Leaving a beloved child in the care of counselors is a serious stress for parents. Debunking my mother’s anxieties together with a psychologist, a specialist in processing fears Irina Maslova.
29 2017 June
This is especially scary the first time. This amount of “what if” in your life has probably never happened before. And after all, not a single positive “suddenly”! Imagination draws entirely fears, and the hand itself reaches for the phone. And God forbid the child does not pick up the phone right away. The heart attack is provided.
I remember my summer camp: the first kiss, night swimming, conflicts. If my mother found out about this, she would be upset. But it taught me to solve problems, live in a team, be independent. Here’s what you need to understand when letting go of the child. It’s okay to worry, it’s a natural parental instinct. But if the anxiety has become obsessive, you need to figure out what exactly you are afraid of.
Fear 1. He’s too young to leave
The main criterion that your son or daughter is ready is their own desire. The optimal age for the first trip is 8-9 years. Is the kid sociable, easily makes contact? Problems with socialization, most likely, will not arise. But for closed or domestic children, such an experience can become unpleasant. They should be taught to the big world gradually.
Fear 2. He will get bored of home
The smaller the children, the more difficult it is for them to be away from loved ones. If there is no experience of resting separately from their parents (for example, spending the summer with their grandmother), most likely, they will be going through hard separation. But there are advantages to changing the environment. This is an opportunity to make important discoveries in the world and in yourself, to gain experience that helps to develop. The kid asks to pick him up from the camp? Find out the reason. Perhaps he missed him, then visit him more often. But if the problem is more serious, it is better not to wait for the end of the shift.
Fear 3. He can’t do it without me
It is important that the child can take care of himself (wash, dress, make a bed, pack a backpack), and not be afraid to seek help. Don’t underestimate his ability. Freed from parental control, children reveal their potential, find new hobbies and true friends. I still keep in touch with two girls from the squadron, and more than 15 years have passed.
Fear 4. He will fall under the influence of evil
It is useless to forbid a teenager to communicate with someone. The only way out is to talk. Sincerely, as an equal, forgetting about the command tone. Talk about the possible consequences of unwanted actions and learn to trust each other.
Fear 5. He won’t get along with other children.
This can actually happen, and you will not have the opportunity to influence the situation. But solving the conflict is also a valuable experience of growing up: to understand the rules of life in society, to learn to defend an opinion, to defend what is dear, to become more confident. If the child does not have the opportunity to discuss the problem with someone from the family, he can try to imagine what mom or dad would advise him in such a situation.
Fear 6. What if an accident?
Nobody is safe from this, but you can prepare for different situations. Explain how to behave in case of injury, in case of fire, in water, in the forest. Speak calmly, don’t get terrified. It is important that, if necessary, the child does not panic, but remembers your instructions and does everything right. And, of course, when choosing a camp, make sure of its reliability and good qualifications of the personnel.