How to teach a child not to be ashamed of his body?

What attitude towards the body will be formed in the child: will he be able to accept and love himself or will he begin to be ashamed of his shortcomings? Much of this will depend on his parents.

“Parents can influence a child’s relationship with their body in a number of ways,” explains Amy Slater, of the Appearance Research Institute at the University of the West of England. – Much depends on how it is customary in the family to discuss topics related to the body and appearance. It is very important to help your child form a positive attitude towards his body – this will strengthen his self-esteem and will motivate him to adhere to a healthy lifestyle. On the contrary, negative attitudes can lead to low self-esteem, depression, eating disorders, poor academic performance, and an unhealthy lifestyle.” How should parents behave in order to avoid these unpleasant consequences?

1. Do not discuss the physical shortcomings of others in front of children.

“Children learn about their own bodies by listening to adults talk,” recalls psychologist René Engeln, author of Beauty Sick: How Our Preoccupation with Appearance Hurts Girls and Women. “If they constantly hear elders discussing someone’s physical defects and criticizing someone else’s appearance, they get the impression that our body cannot be beautiful on its own. Looking at themselves in the mirror, they begin to meticulously assess themselves.

Your child will most likely hear similar criticisms from peers and strangers, but you can counter their influence by cutting off such conversations at home. It is worth paying close attention to what you say about the figure and weight in the presence of children, and avoid judgmental comments so as not to inspire the kids that the value of a person is directly related to his appearance.

2. Stop criticizing your own appearance

Parents should not discuss with their children not only other people’s, but also their own physical disabilities. “Avoid phrases like “I’ve gained so much weight!” or “I don’t have the figure to wear this!” Amy Slater advises.

“Remember what you say about your appearance and weight to children or in their presence. We must show children that people of all shapes deserve respect. To do this, it is important to learn to love your body and watch what you say about it in front of the kids, ”explains Rebecca Poole, a professor at the University of Connecticut.

3. Set an example of a positive attitude towards your body

It is important not only to stop criticizing your figure in front of children, but also to replace any negative statements with positive ones. “It is important for us parents to allow ourselves and our children to love and appreciate themselves, regardless of weight, figure and appearance,” recalls Rebecca Poole. “I often remind my daughter that every body is beautiful, and hers too,” echoes Joslyn Smith, director of communications for the National Eating Disorders Association of the United States.

4. Instill Other Values ​​in Them

Rene Engeln suggests trying to introduce a rule in the family: avoid talking about the body altogether, thereby showing children that there are much more important topics to discuss. “So you send a signal to children: it’s not the appearance of a person that matters, but his actions and actions,” she says. Amy Slater agrees with her: “Teach children to appreciate and develop personal qualities that are not related to appearance, such as the ability to be a good friend.”

5. Talk more about what our bodies are capable of.

“Teach kids to value their body for its capabilities, not for its appearance,” advises Amy Slater. Instead of discussing weight and body shape, talk to children about what their bodies are capable of and how they feel in them.

“When my daughter says to me: “My stomach is growing” or “Mom, you are fat,” I answer that she is right, says Jocelyn Smith. “She is growing, and her belly is getting bigger, and I consider myself fat. I tell my daughter how great it is that she notices the changes, that she is growing and becoming stronger, that our bodies can be of all shapes and sizes, that some bodies are capable of more than others, but they are all equally good and valuable.

6. Set an example for a healthy lifestyle

“Many parents worry that their child is sedentary or has a poor diet. But if they try to fix the situation by criticizing his appearance, they can only aggravate it, ”Rebecca Poole is sure.

Children will be more likely to eat healthy and be active if parents create an environment at home that encourages this and lead by example.

7. Discuss with children the topic of weight and exercise, be very careful.

When teaching children to a healthy lifestyle, it is better not to raise the topic of weight at all. “Tell your child that physical activity helps the body stay flexible and strong, that it is enjoyable and relieves stress. Teach him to listen to the signals of hunger and satiety that his body sends. Instead of dividing foods into good and bad, teach him to eat intuitively,” recommends Rene Engeln.

It is important how you talk to your children about food, health and physical activity.

“Our mental health is largely dependent on nutrition and exercise, so in order for a child to love his body, it is important to talk about these topics calmly and openly. For example, parents can allow children to eat a variety of foods, help them figure out what is right for them, while not hurting their self-esteem, says Australian psychologist Laura Hart. “If parents can instill in their child a love of physical activity, while not talking about weight, they will greatly benefit him and save him from feelings of guilt and shame in the future.”

8. Don’t let others give your kids bad ideas.

It’s not enough to simply ban negative body language – a child can receive these unhealthy messages from strangers as well. “If with a child someone begins to speak disapprovingly about overweight people, it is important to explain to the baby why this is unacceptable. Do not let relatives make fun of someone’s excess weight or condemn someone’s physical defects in his presence, ”advises Rebecca Poole.

9. Watch what he watches and reads

Children are attacked from all sides by aggressive advertising, forcing them to strive for sometimes unattainable ideals. “Think about what messages your child receives from the information space,” suggests Amy Slater. What does he read and watch? What ideas about the figure and appearance are suggested to him? Try to offer him films and books in which characters of various builds appear, and beauty is not given decisive importance.

10. Value diversity

So that he does not have complexes regarding his body, parents must show that every person, regardless of his bodily features, is worthy of respect. “Find role models for children of different sizes: successful, kind, ambitious, talented,” advises Rebecca Poole.

It is not easy to start looking at yourself and others without judgment, it will take practice. Not everyone in childhood was taught to accept and appreciate everyone, regardless of their appearance and complexion. But if we want, we can learn it ourselves and teach our children.

Source: The Huffington Post.