Exciting desires and fantasies often remain our greatest secret, a sweet secret that is so difficult – but at the same time so desirable! – share with a partner. How to take a step towards a new sexual experience?
Fantasies are a reflection of ourselves, but not always the way we used to think. So don’t worry too much about them. And if a partner asks you a sacramental question: “What are you thinking about?” Maybe you should open up. Try it and you will be surprised how much you will learn about a person whom everyone seems to know about.
Conclude a contract
Many couples find talking about fantasies very exciting. But it can also become intimidating or offensive, so you need to know how to keep the situation under control.
To start, promise each other that you won’t get angry, laugh, or wince in disdain if your partner says something that puts you in that state. Easier said than done, right? Move on to the next item.
Start Small
When you first discuss your fantasies, avoid open-ended questions such as “What are you thinking about?” Instead, ask specific questions: “Do you think about us? What are we doing?” In this way, you will avoid stories that your partner dreams of sleeping with the boss or having a threesome with your girlfriend, which would be too much for the first time.
When you have learned to talk calmly about fantasies that involve the two of you, you can expand the scope
You may want to include a third (or fourth, or fifth) person in your fantasies, although it’s best not to name names until you’re sure your partner won’t mind.
When we get in tune with our fantasies, we can stop paying attention to some unpleasant aspects of sex – not because sex is bad, but because even in the best of circumstances, strange sounds, strong smells, and messages from mom’s answering machine can invade our world. .
Such irritants can kill the mood, while fantasies serve as a bastion behind which all unpleasant thoughts remain.
Manage Expectations
Agree that your conversations do not mean at all that you will go tomorrow to bring your fantasies to life (unless both of you want it, of course). Discussion is a self-sufficient activity.