For some, a cat or a dog is the only and faithful friend, for someone it is another member of his large family, but for both of them his death is a real tragedy that you need to be able to cope with.
Alexandra her cat Venus was given 15 years ago by her classmate for her birthday. Then they just started dating, then they got married. They did not succeed with children, and they divided all their care, attention and love into three – Sasha, Igor and Venus were a real family.
Igor often went on business trips, then Alexandra and Venus were waiting for him at home. And both were so happy about his return – in general, they could not breathe on each other. It seemed that it would be like this forever – warmth, comfort, soft purr.
But one day Sasha stroked the cat’s belly and came across a ball rolling under her fingers. The veterinarian suggested it was cancerous.
Analyzes, X-ray. The vet was right. Venus returned home with a diagnosis of breast cancer – the fluffy baby was about to undergo surgery. The lump on the tummy grew quickly, but the cat behaved as usual: she ate, slept, played, purred her lullabies to Sasha before going to sleep.
After the operation, Venus departed for several days. She was so helpless that Sasha could not hold back tears, looking at her. But she so wanted to believe that all the worst was over.
But the miracle did not happen. Venus was dying out every day.
The doctor offered to relieve the cat of torment and euthanize.
Sasha asked to take her home for one more night. They were both awake. The girl was crying, and Venus, looking into her eyes, purred softly, as if saying goodbye.
In the morning she was gone. For a month now, Sasha has been mourning his beloved girl. The husband persuades her to get another kitten. But even the thought of it brings on another burst of tears.
– Losing a pet for a person can be as difficult an experience as losing a loved one, but not everyone copes with it the same way. Someone outwardly can be calm, seeks to immediately fill the empty space with someone else, and someone, like our heroine, on the contrary, cannot get a new pet, considering it a betrayal.
At first, you need to give yourself time to grieve, it is necessary for the psyche to be able to cope with this traumatic event. During this period, you need to try to be tolerant of your experiences, not try to invigorate yourself through force or allow others to do it. You should avoid people who, unable to bear your grief, try to distract you from the experience of loss (in fact, this devalues the loss and the meaning to you of the one you lost).
The second stage feelings of loss – anger that your pet has left you. Perhaps you will look for the guilty or blame yourself for his death, and here it is important to listen to the voice of reason, to realize that what happened is no one’s fault, this is life, it is not 100 percent subject to us, and we cannot control it. There are things over which we are powerless, and this is important to acknowledge.
The third stage – awareness of irreversibility. Nothing can be returned, corrected. You have to start living without the one you lost. Remove from your environment things that cause painful memories, concentrate only on kind and warm memories. At this stage, the support of loved ones is very important. Maybe it’s time to think about a new pet.
Give yourself time. It will be different for different people and there are no rigid frameworks or rules.
But if you have not been able to cope with your grief on your own for more than a year, you should definitely seek help from a specialist.