How to teach a child to clean up

The most important thing is not specific techniques and techniques, says Japanese writer Tatsumi Nagisa. Thanks to cleaning, people learn something more important – how to handle things, build relationships with family, make decisions. In fact, there are more and more things around us. When we put things in order, we don’t just clean, fold and arrange everything beautifully in its place. We have to solve a number of questions: do we need this thing or not? If yes, how often do we use it? Where is the best place to put it so that it is easy to get it?

There are no children who are born with these skills. Putting things back in place is a matter of habit. And you have to form this habit by teaching your child to clean as carefully and patiently as you teach him to talk or handle a cup or fork. If you keep repeating the same thing over and over, as if putting things away right away is a matter of course, then he will gradually get used to this thought. For him, it will become as natural as turning off the light when leaving the toilet.

But parents need to be wise to know when to rebuke. For example, if a child was going to put the thing back, and you told him: “you didn’t put it where you need it,” then he will object to you that “he was just going to,” and it will only get worse.

And yet, education largely consists of persistent repetition of the same attitudes. The main thing is not to give in to emotions and set the right example. It is almost impossible to accustom a child to something in which you yourself are not strong.

What cleaning teaches a child

• To be independently responsible for his things, to be able to dispose of what he has. If you do not put the scissors in place, then they are difficult to find next time. If you throw clothes at random, they wrinkle. If you just stuff all the things in the closet, then it is impossible to find what you need among them.
• Separate things into necessary and unnecessary. Determine how much you need. In life, a child will often have to make a choice, and not only about whether he needs some thing. Self-reliance develops when a person learns from an early age to take responsibility for their decisions.
• Think about yourself and others. A home is a place where people live under the same roof. Among the things that we store here are both general and personal. Maintaining order in the house means thinking about how to behave and how to handle things in the common area. When the child understands that it is necessary to overcome laziness and remove scattered toys from the living room, because they interfere with everyone, he will gradually get used to thinking about others.

What tasks will the child have to master?

Putting things in order means one of two things:

1. Put back what you took. Things that the child uses during the day – books, school supplies, toys, towels – should be put away immediately after use. The things that he puts on or takes with him when going out (clothing, backpack, mobile phone, even a lunch container) should be returned to their original place, and not thrown anywhere.

2. Deal with what you brought home. When a child brings home printouts from school, a new toy, or something else that was not in the house before, he needs to determine a place for these items. Often he decides to put it “somewhere for now” or shove it into a desk drawer that hardly closes anyway. The child needs to get used to throwing away or putting away new things that he brings into the house.

3. Mark the time

Returning things to their place after you use them is easy. This simple action is not performed by everyone and not always. Even an adult, after cutting his nails, can put nail scissors on the table and leave the read book on the sofa. Adults can only control themselves as much as possible. And for a child, the best option would be to get used to putting everything in its place right from childhood.

With one remark, let him know that he needs to act right now. If you see that the child is about to throw the scissors, remind them where they should be. If he stood on a chair to get something, and then forgot to put it away, tell him that the chair is not in place. If the child takes out the blocks first, then the toy railroad, then the origami, gently stop him. Simple words are enough: “First, put away what you played, and then take out other toys.” You can tell him once at the end of the day: “Well, it’s already evening, it’s time for you to put everything back in place.”

4. Teach how to put away things so that they are easy to get

If the thing lies so that it is easy to get and put away, then it is easy to use it. Let’s say a child goes to a drawing circle. What will happen if you make the top shelf of the bookcase a place to store paints? Surely the child will be too lazy to climb onto a chair every time, so the paints will remain lying on the floor all week. If this happens, then you should find a more accessible place.

What you use extremely rarely, at most once or twice a year, can be placed on the top shelves. For items that are needed frequently, try to choose a place that is easy to reach without standing up on a chair or squatting down. Also, make sure the boxes open easily and are not stuffed to the top.

5. Agree not to leave your belongings in the common area

Hallway, corridor, bathroom, toilet, living room – these are places for everyone. The house becomes comfortable when all the inhabitants monitor the condition of the common territory. In most families, the mother is responsible for this. Every day she puts shoes in the closet, cleans the toilet and carries things around the rooms that the whole family leaves in the living room. If it suits everyone, so be it.

But I am convinced that everyone should take care of the order in the house. It is better to instill this skill in a child while he has not yet grown up. When he leaves things in the hallway, living room, or somewhere else, tell him, “If you don’t take things out of the hallway, they will get in the way” or “Take things from the living room to your room.” Explain to the child that you need not to shift things from one common place to another, but to put them away.

Agree that parents can throw out toys that are lying around at any time without warning, and he will be to blame for this. Then you just need to say: “Look at the floor” – and the child proceeds to restore order. The only question is how much he trusts his parents. Show that you are serious. If you are warned that you will throw away toys, throw them away. If you told the child to clean up right now, do not let him watch TV (go to bed / sit down at the table) until he finishes cleaning.

Let the confidence that keeping the house clean is very important not leave you. This belief will help to resist excuses and motivate the child to boldly take on the task. Don’t think it’s enough to make a child clean up. Help him, think and act with him. Firstly, you will become an example for him, and secondly, most likely, you yourself will begin to understand how to do better. This understanding will bring you a sense of completeness and completeness.

Source: N. Tatsumi “Magical cleaning for children. How the art of putting things in order helps the development of the child” (Bombora, 2018).