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Am I better or worse? Have I achieved what others have achieved? Why do these questions deprive us of peace and how to learn to live without them?
He had an older brother: both taller and broader in the shoulders. So he knows exactly what he’s talking about when he claims that comparing yourself to others is painful and useless at best, and extremely harmful at worst. Joshua Becker is a social activist, Protestant pastor, writer, blogger, father of two, and minimalist. The latter is understood as a way of life, the motto of which could be: “Striving for the important and getting rid of everything that distracts from it.”
Joshua Becker quotes American President Theodore Roosevelt: “Comparison is the thief of joy” and offers 5 steps to get rid of this bad habit. But first, a little more about why it is so harmful.
Why it’s bad to compare yourself to others
We always compare unfairly: we compare the worst we know about ourselves with the best we think of others.
It is impossible to compare without exact measurements. But only fools believe that everything good in the world can be counted or measured.
Comparison takes time. Each of us has 86 seconds a day. And spending at least one of them comparing yourself with others is one second more than necessary.
Everyone is unique, so any comparison is unfair. Your gifts, talents, successes and achievements are fully consistent with what you came to this world for – and unique. Therefore, they cannot be compared with what others are doing.
By comparing, you will not gain anything, but you will lose a lot. For example: your pride, self-esteem, passion and passion.
Comparisons do not add value, meaning, or joy to life. Just take it all away
The comparison is endless. No new successes will help – there will always be something or someone else to compare yourself with.
The comparison is directed at the wrong person. You can only manage one life – your own. By comparing ourselves to others, we expend valuable energy and invest in others what we should invest in ourselves.
Comparison leads to resentment towards others and towards oneself. Comparisons get in the way. They don’t add value, meaning, or joy to life, they just take it away. If you are familiar with such experiences, all or some of them, you will probably want to know how to get along without them and where to start.
1. Celebrate your progress
Whether you are an engineer, a musician, a doctor, a mother or a student, you have your own view of things, personal experience and your own talents. You have the ability to love, to help others, to serve a common cause. You have everything to do good in your part of the world. Keep this opportunity in mind and remember past successes – they will give motivation for new achievements.
2. Strive for what matters
The greatest values in life are hidden from view: love, modesty, empathy, generosity, generosity. And there is no measure for these achievements. Go after these treasures first and ignore the definition of success imposed by society.
Sometimes competition is good, but life is not a competition. We were all thrown together at this very time on this very planet. And the sooner we stop competing with others in an attempt to “win,” the sooner we can start working together to understand our place in the world.
Comparing your life to the lives of others is stupid. But it is wise to be inspired by the example of others and learn from them.
The first and most important step to overcome the habit of making comparisons is to appreciate and enjoy the work of others. Gratitude also helps us notice the good that already belongs to us in this world.
3. Remind yourself that no one is perfect.
Paying attention to the bad is not nearly as useful as seeing the good. However, it is important to remind yourself that no one is perfect, no one has a life without sorrow and worries. Victory is impossible without overcoming obstacles. Everyone has their troubles, regardless of whether you are close enough to this person to know about them.
4. Change the environment
The next time you find yourself comparing yourself to others, get up and walk around. Change the environment to encourage thought change.
5. Find inspiring examples
Comparing your life to the lives of others is stupid. But it is wise to be inspired by the example of others and learn from them. Try to catch the difference. Take an interest in the lives of people you admire, read their biographies, draw inspiration from them. Pay attention to which attitudes lead to positive changes in life, and which ones affect it badly.
If you need to compare, compare yourself to yourself. We should try to become better than we are, not only for ourselves, but also for the sake of those around us. Try to keep yourself in good physical shape and good mood. Try to move forward every day. And learn to celebrate your accomplishments without comparing yourself to others.