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Hello! Time flies very quickly, although there are times when everything is not as expected and planned, which makes every minute unbearably long. So, trying to quickly slip through some moments, and endure some, endure — we do not notice how our life goes.
And then it is important to stop, listen to your own desires and do exactly what your heart tells you to do. But no matter how simple it may seem, this is not an easy task. Especially when people around, society as a whole, are talking about what is worth doing and what is not. As if they know better what a person really wants.
It is for this reason that I touched on this topic today. Let’s figure out together how to start living the way you want to live, and not the way you need and right.
What to do?
Understand your responsibilities
Responsibility is not an easy thing. Someone runs away from it at any convenient opportunity, while someone, on the contrary, seeks to “pull” on themselves even in those moments when it does not belong to this topic at all.
Therefore, to figure out what is really your area of responsibility and what is not — make a list of your responsibilities. Then read it carefully. In terms of who appointed you each of them, which one was inherited, so to speak (that is, so did dad, which means I should), and which one appeared out of nowhere.
Also think about which ones upset you and cause tension, irritation, and so on. Perhaps you could switch things up with your partner in such a way that everyone really enjoys the process of working.
For example, recently a man and a woman not only share responsibilities, but also listen to their own needs and skills in order to delegate them correctly.
If the wife is able to earn more, then why shouldn’t she go to work if it suits both her and her husband? Moreover, if the spouse is more patient and enduring, which is why he copes better with raising a child and household chores.
Define your desires
Now work on awareness. You need to determine what you really want. Because you can’t get pleasure if you don’t fulfill your need. This is a complex process. After all, you can chew a piece of meat, but not experience saturation, satisfaction. Although, if you listen to yourself, it turns out that the body just needed a chocolate bar. And even a tiny piece of it can give happiness.
If you ignore yourself, do not notice and do not try to understand — then it really will not work out to live exactly the way you want.
It happens that a person has been in a relationship for years that, in fact, ended long ago. And suffers in them, does not see a future together with a partner. But stubbornly remains, endures, endures.
Why does it come out like this? Because someone follows the idea that you need to bear your cross, someone worries about the opinions of others. But most simply do nothing, because they don’t really understand what exactly and how they want.
Evolve
Try to change activities, test yourself in order to understand the possibilities and limitations. For example, if you don’t try to glue a model airplane, how will you know that you love to do this? Or vice versa, hate more than crochet.
Expand your horizons, try to learn something new every day, try to cope with everyday tasks in non-standard ways.
Then during the day you will live a lot of emotions, and not just sadness, for example, and confusion. After all, where else can you get inspiration and the desire to live to the fullest, if you stand in one place and are afraid to move?
And the circle of acquaintances will expand significantly, which will also color your everyday life with bright colors. And it will help you achieve your goals faster. There is even such a thing as networking. This is when people consciously create useful connections that you can rely on when solving any problems. Learn more about it and how to learn it by clicking here.
Deal with your fears
When a person is afraid, he has two ways — either to stop himself, or vice versa, to meet his feelings. Usually the one who takes risks gets the desired result. Even if it’s not exactly what you want. At least he is. If you slow down your impulses, then nothing will happen.
For example, dreaming of quitting his job, but having a huge fear of change, he will suffer in an unloved place for an unloved activity until he decides to look his phobia in the eye.
This, of course, does not apply to situations where security may be compromised. She should always be taken care of. But if you understand that your health is not in danger, then try to control yourself.
Start with a list of fears you have. Read each item carefully. Give in to rationalization, think over the worst possible outcomes of events if you take a risk on some actions. Then it may turn out that everything is not so bad, and it is quite easy to deal with the negative consequences.
In general, follow this link, here you will find ways that will help you recover from phobias.
Completion
And finally, I would like to draw your attention to the fact that you pay attention to finding your own destiny. Unless, of course, you don’t already know him. Usually a person cannot live as he wants, because he could not find the meaning of his existence.
After all, it is not clear in which direction to move in order to achieve the goal. But the one who knows why he came into this world lives happily, basically. Because he experiences saturation, satisfaction from what he does and what he devotes his free time to. It doesn’t go to waste. If only because it’s valuable.
So I recommend reading this article, in it you will find the most effective methods that will help you not only understand yourself, but also why you were born, how I can be useful, and so on.
So take care of yourself and enjoy every day that you live!
The material was prepared by a psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Zhuravina Alina