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How to teach your child to appreciate what you do for him
Our children have forgotten how to be grateful. Is it because we do too much for them?
How did it happen that a terry egoist suddenly grows out of an angel, for whom you are no more than a resource, a source of various benefits and amenities? After all, no matter what forum you go to, everywhere parents complain that children are spoiled today, do not appreciate what they have, “in our time we were happy with the terrible baby doll, but give it an iPhone”. We will disappoint you: children grow up like that because we raise them like that. Mothers and fathers, grandparents are ready to do anything for the child. And the child suddenly becomes angry and even cruel.
“I made great efforts to ensure that my daughter understood that I am a mother, not a cook, a maid, an ATM, a punching bag, in the end,” says the columnist … She shared her secrets on how to teach a child to be grateful.
“Thank you” and “please” should become a habit
Sounds extremely simple. But think about it: a child issues dozens of requests per day, which in fact do not sound like requests at all, because you hear “please” and “thank you” at best one time out of ten. “I want to eat”, “I’m bored”, “let’s go play”, “I want cartoons” – if you silently respond to all these requests, it will not take long to become a personal servant of your precious. Remind your child that both grandparents, caregivers, and anyone who helps them deserve courtesy and gratitude.
With age, the baby can be assigned more and more chores around the house. At a minimum, he should be able to clean up his toys himself (oh, how many scandals there were about this!) Take care of pets, water flowers, clear the table and sort out purchases, dust and sweep – gradually the kid will understand how much you do for the family … And, accordingly, he will begin to appreciate your work. But here it is important that the load is regular for them. So be firm and consistent, do not let the child philonate.
A wonderful habit that is a novelty in Russian families. It consists in the following: when the baby gets a gift from a friend, family member, from you or Santa Claus, let him write a letter of thanks. While the child still does not know how to write, compose the text with him, and let the child add a couple of scribbles or drawings. It is important that the child understands why you are doing this, and understands that any gift is a reason for gratitude.
Children absorb our model of behavior. Therefore, behave with parents as you would like your child to behave towards you. Surely after all, mom and dad are still helping you with something, right? Feel free to thank them for this. Shouted at the waiter or rude to the seller in front of the baby? They gave an excellent lesson in “politeness” and set a model for resolving conflict situations. Rudeness can also be taught. And then reap the benefits of your “learning”.
Some parents take their children to orphanages so that they know how children who do not have a family live. The method, frankly, is dubious. Very much like an excursion to the zoo. But signing up as a volunteer in a shelter and taking a child with you is a good thing. True, it requires huge moral costs and a lot of time. But this is a personal matter for everyone.
We do not mean a financial organization, but an ordinary bank where the kid will put his “thanks”. Catherine advises to conduct a kind of training: let the baby every day for a week write on a piece of paper the name of an object or action, or the name of a person to whom he is grateful for something. This will give your child (and you too) the habit of focusing on pleasant things rather than everyday difficulties.