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Today, people meet on the Internet no less than through mutual acquaintances. But sooner or later the time comes to meet in person. How to understand that it is time to transform virtual relationships into real ones, and what should be the first date? About this psychologist Liesel Sharabi.
Dating services at the peak of popularity. Here you can meet an interesting person and chat with him, but real dates happen live. And the success of a new relationship largely depends on what happens at the first meeting.
1. Be prepared to be disappointed
At the first meeting, virtual acquaintances often seem less attractive to each other than they expected. This was confirmed by a study that I conducted with colleagues from the University of Illinois.
People tend to idealize a potential partner. They make assumptions based on the information in the profile. But these data are not always true. But don’t let that stop you from getting to know each other.
2. Don’t delay online communication
Another surefire way to form unrealistic expectations is to talk too much to get to know each other better. Often people have intimate conversations on the Internet for several months, but in the real world there is no chemistry between them.
It is optimal to take relationships offline 2-3 weeks after a virtual acquaintance. At this point, it becomes clear whether it is worth continuing the conversation.
3. Be honest
Anonymity on the Internet encourages you to embellish some details or keep silent about something. Try treating your profile on a dating site like a contract. Let the information about you be positive, but realistic.
4. Don’t jump to conclusions
Many use online dating to find the perfect partner. But they themselves do not know for sure which of the qualities they have listed will be attractive when meeting with a real person.
For example, when meeting spontaneously in transport or at a party, you will not measure a person’s height. But write in the profile: not lower than 180 cm. Figure out which features are really important to you and which ones are not of particular importance.
5. Go to a bar on your first date
Physical anthropologist Helen Fisher believes that a cocktail is enough on a first date. So you do not spend a lot of time and money and look at each other. Millennials consider an invitation to dinner at a restaurant something out of date. Keep things simple on the first date and save money for the second.
The Internet has made communication convenient and easy, but you should not get carried away with virtuality. Only live communication will show whether a potential partner has a chance to become real.
About the Author: Liesel Sharabi is a psychologist at West Virginia University.