“Happiness is not in money” — no matter how much you repeat this phrase, the stress associated with money does not decrease. Financial expert Irina Zhigina and psychologist Alexander Potapenko talk about how to replace destructive experiences with constructive actions.
Even those who do not usually experience financial difficulties, from time to time the thought comes that things could go better. Moreover: with age, experiences in this regard become more and more. And at some point, the thought that “there is absolutely no money” begins to spoil life.
And the point is, as a rule, not that we have no roof over our heads or nothing to eat. Most of the time, we worry about minor issues like not having enough money for a vacation or a new phone. These experiences cause stress, lead to health problems, and prevent a sober assessment of the situation and taking reasonable steps.
This problem has two components:
- psychological — stress, from which we cannot get out, because we let the situation take its course;
- financial — unwillingness or inability to manage a household budget, lack of reasonable savings and the presence of a large number of loans.
Let’s deal with them separately.
Dissociation: stress management
There is nothing wrong with stress in itself: it is a natural adaptive response to changing environmental conditions. So it is not worth considering it as the curse of modern civilization: it is in our power to use the energy of stress to achieve our own goals. The technique of dissociation will help to do this.
It is especially effective if you are troubled by the memory of a mistake. The essence of the technique is to imagine how the current situation looks from the outside. For this:
1. Find a place where no one will disturb you for 10-15 minutes.
2. Sit down, take the most comfortable relaxed posture.
3. Revisit the traumatic memory. Imagine the situation as a picture. Try to make it as bright as possible.
4. Find in the space where the stressful situation took place, a point from where it is convenient for you to look at what is happening from the side. Mentally move to this point. From it you should see everything, including yourself, from the outside.
5. Transform the situation so that it is no longer traumatic for you. Remember this picture.
6. Recall the original traumatic situation and imagine a new, transformed picture next to it. Start moving your mind’s eye from one picture to another. Gradually increase the speed of moving your eyes between the two pictures and bring it to the maximum. Spend as much time on this work as you need.
7. Open your eyes for 3-5 seconds, then close your eyes, relax and stay in this state for 2-3 minutes.
Take a slow deep breath, open your eyes. Remember the initial traumatic situation and feel how your attitude and state towards it has changed.
Regular work on «difficult» experiences will help you learn to manage stress without the participation of consciousness and easily get rid of negative emotions. In the end, there will be only an experience free from emotions, which brings only benefits.
5 principles for achieving goals
Once you have learned how to cope with stress, you can move on to developing a skill that is at the junction of the financial and psychological components — the skill of setting goals correctly.
Talking about our global goals (financial, professional, family), we often indulge in daydreaming, hovering in the clouds. But only a clearly defined goal can be the first step towards turning a dream into reality. A well-formulated goal:
- helps to focus on achieving the desired;
- serves as a source of inspiration, moral and physical strength;
- allows you to determine what is primary and what is secondary;
- helps you make smart decisions on the way to realizing your dreams.
Five basic principles will help you move from thoughts and words to actions:
1. Life under control. A clear, concise and concise goal makes it possible to set the right direction of movement.
2. Finding the meaning of existence. The embodiment of clearly formulated ideas helps to make life interesting and diverse.
3. Gaining confidence. Goal setting gives you the opportunity to gain confidence in yourself and in your future. The most effective way to do this is to write plans (it is important to try to avoid the “not” particle as much as possible) and record their implementation.
4. Transformation of «impossible» into «possible». A clearly formulated goal allows you to outline the steps towards its implementation, which significantly increases the chances of its implementation.
5. Gaining faith in success. To achieve the intended goal, one must not only believe in the result, but also imagine that it has already been achieved.
Proper financial management
We spend the best years of our lives on work, but for some reason the money received by hard work does not always bring pleasure, or even “leaks through our fingers”. Here’s what you can do to avoid it.
1. Keep track of income and expenses
When you clearly know where the money goes, it gives you confidence in the future. You can keep a budget both in a notepad or an Excel spreadsheet, and in a special application.
2. Learn to procrastinate
A number of techniques allow you to make the process of creating a financial airbag a habit:
«10% of income.» When you receive any amount, set aside 10% of it. Can’t save 10% right away? Start with at least 5%. The main thing is to start.
Plus 10. Start saving: today 10 rubles, tomorrow — 10 rubles more, and so on. In a month you will save 4500 rubles, and in a year — 54 rubles.
«A cup of coffee». On average, a cup of coffee costs 100 rubles. Set aside this amount every day, as if you were spending it on a cup of coffee. In a month you can save 3000 rubles, in a year — 36 rubles.
3. Invest
Having created a minimum airbag in the amount of expenses for three months, you can start investing. The instruments can be different: bank deposit, bonds, stocks, mutual funds, OMS (impersonal metal account), IIS (individual investment account), real estate.
4. Learn to save
It’s not as hard to do as it seems:
- reconsider the cost of housing and communal services: buy energy-saving light bulbs, install meters, fully load the washing machine;
- get rid of bad habits and impulsive purchases — this will preserve your health and save significant amounts;
- do not get into debt and do not take loans unless absolutely necessary.
And the last. Assess your financial situation today: is it really so bad, or are many problems far-fetched? Remember and write down what you managed to achieve. List everything, even seemingly insignificant facts. Be grateful to yourself for everything you have achieved. Feel free to feel successful — it will give you enthusiasm and determination to take action, gain financial freedom and stop worrying about money.