Contents
Hello! Today we will talk about how to stop paying attention to the little things. After all, sometimes it happens that literally everything annoys and pisses you off, or how an unpleasant situation sits in your head, that you can’t get rid of thoughts about it.
And this interferes, distracts from work and the ability to listen to your desires, does not allow you to think rationally and feel solid ground under your feet. And the usual advice: «Pay no attention», «Forget it» and so on do not help.
Because in our body there is no such button that can be pressed, and it will relax, switch to another task. And by force of will, such a result cannot be achieved either. But there are ways to help regain peace and clarity of thought. So, are you ready?
Causes and methods, how to eliminate them
Fatigue
The most common cause of obsession with small things is fatigue. The body has simply exhausted the resources that used to help to be stable and keep the course forward. Why even a meaningless word can hurt, infuriate.
Imagine the wooden blocks from the Jenga game, from which you need to build a tower. And then one by one to get, trying to do it in such a way that it does not collapse. And if you deprive it of the main ones, which serve as the foundation, then the whole structure will stagger until it completely loses its stability and collapses.
The same is true of our stress resistance and health in general. Even the slightest difficulty can unsettle, when there is no strength, energy to cope with it. At this point, no matter how hard you try, you won’t get nervous.
What to do?
Recover and rest. Neither slogans, nor positive attitudes and attempts to distract will help. Therefore, despite deadlines and rush jobs, take the time to pause. Believe me, when you are full of energy, you will do much more than you do now without interruptions.
Get enough sleep, quality sleep is the key to good health, mood and ability to work. Adjust your regimen, eat healthy food, so as not just to satisfy your hunger and fill your stomach. But also to get substances, minerals and vitamins for the full operation of all systems.
Go in for sports. No matter how paradoxical it may sound, but physical activity, on the contrary, gives more energy and strengthens the body.
If you feel full of energy, you will be able to calmly react not only to various trifles, but also to more serious problems and conflicts. That is, you will not get hurt and “hang”, but on the contrary, adequately assess them and cope with them.
For more information on a healthy lifestyle, please click here.
Personal restrictions
There are no ideal people, each of us has certain weaknesses and limitations. And that’s okay. Life stories are different, but each of them leaves a mark on the character, perception of the surrounding reality. Yes, relationships are important.
For example, individuals who did not feel parental love on themselves in childhood, attention — in adulthood may be hurt by indifference. Or they will not be able to get enough of the feelings that a partner gives them. Why they react sharply to any little thing, which is regarded as a sign that love has passed.
Although, in fact, the other person is simply in a different state, the desires of which at the moment do not coincide with the needs of this person.
Suppose the wife was upset because of a quarrel with her friend, which is why in the evening, when she comes home, she is sad and is in her thoughts. The husband wants her to have fun, as before, to take care of him and so on. But, instead of clarifying how she feels, he “clings” to any of her words or actions, which proves the fact of the cooling of feelings for him.
What to do?
Work on yourself, constantly, continuously and not afraid to face the truth. Contact a psychotherapist who will be able to be there at such moments and prompt, but just be there at such difficult moments of meeting with yourself.
If you overcome your limitations, notice the points that cause pain and anxiety, realize why you have them, then there will be no problems with irritability and obsession.
You just let go of what worries, respectively, you can fill the vacated space with something else, pleasant and useful.
On this site there is a section «Self-development», try to read the articles that are indicated in it. Perhaps you will find exactly what you need and what will help you move forward.
Perfectionism
This is a style of behavior, character, when a person has too high demands, both for himself and for his activities. Even a slight discrepancy with the expected image can anger him, unbalance him.
Perfectionist motto: «Either perfect, or not at all.» And point. The problem arises when such excessive demands apply to the people around him. In this case, it is easier for him to do something himself than to trust others. And then the next moment follows — fatigue. It’s hard to do everything on your own.
The most common example is when the mother-in-law is constantly unhappy with her daughter-in-law. And she doesn’t cook borscht in the right way, and she takes care of her husband incorrectly, she doesn’t iron her shirts, she makes her work for wear and tear, plus she doesn’t bring up her children properly. And no matter how hard she tries, she won’t be able to please her. Like the mother-in-law herself, it should be easier, not so demanding and pretentious.
What to do
You have to learn to be wrong. Rather, calmly relate to your shortcomings and forgive the inability to do something, make the right decisions, and so on. Also add at least a few things to your busy schedule that bring pleasure.
The more often you experience it, the easier it will be to relate to reality and the people who are in it.
Learn to notice the efforts of loved ones to take care of you, it is their desire, and not how it turns out.
All in all, there are plenty of ways to get your perfectionism under control and start enjoying life.
Professional burnout
It usually happens in people in helping professions, which include medicine, education, psychology, and so on. It borders a little on fatigue, the previous paragraph, but it also has a lot of differences.
If you are burnt out at work, that is, you have lost interest in it, you experience great resistance in the mornings to get ready for it, then just a normal full sleep will not help you recover.
This is not physical fatigue, but emotional. And it can lead not only to leaving the profession, but also to depression, in severe cases, and to attempts to commit suicide.
Still, it is very difficult to realize one day that you have chosen the wrong field of activity, that you have spent so many years learning what you really don’t want to do. Or that it has reached a point beyond which it cannot move.
What to do?
It is important to take a break, take a vacation, get distracted. Try to recover by talking with loved ones who can listen without hurting their advice, but only share their experience of how they managed to cope in such cases.
Start defending your boundaries, do not allow yourself to be used endlessly, give only what you are able to give without harming yourself. Take up yoga and other breathing practices.
And be sure to check out the article, which tells in detail what professional burnout is, as well as how to get rid of it and start enjoying your profession and life in general.
Crisis
Crises help us to develop, but, unfortunately, sometimes lead to catastrophic consequences, causing a lot of anxiety and irritation. In fact, a crisis is when the old does not work, and the new has not yet been invented.
And a person «dangles» as if between the past and the future, not understanding how to be now. They come in different types, that is, age-related, in relationships, in work, and so on.
So, when a person seems to be «suspended» — he experiences simply tremendous stress. Then it is not surprising that he gets hung up on any trifle and “hangs” on it for a long time, living again and again unpleasant feelings. He has obsessive thoughts, which he seems to want to get rid of, but it doesn’t work out.
What to do?
Here you need to enlist the support of friends, relatives. And be sure to go to a specialist who will help create something new, which will again be based on.
It is difficult if a crisis has occurred in a relationship and a person lives with a partner, not having the resources to establish a common language, to clarify some situations.
Then constant tension and conflicts can literally deprive the meaning of life and the desire to achieve and receive something. And just to be close to the once beloved and loving person, who at the moment is very distant and has become a stranger.
In this case, I can recommend an article on how to build harmonious relationships, perhaps it will help you realize some of the nuances that will favorably affect the restoration of the family.
And if you are interested to learn about what crises exist, to get acquainted with the main methods of overcoming them, then click here.
Completion
And that’s all for today, dear readers! Subscribe to the site, here you will find a lot of articles on various topics. Share them with your friends, take tests together and write to us, what else would you like to know about. Your opinion is important to us, let’s create something beautiful and useful together!
Take care of yourself and be happy! Then there will be absolutely no place for irritation, especially the one that arises over trifles!
The material was prepared by a psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina