Life in society imposes a lot of restrictions, including on the expression of their emotions. As we grow up, we become emotionally strong and learn to contain anger and other negative impulses. But how do you teach children to control their emotions?
As strange as it may sound, emotions cannot be divided into good and bad. The fact is that they are all very important to a person, they are all useful. Can the “bad” be useful?
Fear, for example, can warn of danger. Dissatisfaction, anger make something to change in life for the better, prompting to move towards the goal. Thanks to emotional saturation, a person feels the fullness of life with all its colors. But the behavior caused by these emotions can be good or bad. Unfortunately, not even all adults know how to control him, let alone children.
Woman’s Day brings to your attention the advice of a psychologist, following which you will teach your children to cope with anger, fear, resentment and other emotions.
There are many situations in life that cause anger, anger and irritation. Feelings of injustice, actions and actions that contradict our principles, disobedience, rudeness can cause a response – aggression. You can learn to manage your anger only if you understand its cause and control your emotions. Having identified the cause of negative feelings, you need to direct them in a different direction, that is, the problem must be disassembled, talked about, discussed, and not hidden.
It is impossible to live completely without anger, these emotions are the protection of our body. We defend ourselves, and this helps us to fight, achieve success, and move on.
How do you make aggressive anger non-aggressive? In any situation, you should talk about how you feel, expressing your feelings, you help to leave anger and irritation. Express yourself clearly and briefly. So you, describing your feelings, will let them come out of you.
Being able to manage your emotions is important not only for adults, but also for children. How well we are able to control our emotional state affects both our well-being and our relationships with others. The task of the parents is to teach the child to manage his emotions, to teach him to express his feelings in a socially acceptable form.
First of all, you need to constantly explain to the child his feelings. Sometimes he himself does not understand what he is feeling. The adult’s task is to voice the baby’s emotions. In the beginning, when the child is small, the mother can simply automatically name the child’s emotions: “You are upset”, “You are offended”, “You are angry.” After some time, the child himself will call them. Here, parents should accept and support the child for what he is aware of and calls them, in no case should they scold him. The very naming of emotions reduces the intensity of feelings by several times.
It is necessary to teach the child to talk about his emotions without hesitation, to encourage, stimulate a conversation about what he is upset about. If the child does not have the opportunity to talk about his pain and frustration, he will throw it out in another way – push the offender, take away the toy, offend the mother, and so on. Innocent people often suffer from this.
Teach your child to throw out negative emotions without causing damage – moral and material. Tell him that it’s okay to be angry. But it is necessary to throw out the negative in “cultural” ways. You can beat a pillow, rip paper, wrinkle newspapers, do physical exercises (squats, push-ups, jumping). You can shout loudly, if there are conditions for this, in the forest, for example, or whisper your displeasure in a specially designated place. Some people like to furiously spray flowers with a spray bottle, sculpt anger out of plasticine and crush it. But never let your child hit the younger ones, push the parents and break toys. And, most importantly, parents themselves should be an example for him, not to arrange violent family conflicts, quarrels with breaking dishes. If the parents themselves are calm, balanced, treat people well, and approach the child’s problems with understanding, then it will be easier for him to develop self-control skills.
Nothing helps to cope with anger and resolve internal problems like the sincere participation of caring loved ones. Don’t pass by an upset child. Always ask who offended him, what happened – in kindergarten, at school, on the playground. Discuss controversial issues, teach forgiveness instead of looking for someone to blame.
You can teach your child to breathe deeply. For example, when he is angry, ask him to take ten deep breaths with you. The effect will be noticeable immediately: the child will calm down and relax. If, in stressful situations, deep breathing is made a skill, then the child will be able to put his thoughts in order before he loses control of himself.
Gradually, each person learns to control himself and in most cases to behave with restraint. Awareness of their behavior is formed in childhood, so the sooner a child learns to be aware of his emotions and express them correctly, the better. You are constantly in communication with your child, play, walk, read, design, draw. Try to become your child’s best friend so that he or she speaks to you first of all about all his problems.
Managing your emotional state is easy, and everyone can do it. The main thing is to have the desire to do it and make the effort.