How to see your beauty

Do you dream of impressing a colleague? Are you hoping that a friend of your older brother will pay attention to you? In this case, it’s worth starting with ourselves, our experts are sure: if we don’t love ourselves, then we don’t care too much about appearance; and vice versa — it is easier to show oneself in the best light for someone who feels his value.

Contrary to the advice — not to say calls — of fashion and beauty industry professionals to follow current trends, we attract others not by deliberate brightness, but by naturalness. In a word, the algorithm is clear: find the beauty in yourself, appreciate it, and then learn how to present it. Three specialists: an image coach, a psychoanalyst and a yoga teacher will help you look at yourself in a new way, restore healthy narcissism and understand the hidden mechanisms of our charm.

«A living body is a moving body!»

Irina Boyarskaya, yoga therapist, specialist in Ayurveda, body-oriented psychotherapy

“Our body becomes attractive to another not through thoughtful postures and gestures. Attracts calmness, confidence, openness — the inner state that we broadcast through the body. A living body is first of all a moving body! The longer we remain flexible, the more confident, joyful, and therefore more interesting for ourselves and others.

Practices such as yoga, pilates, qigong, tai chi invite us to listen to the sensations. Postures for stretching the spine and opening the thoracic region, combined with deep breathing, form the posture, the «inner core» in the body — help to find peace and confidence. And exercise makes the body graceful, stronger and healthier.

But most importantly, bodily practices teach you to be attentive to yourself. They invite us to observe ourselves as we are. Classes will be beneficial if after them we feel uniform warmth throughout the body and lightness if we have received energy, and not lost it. And the better we feel in our body, the more we will attract the other person.”

«Show the world the best»

Kira Feklisova, image coach

“Exercise will help to reveal the best qualities and show them to the world. Take a sheet of paper, divide it into two parts: «inner world» — «external expression» — and start communicating with yourself.

1) What are my most unusual character traits? Is it expressed externally? What can be added?

2) What talents do I have? How can I show them through an external image?

3) Why do I love myself? How can I express it?

Write the first thing that comes to mind. And do not skimp on kind words and compliments. And then please yourself with experiments: try a new haircut, color, texture, look. Move step by step, asking questions: How do I feel? How do I find myself? Do I like myself?

In search of the best version of ourselves, we often focus on the heroines of books, films, famous personalities. In order to harmoniously integrate the details of the image you like into your life, ask — what exactly attracts you in this person, how does he live? Imagine this heroine instead of yourself at work, with friends, in typical situations.

Most likely, you will immediately feel discomfort and understand that it is enough to take only one or two elements from the image of the hero — buy brighter lipstick, get a new haircut and change shoes. Maybe it is these details that will fill you with strength.

If you find it difficult to accept yourself and you do not recognize yourself in any image in the mirror, use the help of another person whose eyes are not clouded by strong emotions. It can be an image specialist, a psychotherapist, a personal trainer.”

“To like yourself means to enjoy your actions”

Svetlana Fedorova, psychoanalyst

“There is beauty in each of us. But we, unfortunately, do not see ourselves as we are. We feel attractive when someone else is attracted to us (in the broadest sense), when we become visible, interesting to him. We focus on the reflections, evaluations and views of other people. And this image is inevitably distorted.

The point is not in the real appearance, but in our unconscious idea of ​​​​our appearance. It depends on bodily and mental experience. A child whose mother feels annoyed or disgusted becomes anxious and unconsciously offers her «improved» versions of himself in order to gain love.

If at the stage of separation (2-3 years) the mother did not allow the child to separate and create his own identity, then he will later look for support in the outside world — trying to imitate someone more successful, which also will not bring him closer to harmony with himself.

What can you do today to restore self-esteem if your experience is based on situations of rejection? Surround yourself with loving, interested looks from your past. Return to yourself the admiration that you received from those who believed in you, appreciated and loved — if not a mother, but a father or grandmother, or at least a classmate. Remember what beauty they saw in you, live these stories again.

Also create a quality relationship with yourself — taking care of the body, developing the mind, bringing joy to yourself. To like yourself means, first of all, to enjoy something. When are you liberated and happy? Whether you are dancing or singing, enjoying delicious food, listening to music or walking through an art gallery…

Turning to states when we feel good, we calm down, restore self-esteem. The attraction to life is contagious, it is it that fascinates others, causes a desire to share it.