How to Set and Learn to Defend Clear Work Boundaries

Ideally, indestructible and strong work boundaries mean that we “leave” all labor processes (and even thoughts about them) in the office, and they do not penetrate into our rest of life. And vice versa – that at work we do not think about the personal at all.

In reality, few people succeed. We simply do not have such a toggle switch in our heads that would transfer us from the “just a person” mode to the “employee” mode – and vice versa. Yes, this is not necessary. Our goal is to learn how to concentrate as much as possible on the labor process during the working day, and at the end of it, not to “drag” the work home. How can this be done?

1. Realize what you are worth

If we feel that what we are doing is never enough, we will try to somehow compensate for this – mostly by working overtime, trying to somehow feel useful. Alas, this is a direct path to burnout: the more we do, the further we are from the feeling of “well, now that’s enough.” In addition, others may get used to and use our dependability, and we will do something to the detriment of ourselves, our rest, health and mental well-being.

The truth, however, is that our contribution is unique – simply because no one else has such a combination of experience, knowledge, skills, ideas and attitude to work. This means that what we do is already enough (provided, of course, that we really give all our best during the working day).

It is important to understand and value our own time, experience, skills and contribution to the work of the company – this is the only way we will stop constantly chasing approval, learn how to communicate competently with colleagues and superiors and find motivation within ourselves. And, of course, to say “no” if there is already enough to do or if they try to abuse our willingness to help.

2. Learn to be clear and specific

Often, when asking others for a favor or denying them something, we choose to do so – unconsciously, of course – in an uncertain and apologetic tone. Behind this tone, it can be difficult for the interlocutor to consider our true motives. It is important to learn to talk about everything honestly and openly formulate your intentions and position. So the interlocutor does not have to guess what we meant and why.

It’s okay to push boundaries. And saying no is okay too. And change your mind, and share your doubts about the success of any business, and stand your ground to the end.

3. Discuss expectations

Any work begins with mutual expectations: the employer expects us to perform certain duties and do it at the proper level, we expect that we will receive the agreed salary and social package for this, and, ideally, help and support, at least for the first time . Most expectations are written in the employment contract, but this does not mean that its terms cannot be revised.

If you’ve grown professionally, it’s okay to negotiate new responsibilities. Or, if for some reason you can’t cope with current affairs, it’s okay to ask for help. The main thing is that expectations remain transparent, realistic and understandable to both parties. Alas, this is not always the case, and then it leads to unnecessary stress.

4. Define what is usually not officially discussed

Most of the work decisions we make involve trade-offs and come with consequences of one kind or another. If we are asked to devote more time to one project, the second project (whether working or not) may suffer from this – we cannot be in two places at the same time. It is important to clearly understand what exactly we are giving up when we say “yes” to something (and, by the way, to what exactly we are saying this “yes”).

It is useful to make a list in advance of all those situations that may require such decisions, write out all the pros and cons. For example, by working overtime, we spend less time with loved ones, but we can pay off the mortgage faster (unless, of course, overtime is compensated).

It is also helpful to write down a list of things and activities that we are not ready to give up under any circumstances – for example, skipping Sunday lunch with the family, or Friday dinner with friends, or working out. The list of things that are not officially spelled out in our agreements, contracts and job responsibilities may include ways of communication. For example, you are categorically not ready to communicate with colleagues on WhatsApp or social networks, because you want to continue to use them for personal purposes.

It’s helpful to make a list of things that are important to you to help you defend your personal boundaries.

Borders at a distance

Many complain that the transition to “remote work” has led to the fact that, firstly, they are now forced to work around the clock, and secondly, someone or something constantly distracts them (children, pets, household duties, messages in chats).

Working from home requires great discipline: you have to make your own daily routine, force yourself to go outside and get some fresh air, and not stay up late at the computer. This means that borders with this format are needed no less than when working in an office.

Beware of burnout

The World Health Organization (WHO) defines burnout as “a syndrome recognized as the result of chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.” This syndrome is characterized by three features: “a feeling of motivational or physical exhaustion; increasing mental distancing from professional duties or a feeling of negativity or cynicism towards professional duties; decrease in performance”*.

It is important to understand that you can burn out even at the most beloved and interesting job. Moreover: the more our occupation fascinates us, the easier it is for us to devote additional extra hours to it – after all, work brings pleasure! But, alas, our resources are not unlimited, they need to be replenished – resting and doing something other than work, something that brings us pleasure. And, of course, vigilantly defending their boundaries. Without them, we risk drowning in the quagmire of endless deadlines and losing the horizon – the ultimate goal; we run the risk of ceasing to understand what we are doing and why.

Even if it seems right now that turning off the computer and not checking work email in the evening will harm the workflow, in the long run it will pay off. Rest and breaks are essential stops along the way. Only they will allow us to move forward.

^* https://www.who.int/mental_health/evidence/burn-out/ru/