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How to stop the negative loop we can fall into during confinement
Psychology
It is important to accept that we live in a situation that arises for which we are not responsible.
Getting into the worst is very easy. Our minds take flight and, when we realize it, we have reached a catastrophic scenario: an assumed future that will probably never happen. An invented situation that is born, lives and will die in our head.
But, although “we are not responsible for a thought coming to mind, it is within our power to wallow in the thought or simply say ‘stop’.” This is how Daniel Velázquez, a psychologist in Terrassa and a member of Doctoralia, explains it. To cope with these days of quarantine, positivism – not optimism – is more important than ever since it is this that gives us the tools we need to avoid falling into the ‘negative loop’.
«Being an optimistic or pessimistic person is something that we confuse with positivism, but it is not like that. This focuses on the effort to see the good side of things, and we can all do it, “says the psychologist. In the event of a crisis like the one we are experiencing due to the Covid-19 virus, the most important thing is accept that we find ourselves in a “sudden situation” for which we are not responsible. “We may think that we are not prepared for something like this and, of course we are not! We are living in a situation for which we have not been able to prepare ourselves, and therefore we should not crush ourselves thinking about why”, he explains.
The importance of the little things
Likewise, the professional points out as another of the most important points to internalize these days the fact that, “without doing anything”, we already do a lot. “I wish other things in life were so simple: now just by staying at home I am saving my life and helping others, something that makes us feel good», he reports.
Taking care of ourselves, with little things, is also an incentive for these days: having a regular schedule, not spending all day in pajamas, getting ready if we are going to make a video call or exercise are acts that in the sum help us to feel better .
«It is also important to assess what we have: if you have a terrace you may have a dog; if you can’t have a flat with large windows … surely there is something good “, explains psychologist Daniel Velázquez, who adds that, of course, there are no easy situations. “There is, for example, the person who spends the quarantine alone and thinks about having company, and the person who spends it with his family in a small apartment and thinks about being alone,” he explains and continues: “We tend to compare ourselves, and it’s the worst thing we can do. The important thing is not to stop and think about whether there are people who are better than us, but to think about what we can get out of this ».
Live in the present
Following this dynamic, he urges us “not to think negatively for the future.” “Must focus on the here and now, thinking about future possibilities that are out of our reach, the only thing that does us is harm, “says the specialist. On the other hand, remember that we must “relativize the danger” we feel towards the virus. «We should not think all the time about uncertain possibilities: things can go wrong now, or 20 years from now. You live with everything that fills your mind and we have the power to make these positive thoughts.
Also, we must learn to manage our expectations: it can be just as damaging to put ourselves in the worst of it than to live “on the basis of dreams.” This is where acceptance comes into play, essential at this time. «We must focus on the now, learn from what we are living, but we should not have high expectations, it is a reality that we are living a complicated and slow situation, and the best we can do is accept it and be versatile to adapt to it, “he recommends.