The traditional request to the consultant: “I set goals, prescribe specifics, visualize — but nothing happens! I try to do something, but everything is sluggish, unsystematic and quickly goes out. The goal is never achieved. Why?»
The traditional answer of the unfortunate psychologist / coach: “Probably, this is not your goal, but the goal imposed on you! If you find your goal, you will burn, strive — and you will definitely achieve it! Well, excuse and nonsense. Do you think that something, somewhere, exactly “your” goal is waiting for you, which will immediately magically turn you from a lethargic unorganized lazy person into an energetic hardworking girl and an organized person? And do not refer that such miracles happened to you. Perhaps, while you were younger, hormonal waves sometimes, for a while, were carried on the crest. But, firstly, with age this happens less and less, in addition, if you are a lazy and disorganized creature, then no hormonal wave will save you for a long time anyway. Make yourself a man. Go to Distance!
That over and over again I have to explain to all the romantics who believe in miracles and the film «The Secret» …
First: To get the result, you have to work anyway. No matter how you visualize your goal, no matter how you strengthen your faith in success and your inner intention, no matter how you rely on the Universe, which of course is on your side, you still have to work. Unless, of course, you want results. Complaining is also useless, complaints do not work, in any case, you still have to do something yourself.
Second: No matter how smart you plan, things will always go wrong, but in a completely different way. The result, ideal in all respects, is not immediately achieved by anyone. That doesn’t happen. But if you have a head, experience, hard work and money, sooner or later you will definitely get a decent result.
Third: Learn to set realistic goals. «I want to go to Paris, but my salary is low.» You won’t get in. At first, you need to earn more or, perhaps, pay for a trip to Paris not with money … In the meantime, think over a vacation in an accessible area.
Responsible format in goal setting
The more consciously and responsibly a person lives, the more often he uses a responsible format in setting his goals, where all the important details are carefully thought out. Namely, a realistic direction of movement has been chosen, why and why a person needs this, what are the dangers and what are the prospects. Further, the resulting picture is fixed in precise formulations: positive, concrete and responsible. If a person, having formulated a goal, is ready to take on a controller and indicate the price of the issue, he sets the goal as a responsible person. If he evades personal responsibility, glosses over the issue of the controller and the price of the issue — his words are worthless.
The main points of the responsible goal format:
- Problem analysis. What, in fact, does not suit us, what are the more interesting options, the realism of the goal set and how much does the game cost … See →
- Task: what exactly do we want to get as a result. Short, beautiful, clear. Positive, specific and responsible: we set the tasks for which we can be responsible. See →
- Resources: what we have that can help us. First of all, whether there is time, effort, money (more broadly — the material and technical base) and the necessary knowledge for a new project.
- Achievement criteria: how do I know what I have achieved (ORM: figures, facts, expert assessment). Achievement criteria mobilize and do not allow to quit the task ahead of time, using some kind of excuse.
- Plan: ways, steps and deadlines. See Developing a plan
- Controller and issue price. If a person, having formulated a goal, is ready to take on a controller and indicate the price of the issue, he sets the goal as a responsible person. If he evades personal responsibility, glosses over the issue of the controller and the price of the issue — his words are worthless. See →
- Write everything down. What is only in your head, what is not written down, is not the goal. Not a real, not serious, not working target. Until it’s written down, it’s a dream, it’s an intention, it’s talk, blah blah blah… Someday, maybe, the oral version will work, but if you really need something, write everything down. Written is already a document. It organizes and obliges, it reminds and pushes. Therefore, write down all your important goals and tasks.
- And in order not just to move clearly towards the goal, but to really burn, you need something additional, more related to your body. Namely, 1) be alert, healthy and well-rested; 2) have a face capable of expressing interest and enthusiasm, 3) have a similar voice. A voice that sounds so that you are charged from it yourself and charge everyone around you.
For example
How can all this happen in reality? What does this responsible goal-setting format look like in real life? See article Good girl Sasha
Process and result goals
Goals can be process and result. Process goal: do exercises every day, attend training 2 times a week. Result goal: to be vigorous, to lose weight by 2 kg. The resulting goal is more “tasty”. But! If the process is written inaccurately, there is always a danger of not achieving the result “due to other circumstances”. It is best to write down the goal in a double way: I want to be cheerful (result), for this I will douse myself and do exercises every morning (process), eat right, go to bed no later than 12.00, attend training 2 times a week.
SMART
SMART (SMART) is the principle that a well-set goal should be specific, measurable, achievable, result-oriented, limited in time. See →