Searches at the site of the crash of the Tu-154 aircraft in Sochi continue, but the identification of the victims has already been declared an extremely difficult task. It can become an additional test for the families of the victims. How does the fact that we cannot see the body of the deceased affect the experience of grief? Psychologist Cynthia Moreau explains.
Psychologies: How to approach the work of grief in the event of such a tragic death, which befell the passengers and crew of the Tu-154 Airbus?
Cynthia Moreau: In this case, there are many elements that set the process of mourning: the organization of a ritual hall at the crash site, a group of psychologists who accompany relatives and provide them with support, efforts to ensure that families are the first to know about the progress of the investigation. Relatives have already been prepared for the fact that the bodies may not be found, but it is fundamentally important that they be explained exactly how human remains will be searched for and retrieved at the crash site. This will be done with respect for the dignity (keyword) of the dead, in order to then transfer the remains to the relatives.
At the first stage, when access to the body is impossible, it is important that relatives can accept this impossibility, come to terms with it, and understand why they cannot see the body. It is also necessary that the family has evidence that it is their relative that he really died. The body serves as a psychological support, thanks to which the soul can do this work of parting, parting.
When there is no body, the family needs to be supported, giving specific answers to questions about what exactly happened, how it happened and why … In such a situation, the worst has already happened, their loved one has already died, and an unexpected and violent death. The family needs to be taken care of; they need information and adequate support to do the work of grief, to walk this path.
What role does the body of the deceased play in the work of grief?
CM.: Whatever the circumstances of death, the opportunity to gather around the body has a deep meaning. When we see the body, it allows us to realize the reality of death and remove any doubts about the identity of the deceased in order to start letting go … Today, we very rarely get the chance to see the bodies of the dead, unlike what was not so long ago when the body remained in relatives were always at home with him.
The ideas about death that feed our fantasies are drawn exclusively from television and from films, where we usually see violent scenes. The opportunity to say goodbye to the deceased and gather our thoughts near his body allows us to get rid of these fantastic and deadly figments of our imagination. Imagination based and untrue ideas are often much more shocking than reality.
How, then, to mourn the deceased, not seeing the body?
CM.: You can find elements that compensate for the lack of a body. If there is no body or there are only separate fragments, it is still possible, for example, to use a coffin, putting significant objects in it, a commemorative tablet, handwritten notes … Everything that is closely related to the personality of the deceased and allows you to give the ritual a symbolic meaning. The family can then come together and unite around the memories of who lived and who is no more. The coffin, even if it is empty, should not be devoid of meaning. Another important aspect is the unity of the local community and society as a whole, the mobilization of all those affected by this event; the feeling of this support is necessary for the families of the victims.
Cynthia Mauro – a crisis psychologist working with victims of disasters and terrorist attacks; vice-president of the French Thanatological Society, whose goal is the development of research on death.