The marathon started at 10 am. The whole team of my friend pranced at the start in trendy yellow outfits. At the head, as expected, was dad with an insanely gambling expression on his face. He decided that no work could be done without a decent chant. On the go, they began to come up with a ritual and a chant. Under the guidance of the pope, they developed a combination of movements that were supposed to start and end the competition. The name of the team was even coined – “yellow mouths” – in honor of the color of family costumes. Gave a start.
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The “yellowmouths” ran with jokes, jokes, interrupting each other with chants, stopping along the way to perform the ritual. And everything seems to be fine, the problem is solved! But not quite … A friend suddenly remembered the third point – victory. How could it be without her?! And fully armed with her abilities as an effective leader, she began to push the team to the finish line. Papa was the first to rise.
“Come on! And so cool, fun!” he protested.
“Why do we need this finish, mom?” The children supported their father.
“You’re just like a housekeeper,” the younger one was upset.
Girlfriend slowed down, comprehending what had happened. The team continued to run, but without her… She met them at the finish line, and I stood next to her.
“Well, how? I asked, knowing my friend well. “Surely they go first?” “Not. I almost ruined everything,” she replied. “And in general, what do you think, who is a housekeeper?”
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I was discouraged by the question, and at that moment a team of “yellow mouths” ran past us with loud laughter: “Mom, we didn’t win, we didn’t even pass in the standings. You are upset?” The girlfriend did not answer, but simply, embracing them and shouting victory chants along with them, went towards the house.
Yes, a good manager is a talent, and it does not matter where you show it. The difference is only in goals and results. In the family they are different from the goals in business. In a family, the result is a process. And if there is a place for pleasure and joy in the process, then the task is solved as efficiently as possible. It is important to see the line in time, crossing which you will no longer have a chance to become a good housekeeper, a friend to your children. And please be a housewife who wants to be locked in a room with a vacuum cleaner.