How to help a child who often wakes up, is restless, complains of terrible dreams? Psychoanalyst Helen Brunschwig explains.
Hélène Brunschwig is a family therapist and author of Why Am I Afraid? (“Pourquoi j’ai peur?” Louis Audibert, 2003).
Psychologies: How common are sleep disorders in children?
Helen Brunschwig: This happens frequently, but not all such cases are equally serious. For example, it is perfectly normal for a nursing infant to wake up repeatedly during the night: he is hungry and demands to be fed. He needs it for his growth. After a few months, sleep patterns gradually become more stable.
Many children also have difficulty falling asleep. Here we are talking about something that is quite difficult to explain to young children. Falling asleep means leaving everything on its own, relaxing, moving away from mom and dad, from light, noise, from everything that life symbolizes. And go into darkness and silence. The picture is a little scary. Therefore, the ritual of going to bed, teddy bears, bedtime stories are so important …
By the end of early childhood, sleep is normalized. However, if even after the child is 2-3 years old, sleep disturbances continue, it is better to consult a specialist.
Pass the tests
- Can you go to bed on time?
How to respond to childhood nightmares?
E. B.: Children are more likely than adults to have nightmares. In the waking state, the infant constantly perceives new images, intense sensory sensations, experiences strong emotions – especially in relation to separation from the mother. When he falls asleep, his brain structures all this information and removes the excess that causes anxiety. In essence, a nightmare allows you to remove this anxiety. This does not mean that nightmares are not worth paying attention to. When a child has a nightmare, you can wake him up, calm him down, ask him to talk about it. If, however, nightmares are frequent, especially if the child has recurring nightmares, it would be wise to consult a therapist.
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What to do in case of night terrors?
E. B.: Most often they occur at the age of 3-4 years. The child suddenly starts screaming. He is frightened, his eyes are wide open, but he does not see or recognize his parents. It is often better not to wake him up in this case, just wait until he calms down and put him back in his crib. The next morning, as a rule, the child does not remember anything about it.
Night terrors correspond to the entry into the age of the Oedipal complex and end by the age of six. These numerous sleep problems often stem from the child’s relationship with the mother. Similarly, a child finds a way to express his anxiety, while others find solace in food. We should also be attentive to what he tells us.
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- 10 keys to our dreams
He pees in bed – is this serious?
E. B.: Enuresis in children is always an indicator that the child is suffering, and it is difficult for him to endure this symptom, because he experiences great shame. If enuresis was caused by a move, the birth of another child in the family, or the death of one of the family members, it is very likely that it will pass quickly if the parents calm the child, explain to him that he is not to blame for anything, and talk to him. If we are talking about a symptom that does not stop even after the age of six, it is time to consult a child psychologist after the pediatrician is convinced that there are no physiological problems (for example, with the kidneys). Enuresis is much more common in boys and is both a regression to infancy and a subconscious fear of sexuality. As in the case of sleep disorders, here it is necessary to consider the relationship of the child with the parents in order to solve this problem.