Contents
- How to build communication so as not to swear
- How to deal with other people’s emotions
- Is it worth it to stop communicating with loved ones if our views differ
- How to support those who have an opinion different from mine
- Are there limits to “permissible empathy”?
- Three books on the rules of communication:
We all want to communicate only with those who share our point of view and support what we are talking about. But, alas, the real world is very far from ideal and most often it turns out that not all relatives are ready to agree with us. What is the right thing to do in such cases?
How to build communication so as not to swear
Think about how much you need to talk about politics at all. If you need support, then try not to discuss the political situation itself, but only talk about your feelings and experiences, verbalize them.
If you see that your interlocutor is captured by emotions, then it is better to postpone the conversation or voice on the shore that now you are ready to discuss only feelings, not facts.
Speak common values and build on them in conversation. People have different views, and that’s okay. But even so, each of us has something that unites us, some common truths and values.
Try to separate the person from what he is saying. This can be incredibly difficult at times, but necessary to keep the conversation peaceful.
Show that you do not just argue, but hear the interlocutor and acknowledge that he may have a point of view, even if you don’t agree with it. And here it is important not to forget what we talked about in the previous paragraph: separate the person from what he broadcasts to you.
Use «I-messages».
How to deal with other people’s emotions
First, you need to deal with your emotions. As long as we ourselves are emotionally unstable, we are not able to withstand other people’s feelings. In the case when there is no time to calm down, you can remember the ways that help to cope with emotions quickly. I usually recommend using breathing techniques.
Is it worth it to stop communicating with loved ones if our views differ
It is necessary to solve such a question not on emotions, but with a sober head. Try to understand why you want to end the conversation. Is it a momentary impulse or a decision that has been ripening for a long time?
Write all the pros and cons. If you are emotional or after a long and hard argument, then give yourself time to cool down. Perhaps, if a person is dear to you, you should not stop communicating completely, but simply distance yourself to the distance that will be comfortable for you.
The same goes for deleting friends on social media. You can do this if you feel more comfortable. However, it is also important to ask yourself if the decision is made with a cool head.
How to support those who have an opinion different from mine
First we put a mask on ourselves, then on others. This is a rule that always works, not only in airplanes. If we are not in a resource, then it is important to first come to our senses and only then help others.
Once you’ve realized that you’re ready to help, try to disconnect from the fact that these people think differently. Now it does not matter what and how they think, now it is important to listen to them without giving your own assessment of what they say. At the same time, you need to try to verbalize their emotions. For example: “I hear you, it seems to me that you are scared now, this is normal in this situation, I am nearby, I am here.”
Are there limits to “permissible empathy”?
To understand this, you need to honestly answer yourself the question: how much am I ready to endure and give to another? After the answer to this question is found, admit to yourself that at the moment this is all that you are capable of, and this is absolutely normal, each of us has our own limit.
You refuse to help another, not because you are bad or do not love this person, but because you also need strength.