how to stop feeling like an eternal schoolgirl
It seems that they received a certificate for a long time, and a diploma, and they brought their own children to the lineup – and at the sight of teachers, head teachers and familiar corridors, treacherous timidity again creeps chilly down the back …
Oh, this panic of the beginning of September … Well, how, you mentally sum up the results of “how I spent the summer”? School years are long gone, but we, like hostages, return every year … no, not to the scene of the “crime”, just to the school board. As if a strict teacher would ask us. Psychologists call this condition “September 1 syndrome.” And not only schoolchildren are subject to it. But also adults.
Why do we fall into a stupor when thinking about the beginning of the school year? How to stop feeling like fifth graders abandoned for the second year?
In many cultures, New Years falls in the fall. So it was in Russia until the reforms of Peter the Great. Therefore, autumn for us is subconsciously associated with summing up, zeroing the life cycle. In contrast to the winter bustle with tinsel and holidays, autumn is more about “deepening into oneself”. This is a cozy blanket, fragrant tea, the smell of a baked pumpkin, rain outside the window. When all the lessons and changes have long been behind us – both the school and the years of study at the university are behind us, at the beginning of September we often feel ourselves out of work. And if a schoolboy grows up in the family, then the anxiety only intensifies.
What to do?
Psychologists agree that all so-called “school” syndromes – in both children and adults – are the result of high expectations and low self-esteem. Therefore, you have to work with yourself and your attitude towards yourself.
How to improve a child’s self-esteem? Get behind him! Stop poking your nose at failure and control every step. And praise, praise and praise! So that he believes in himself.
And what, in fact, prevents us from doing the same in relation to ourselves? We will leave the successes and failures of our schoolchild on his conscience. We have unlearned ours. School life is no longer our life. We keep our distance. We do not convey our worries and fears.
Yes, we are all different. Therefore, you should not compare yourself with others, and even more so depend on the opinions of others. You shouldn’t think that everyone around us owes something, and get angry, not receiving certain behavior from loved ones. No expectations – no disappointments!
Alternatively, try to voice your complaints out loud to yourself. What specifically does not suit us? How can you fix this? Do you dislike the manner of the class lady to scold you for her son’s lateness? We can: a) stop being late; b) politely explain to the teacher that her mentoring tone is inappropriate for you.
Another option to “dissect” our autumn fears is drawing. The image can be planted in a cage, covered up or torn. It is necessary to bring emotions to the surface, not to keep them in yourself.
A change of hairstyle, manicure and professional make-up do not solve all problems, but they definitely lift your spirits. It’s time to remember yourself, your beloved. Pamper yourself with a relaxing massage. And then meet up with friends for a cup of hot chocolate. The beach season is over. You can afford desserts!
And only then, satisfied with ourselves, we go to the parents’ meeting!
4. Channeling energy in a peaceful direction
If autumn is the time for “beginnings” for you, go ahead! Make new acquaintances, sign up for courses and trainings. Investing in knowledge is the safest. Maybe new knowledge and acquaintances will raise your career to a new level. Or maybe you can prepare your son for the exams yourself.
If you can entrust your schoolchildren to grandmothers for a week, do not deny yourself a rest. The velvet season is the most pleasant time by the sea. If you are single, allow yourself an autumn romance. Perhaps over time it will grow into something more.
Dozens of recommendations have been written in modern psychology on how to define your boundaries. The main thing is to understand what boundaries mean to you? Do you sense other people’s personal boundaries? For example, not giving unsolicited advice is keeping the boundaries of the other. Even if the “other” is your offspring, the second hour will solve the problem. And it is your right to suppress a series of complaints about life from an after-school teacher when you pick up your child. Unless, of course, the teacher had to stay an extra hour because of you. Remind yourself often that you are an adult, an accomplished person. You have the right to make decisions and do as you see fit. And no one will scold you at the blackboard!