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It is almost impossible to imagine our life without stress. And there is no need, says Doctor of Biological Sciences, physiologist, winner of the Enlightener Prize for the book Stop! Who is leading? Dmitry Zhukov. He told us how to learn how to manage stressful situations, extracting from them something useful – and even pleasant – for yourself.
Safe Stress
Is all stress dangerous? And is it always worth fighting? Modern scientists come to the conclusion that stress – as a non-specific reaction of the body to novelty – is in itself an adaptive mechanism, i.e. helps to adapt to new environmental conditions. Dmitry Zhukov goes even further, emphasizing that stress is not only an adaptive response, but is also accompanied by a mass of positive emotions. Actually, for them, Zhukov believes, we go to the cinema, the theater, read new books, ride the rides, in a word, we are looking for new sensations. Kelly McGonigal, a psychologist at Stanford University, agrees that stress also has positive mechanisms for our psyches. In her book The Other Side of Stress, she writes: “The understanding of stress as a useless relic of our animal instincts is long outdated. Modern science says that stress actually causes us to increase our “social intelligence” – in the end, this is what makes us human. The point here is that during stress, oxytocin is produced – a hormone that provokes a sense of kinship, closeness and trust in another person, it helps a person to seek help, seek social contacts and support. In other words, the mechanism of stress is already biologically based on the strategy of how to cope with it.
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When there is too much stress
But fears about stress are not so unfounded, sometimes it can really have a devastating effect on the body. In the language of biologists and ethologists, such dangerous stress is called “uncontrollable”. For it to occur, three conditions must be met: we cannot avoid the stimulus that causes stress, our body’s capabilities do not allow us to cope with it or adapt to it, and, most importantly, we cannot predict the appearance of this stimulus. The classic example is exams. Although we know in advance when the exam will be, and we know the program of questions, we can never know which particular ticket we will get and how the examiner will behave, whether we can impress him with our answer.
Uncontrolled stress, especially if it is repeated regularly, can lead to pathological changes in our health and behavior, which is commonly called “learned helplessness”. This state is a prototype of depression in animals; it is developed if the animal is placed in the conditions of an a priori unsolvable task, i.e. when the outcome of the situation does not depend on his actions. Scientists have found that if an animal cannot catch the connection between its own behavior and changes in the external environment (for example, regardless of whether the rat finds a way out of the maze, it can still be subjected to electric shock), it closes, refuses to eat, becomes passive – shows all the symptoms characteristic of a depressive state. A similar situation can be observed in a person who is daily humiliated by the boss, or in a restless student who is being tried to teach a lesson for his behavior with another deuce.
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Stress suppresses the will
The phenomenon of uncontrolled stress is gaining popularity among researchers and is becoming a subject for close study. This is understandable: in the conditions of our life it is difficult to find a person who has not encountered him at least once. But there is a very interesting side to this phenomenon. It turns out that not only do people constantly experience uncontrollable stress, but they themselves regularly expose others to it. In the hands of a person, at least minimally endowed with power, uncontrolled stress becomes a tool for manipulation. “We can observe this at all levels,” says Dmitry Zhukov, “by suppressing the will, we get a more manageable person. For example, teachers suppress the activity of students, which causes a state close to depression in children. Or you can see a lot of examples when such an uncontrolled state is produced by the state or even by the family. A striking example is the phenomenon of hypercontrol, when a parent seeks to do everything for the child: clothes, shoes, feeds him, chooses which courses to enroll in, and strictly controls the daily routine. Such behavior may be justified with young children, but completely unacceptable at an older age, because in this way the parents deprive the teenager of the opportunity to control the situation. From here, Zhukov believes, many inadequate forms of behavior in children and adolescents result. “The commission of hooliganism and crimes by teenagers occurs for one simple reason: by doing so, they are trying to subjectivize the control of the situation. The child, perhaps, would be happy to study well, attend circles, but he does not do this, because this will be the decision of the parents. The only way for him to show his own will is to do something that his parents clearly do not approve of.
Displaced Activity
What happens to us when we are faced with an unfamiliar stressful situation? At the behavioral level, we are forced to look for new strategies of action, since the usual ones do not cope with the conditions that have arisen. In ethology, this mechanism is called “displaced activity”. At first glance, it may seem completely stupid, since it involves the use of an activity that is inadequate to the need that has been infringed. For example, a person, having received tragic news, may start washing dishes or cleaning up – doing something awkward. In fact, this behavior on an unconscious level allows a person to cope with despair and feel in control of the situation. He cannot influence the tragic news, but he can do something simple and everyday.
Often the displaced activity appears as if by itself, automatically. But in fact, we are free to choose the form of biased behavior ourselves, if we put some effort into it. From this point of view, we have the opportunity to take a completely new look at stuttering, overeating, obsessions – a whole range of symptoms characteristic of stressful situations. And most importantly, finally cope with them, shifting your activity to another, more useful side.
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Do everything that is not forbidden
All experts agree that preventing uncontrolled stress is much easier than dealing with its consequences. For example, the main strategic method of protection against uncontrolled stress, according to Zhukov, is … education! It is not knowledge as such that matters. The main thing that higher education gives is the ability to learn. It is precisely this that is able to increase the adaptive capacity of a person to creatively adapt to stressful situations. Another way proposed by a biologist, at first glance, may seem very unexpected – to become a blood donor. The thing is that with a slight loss of blood in the body, endorphins are produced, hormones responsible for good mood, the action of which helps to cope with daily stress.
It is also very important in a situation of uncontrollable stress, when our capabilities are limited by objective circumstances, to find what we can still do. Dmitry Zhukov calls this method of counteracting uncontrollability – “doing everything that is not prohibited in this situation.” This method has its own history and confirmation by such eminent psychologists as Viktor Frankl and Bruno Bettelheim, who spent various periods of time in concentration camps during the Second World War. And although they adhere to different paradigms: Frankl – existential, Bettelheim – psychoanalytic, – both agree that people survived in those conditions who could find space for their will or, returning to the language of biologists, those who could find a way of acceptable ” displaced activity.
How can this knowledge be useful in our daily life?
•Firstly, when dealing with stress, it is important to be proactive. The best way to do this is to be attentive to your children. Forced into the school system, children experience enormous pressure, and the task of the family is to minimize it, but not exacerbate it. For this, for example, in order to maintain the will, it is very important to allow children to choose their hobbies and hobbies, even if they seem to you absolutely useless and stupid for their future. Remember that the most important thing is that this allows the child to cope with stress and feel like the author of his life today. Let the child not become a master of sports, but go to an embroidery circle, but he will learn the main thing – to make decisions, be responsible for them and manage his own freedom. And this, in turn, is an excellent immunity from stress.
•Secondly, you should be more attentive to your life. The main danger of uncontrolled stress is that it sneaks into our lives sometimes unnoticed, capturing more and more space every day, month, year. And we no longer notice how we get used to enduring the whims of our bosses, the tyranny of officials who make laws about our lives, we resign ourselves to many kilometers of traffic jams and lost time. The flip side is growing irritation, fatigue and apathy. To avoid them, it is important to unlearn how to endure. If you are infringed somewhere, this is a good reason to rebuff the offenders, and at the same time stress. In addition, in situations that we really have no control over, very simple recommendations can come in handy. For example, Dmitry Zhukov advises: “If you are riding the subway or standing in a traffic jam, compose poetry, solve mathematical problems, translate jokes into English – figure out what you can do, and then the painful situation of waiting will be much easier to endure.” Turn on your imagination, and you will definitely be able to figure out how to deal with uncontrollable stress in many other situations.