How to teach a child to order

This question is asked by many parents. Two-year-old Kirill actively helps to put the bed in the nightstand. He puffs, thrusting a naughty pillow, certainly wants to deal with it himself and, naturally, interferes with me. Only the experience of a friend who has already despaired of teaching her seven-year-old son to make his own bed keeps me from the usual: “Get away, I’m on my own.”

Children are not born lazy. We parents make them lazy.

Having barely learned to walk, the baby seeks to put things in order in cabinets and cabinets, in pots and shoes. Imitating adults, like a mother, he swings a broom and wields a rag, argues to tears, trying to win the right to wash a cup or plate. Only at such a tender age is a person able to receive sincere pleasure from putting things in order. It is important for parents not to miss this moment. Nothing that there is a puddle of water on the floor, and the garbage is spilled past the bucket.

The main thing is that the enthusiasm of the young assistant is reinforced in time by your praise: “Thank you, my dear! What would I do without you?!»

But more often, in response to the economic initiative of children, we say something completely different: “Don’t interfere,” “Don’t interfere,” “It’s too early for you,” “Go and play. You are still small.» Only a few years will pass and the dialogue with the child will be different: “You must”, “Take it away”, “How much can I tell you, because you are already an adult.” And now the child does not want to, does not clean, is naughty, cries, because he is not used to it. “You are already big. You have to help your mother,” he hears one day. What was once forbidden and desirable has become obligatory and boring. “Habit is second nature,” says folk wisdom.

Habitual rituals for a child are the basis and reliability of his life. It is difficult for a child to change the existing stereotype of behavior. About the same as an adult. Do you want your child to keep order? Try to include cleaning in your daily routine so that it becomes as familiar as washing your hands or kissing before bed.

Working in a company seems twice as easy

And alone, even easy work can seem overwhelming. I remember at the age of eight I was instructed to sweep the floor regularly. How unbearably hard this work seemed to me, how huge our two small rooms became! But as soon as other family members joined in the cleaning, things immediately became much easier and more enjoyable. Do not leave the baby alone with the mess. Have pity on him, get to work together. You will see with what joy the baby will put things in order, wash, clean. Don’t worry, you won’t spoil him. On the contrary, learn to empathize and help.

Oh, the rush!

We always lack five minutes exactly when the child decided to help. Someone’s nerves give up right away: “Don’t interfere, move away!”. Someone after a couple of minutes: “You see, you didn’t wash well. I’d rather be on my own.» The second option is even worse than the first, because it destroys not only the initiative, but also the child’s self-confidence. And imagine how insulting it is when, in front of your eyes, someone is redoing the work you just completed!

Do not rush to wash the dishes with the baby, rewash things. Do not laugh at his ineptitude, do not scold if the cup breaks and water spills on the floor: who does not happen to! You don’t become dexterous and skillful overnight.

And it is easier to acquire this worldly experience when it is flavored with generous praise. Don’t be afraid to praise your child. Thanks for the help, for the work, for the support. They really are the most valuable thing for us.

More variety!

Probably, many are familiar with the “hands-on work” that periodically comprehends the family before big holidays. There were also such “events” in our family. Mom usually went to the kitchen to cook something special, but I was always entrusted with only one thing — cleaning the apartment. And how I wanted to conjure over pies with my mother! .. Children cannot stand monotony. And to blame them for your least favorite job is not fair at all. If you want your child to readily respond to our requests for help, you need to give him the right to choose. “Today we need to dust and clean up the buffet. What you choose?»

Let your child’s responsibilities change

One mother instructed her daughter to monitor the absence of dust in the apartment. This girl came to visit, looked around: “Oh, you have so much dust on the windowsill!” And on the windowsill, in addition to dust, there were also unusual minerals, beautiful shells, clay crafts, and flowers. But the little “dust manager” did not notice this … Take the child with you to the kitchen. He may not cut the vegetables so finely and knead the dough so thoroughly. But after all, if he is not allowed in now, when will he learn to do it better? You don’t want your daughter to not know how to peel potatoes at the age of 16, and your son didn’t know how to hold a hammer in his hands?

Clean up, so with the music!

Does your child like to clean up after themselves? Capricious, whining, shirking in all available ways? How do you feel about life yourself? Never complain: “Oh, how tired I am of these pots, cleaning, washing, cooking!” Does your child put things in their places with the physiognomy of a great martyr? Take a look at yourself in the mirror before tidying up your closet. Didn’t that sad expression sound familiar to you? Perhaps your offspring just takes an example from mom and dad?

Our ancestors argued faster to the song. Even routine, hard work became easier and more fun. And if you arrange books, notebooks or clothes in a new way in an old closet, even the old closet will become new and unusual. Agree, it’s not boring anymore, but interesting! So try turning the dreaded name «general cleaning» into a holiday, «The Feast of Total Order.»

When my daughter was little, we didn’t have a washing machine. All things we washed by hand in a large basin. Nadia would settle down in a small apron with her little basin and diligently lather her sock or handkerchief. The splash of water, soapy foam like ice cream, sparkling bubbles, the consciousness of our own adulthood turned our hard work into the Great Laundry Festival. And in the evening, the daughter proudly showed her dad the socks and handkerchiefs drying on a rope: “Look, I washed it all myself!”.

Toys are an attribute of a happy childhood and the cause of family conflicts. After all, it is they, evenly scattered around the apartment, that are the cause of a myriad of quarrels and insults, whims and punishments. So what to do with them, after all?

“I got up in the morning, washed myself, put myself in order — be sure to put your planet in order,” said the Little Prince at Saint-Exupery. So, in order for your little prince or princess to have the opportunity to put things in order, they need their own “planet”, even if it is small. Cleaning up your corner is much more pleasant and interesting.

• Do not miss the periods when children themselves tend to clean and arrange things to their liking. The first usually occurs around two years of age. The kid wants to show his independence, in addition, he tries to imitate his mother in everything. The second is four years old. Many children at this time wake up a sense of beauty. If the baby has his own corner, he wants to organize it beautifully and comfortably. At 7-8 years old, children have their own secrets, and they tend to put their things in order without the participation of an adult.
• Try to arrange the nursery so that it is easy to put things in order in it. For dolls, soft animals, cars, open racks and shelves are suitable. It is very convenient to put small toys, cubes, cones and other treasures in large baskets or boxes.
• Plan your day with your child. Help the baby remember all the things he does during the day; let him decorate a leaflet with a schedule and hang it on the wall. And let there be a special item «Putting order». Then every evening you will be able to appeal to this evidence of your agreements.
• For kids, cleaning will become more fun if it is accompanied by a “special” song. You can choose it according to your taste. In our house, the signal to start cleaning in the nursery is this chant: “Bom-bom, tili-bom, we clean everything around. Our house will be clean, tili-bom, tili-bom.
• A fairy tale can help. It is one thing to clean a room just like that, but quite another to prepare it for a nightly visit by elves. Magical babies love to dance on the carpet in the nursery, but if toys are scattered on the floor, there is simply nowhere for them to frolic. Or maybe in the evening Ole Lukoye, a famous storyteller, comes to visit your baby? This kind dwarf is a very big neat man. Seeing the mess, he gets so upset that he can’t remember a single fairy tale.
• No need to threaten: “If you don’t clean it up, I’ll throw all the toys in the trash!”. But if the child does not care about his “friends”, leaves them anywhere, one night (after all, toys come to life at night, you know) they may be offended and leave. Then, of course, they will take pity on the owner and return, provided that he gives his word of honor to take care of them.