How to respond to comments and criticism

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​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​It all depends on who, why and how makes comments or criticizes. Criticism can be fair, unfair and cloudy: when it is not clear what is justified in criticism and what is not.

It is difficult to deal with vague criticism, when remarks are formulated vaguely, indistinctly and where the reasonable is confused with the stupid and offensive. In such cases, it is undesirable to engage in analysis and bickering, it is better to think about what happened on your own (yourself), or at least transfer the conversation to another time and other circumstances, where you can talk more reasonably and slowly.

Fair criticism can be painful, but it must be treated with attention and gratitude. It is difficult for us to see our shortcomings as brightly and convexly as people who communicate with us at work, at home, in a friendly informal setting see them. Fair criticism tells us where and what we are wrong, gives us the opportunity to correct the situation, to make things better.

Support fair criticism in your direction: respond to it positively. If the criticism is fair, it is better to agree with it immediately and in a categorical form. If you admit your mistakes quickly and decisively, this usually disarms the interlocutor.

Rare, but it may not happen. Some people find it important that the guilty person suffer and endure longer, and a quick confession of guilt will seem too easy for them. They calm down only when they witness the ongoing mental anguish. Explaining to them that they are wrong is not always realistic, and it is easier to show them what they are waiting for.

Culture is not peculiar to everyone, and from many people and more than once you will once hear both stupid and offensive remarks. If possible, it is better to skip such rubbish criticism without even discussing it. «The dogs bark, the caravan moves on.» Do your best, and don’t waste time arguing with those who criticize you for no reason, without understanding, or just settling scores.

The situation is much more difficult when unfair and offensive criticism is addressed to you from your boss or elders. How to react to it? — In any case, start by doing as you are told, all the more likely that this is not criticism that is not fair, and you do not understand everything about what is happening. The boss or senior often knows better. Another thing is the offensive form of remarks to you — yes, this is not the point. If the relationship with them is good, after all, you can ask for comments in a more acceptable form for you. It is often very helpful to state in plain text how you can be criticized so that you perceive it as normal. And if your relationship is problematic, then instead of being offended by an unpleasant form of criticism in your direction, think about the main thing: can the relationship be changed? Or — what else to do to change the situation as a whole?

And a very special situation when unfair criticism in an offensive form sounds from a loved one. It is clear that everyone has emotions, that this does not characterize your relationship as a whole, but it is still not worth encouraging. If the person next to you is still adequate, how to respond to offensive and unfair criticism in your direction?

Let’s analyze the situation: