The ability to easily strike up a conversation is not given to everyone. But even if you are an introvert or just embarrassed at the beginning of communication, sometimes you just need to somehow support the conversation. These simple and really working ways will help you not to get confused in a similar situation.
Perhaps right now you have opened a chat for an online dating service and are thinking about what to ask an invisible interlocutor. Or you have to work nose-to-nose with a new colleague, and an awkward silence hangs in the room from time to time. Or maybe you have a first dinner with your partner’s parents, and you are terrified of what to talk about with strangers.
“If you care about your digestion, my good advice is not to talk about Bolshevism and medicine at dinner,” Professor Preobrazhensky advised Dr. Bormenthal in the story “Heart of a Dog”.
Communication experts also advise avoiding conversations about politics, money, sex, personal life, religion, and work. However, even after this, there are still many topics for an interesting conversation. Let’s take a look at a few proven ways to connect.
What can you talk about with cultural workers, and with employees of combines, and with young acquaintances, and with elderly relatives?
1. About native places
According to behavioral analyst Wendy Patrick, people may hide their address and phone number, but are more than willing to join in conversations about the city or town where they spent their childhood. A note of nostalgia gives the theme soulfulness.
Ask a couple of leading questions – and the interlocutor will quickly get carried away with a story about the features of his native land, about its nature, about local cuisine and architecture, and will remember something from his past. In his words, you can find “hooks” to continue the conversation – perhaps you have something in common. Maybe you are countrymen or grew up in a similar place, with a rhythm of life close to his native land.
2. About children and pets
If you know that the interlocutor has children, remember that this is most likely a great topic for questioning. The only exceptions are situations when a person has lost a child or is in a tense relationship with offspring. You will not have time to finish your question, as your new acquaintance will already reach into his pocket for a smartphone to show photos.
Children, as a rule, are the pride of any parent. People brag about their achievements almost more than their own, the success of children raises the self-esteem of moms and dads. By talking about them, you give a person the opportunity to open up with the best, in his opinion, side. And if you get tired of looking at his children, think about the progress that you have already made in communicating with your interlocutor. Well, or ask him about pets, if he has any. And get ready to look at the photos again.
3. About travel
Whether your interlocutor saw penguins in Antarctica or went to the sea with his family, or maybe went camping with tents in Altai or drove around half of Russia by car – each of these trips can become a topic for conversation. Again, the trip is not so personal as to confuse a person and violate his personal boundaries, but it causes enough emotional response for him to be carried away by stories about what he saw interesting in certain parts.
Effective communication guru Dale Carnegie wrote that people actually like to talk about themselves. And if you want to win the sympathy of the interlocutor, give him the opportunity to talk about his life within the framework of general and safe topics. In response, most likely, the person will show sincere attention to your person. And this is already a great start for a relationship that can develop into a friendship or partnership.