How to respond to crying manipulation

Children’s crying can be different: there is an honest cry (sincere, real), and sometimes it is manipulative, made by a child for …

How to respond to crying manipulation?

Like normal misbehavior. Your ground rules are: calmness, firmness, format, and positive instructions.

• Calm. Resist the first wave of emotion and respond to your child only after you have collected yourself and calmed down. By the way, think again: is this an honest cry or manipulation?
• Hardness. If you succumb to a child, it only reinforces his habit of crying. If you are sure that the baby’s crying is manipulative, your yes and no answers should be final. If you said no, then so be it, you must stand firm and not change your mind.
• Format. Teach your kids to be normal. Do not guess what the children want from you with their crying. Let them learn: while they are crying, you do not understand them. You can understand what they want only when they clearly say what they want. See →
• positive instructions. Saying «stop crying» or «don’t cry» usually doesn’t work, positive instructions work better. Don’t say what not to do, say what to do. For example, a child can be quite accustomed to the phrase: “Do you want to cry, cry? OK then. Only in this room you don’t need to cry, you cry loudly, it bothers everyone. Let’s go, in the next room there is a special corner where you can cry. You stand there and cry. When you pay everything off, calm down, come to us. Let’s go to!» — Surprisingly, if the child has not been spoiled by bad upbringing, it really works.

Mom’s report: my daughter is 2 years old. He sits at his table and does something there. Everyone else is at the common table. All of a sudden, she starts screaming loudly. At first I can’t understand what she needs, she still speaks badly. Then I make out the words: “I want to paint.” I mean paint with a brush. I look at her carefully and say: «Come to me and calmly explain what you need.» He comes up already without a cry, but very quietly: “I want to mow.” I answer: «Take a glass and go get some water.» I went for water, the issue is resolved.

And if the hysteria

And if this is a hysteria, then you must have missed something. Nothing, we’ll fix it. See Tantrums for children — how to react

Video from Yana Shchastya: interview with professor of psychology N.I. Kozlov

Topics of conversation: What kind of woman do you need to be in order to successfully marry? How many times do men get married? Why are there so few normal men? Childfree. Parenting. What is love? A story that couldn’t be better. Paying for the opportunity to be close to a beautiful woman.