Contents
How to stop feeling guilty about everything
Culpability
The psychiatrist Marian Rojas Estapé reveals some actions that appease the feeling of guilt, one of the most toxic emotions
“Blame it on the most toxic emotions that exist.” This is how the doctor-psychiatrist Marian Rojas Estapé defines this feeling that breaks the mental tranquility in many moments of our lives. «It consists in thinking that one has not acted correctly at some point in his life or that has not met expectations that had been generated by disappointing other people or disappointing yourself. The impact can be just as strong when it comes to disappointing someone close to you or oneself, “says the psychologist. But what is the origin of this guilt? «It varies according to the circumstances: demanding a lot, having had a very rigorous education or being hypersensitive to what happens in your environment, among others. But it also has to do with the relationship one has with colleagues, with friends, with family … “, clarifies Marian Rojas, author of”How to make good things happen to you», The book that has helped more than Per people.
Despite being a destructive emotion, you must pay special attention to guilt. Why? Because it is linked to attitude. «Guilt is an inner voice and we must ensure that that voice helps us to surpass ourselves and not sink. You must be careful with that autoboicot of ‘you have done it wrong’, ‘you are not going to get it’ … It sinks you, does not allow you to move forward and makes you stay stuck in the past, in addition to leading or approaching very severe depressive states », Marian Rojas Estapé alert.
When guilt has a real basis
We do make mistakes! Sometimes we make mistakes and many times we tend to dramatize. This is how the author of «How to make good things happen to you»:« Most of the time it has more to do with the way we interpret it. Try that wrong past is an impulse to improve, to learn and overcome that fall. Focus more on your strengths than your weaknesses. Fix your attention on the mistake and use it as a springboard to grow, so as not to relapse into the same mistakes and to forgive yourself and forgive, “advises the psychiatrist.
How to appease the feeling of guilt
This toxic feeling doesn’t last long, and Marian Rojas Estapé has put together a list of actions to improve this mind-busting emotion. “Both inner and outer voices can be just as damaging to the mind and body. When we are wrong, we dramatize. Part of the depressed state is that all thought and brain image goes black, but you have to accept that sometimes we judge ourselves too harshly. One of the problems that is haunting us most in the XNUMXst century is the perfectionism. The obsession to be perfect, never make mistakes and have everything under control is leading us to a state of alert that leads us to illness “, says Rojas Estapé, and lists how to appease that feeling of guilt:
Notice and take note of the main faults that assail your mind throughout the day. Observe which are the events in your life that affect you the most. Accept that you may judge yourself too harshly on some issues.
Make one fault list, faults and faults that you have been able to commit throughout your life and that have marked in some way. Without overdoing it, don’t be overly harsh or overly forgiving, a middle ground.
Observe that event in your life that haunts you as if you were sitting on the train, watching that scene in your life pass before you. Realize that there is no way to influence her anymore. Guilt doesn’t help, it doesn’t make you grow. It’s just one toxic emotion that prevents you from moving forward and that you have to process and destroy.
Come back to your present with this risky question: What am I missing from my present by living hooked on guilt? You will be surprised, good things are happening in your environment, sure! You are not able to perceive.
Learn to love yourself. To be good in life, the most necessary thing is to know how to be good with yourself. People who settle in guilt fail to visualize their strengths and talents. They perceive that everything constantly falls on them due to their limitations or defects (their perception is distorted!).
Beware of victimhood. Guilt is a sliding ramp that ends many times in the victimhood, neurotic and toxic behavior that hinders your vision of life and your way of relating to others.
Look for things in yourself that you like. Surely there are skills that can be a drive to grow positive, Even if they dislike others! There is your greatest challenge: detach yourself from the opinion and judgment of others.
Set your values. Guilt causes the entire value system to falter. You don’t know what you believe or why you believe. What governs your life? Think about whether you are not being very hard on yourself due to something imposed from outside or due to demands that you have been carrying throughout your life.