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How to respond to the manipulation of children. Basic personal training, leader N.I. Kozlov.
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Often people may try to manipulate you: they put pressure on you, they play on your feelings. Not all manipulations are bad, but in this case we are talking about an unpleasant interference in your life for you. How then to react?
Still: are you sure that this is manipulation? Sometimes it’s a game (and you’re just not in the mood), sometimes it’s open requirements, and then you need to figure out how justified they are. Reasonable people in these cases begin to talk. The negotiations begin!
Let’s assume that this is manipulation, and you notice it. If this is the first time, then it is better to react as if it were a normal erroneous behavior. Your basic rules are calmness, firmness and remember what you want. Well, the person is telling you something. And you smile and go about your business — do you have something to do?
If this is repeated and the person next to you is bothering you, then learn how to properly respond to conflict behavior.
You said No, the interlocutor is pressing …
If the interlocutor begins to put pressure on your refusal and play on your feelings, then the point is no longer in your ability and inability to say No, but in the fact that your interlocutor is manipulating you.
You can just tell him: «Don’t push me!» (option: “I feel like you’re pushing me!”), and if you can say it calmly and making eye contact, the situation will come under your control.
The child gets his way, presses you with crying
Children’s crying can be different: there is an honest cry (sincere, real), and sometimes it is manipulative, made by a child for … How to respond to the manipulation of crying? See →
If your child throws a tantrum for you, see →
«Well, we’re friends!»
If your friend or girlfriend plays on friendly feelings, consider whether you need such a friend. If you just need to react, then get ahead and present the requirement to “be a true friend” first. Let him fulfill this requirement and stop the pressure.
Elementary methods of household manipulation
Many elementary methods of household manipulation are described in the corresponding article, see →