Contents
- What is an abusive and toxic relationship?
- How do you know if you are in an abusive and toxic relationship?
- How to recognize if our spouse is abusive?
- Signs to recognize quickly that indicate a toxic relationship
- Why do we cling to a toxic relationship?
- What if we find ourselves in a toxic relationship?
- How to get out of an abusive relationship?
Do you feel like you are in a bad relationship? Whether it’s a toxic love, a bad relationship or an abusive person, alerts keep increasing on these pernicious ailments that risk destroying our lives and putting us in a condition of weakness.
Very often, many people, men and women, live in a toxic relationship without knowing it.
In order to help these people recognize if they are indeed stuck in a bad relationship, we will explain in this article everything you need to know about toxic relationships. We recommend that you read the article if you want to break free from your nefarious grip.
What is an abusive and toxic relationship?
We call all kinds of products or substances toxic that may harm the body. The word toxic also refers to people or relationships that cause psychologically harmful influence.
So just like rhubarb leaves which are very dangerous, so can a loving relationship. Quite astonishing, but it’s true.
To recognize a toxic relationship, therefore, we must observe and properly encircle the sensation that this poison relationship leaves us in order to detach ourselves from it more easily. (1)
How do you know if you are in an abusive and toxic relationship?
We are currently informed about narcissistic perverts as well as abusive people. As a result, we tend to see evil everywhere, in any case, so as not to be part of it.
When an argument arises in our relationship, we often wonder if our partner is not bad. Likewise, when our spouse does not answer the phone for several successive days.
However, it should be remembered that toxicity does not show itself only in underhanded attitudes and fatal arguments.
The real way to discern it is also to ask ourselves about how we feel: am I suffering from this relationship?
Indeed, a part of the perniciousness remains individual and is discovered according to our own feeling and according to the way in which love moves us. Is this a relationship that we have? (1)
How to recognize if our spouse is abusive?
Usually, a more or less toxic person does not act the same with everyone.
Our own feeling will know how to put us on the right track since a toxic woman or man has an entire tendency to devalue us and thus slow down our own design.
This type of person is also the type to complain profusely in order to get our attention and then disappear, abandoning us and making us feel guilty.
So we will feel uncomfortable when they are there and we stress ourselves out for no reason. Likewise, we feel foolish and cannot do or say what we want for fear of its possible derogatory and critical feelings.
We may often feel empty as our toxic mate sucks our energy away.
Contrary to what we may think, harmful people have no idea that they are harmful at all. In addition, they are not toxic to everyone.
Thus, we can distinguish degrees of harmfulness, more or less risky for the people who are targeted. Let us quote:
- The manipulators
- The egocentric
- Narcissistic perverts
Perniciousness manifests itself in handling, guilt, psychic and physical violence, criticism, jealousy, intolerance and control.
In other words, all the misfortunes of a healthy relationship since toxic people don’t want our good.
The victims of these poisons are usually people of weak mind who have low self-esteem.
These preys don’t know what they need. So, they don’t even realize that they deserve a more valid relationship. These victims are generally people with denials since their affections for the toxic person dominate. (2)
Signs to recognize quickly that indicate a toxic relationship
The clues that should alert to a toxic condition are inside us. Indeed, a relationship is first of all dangerous to the point of hurting us.
Thus, it is important to ask ourselves about our emotions, our behaviors and our feelings.
A relationship is therefore pernicious the moment we often feel belittled by our spouse, when we start to lose self-esteem, when as soon as we date the person, we are afraid of him however, we fail. avoid it and think about our conversations all the time.
Ditto when we blame ourselves for being unable to manage the relationship and we feel tense, angry, irritated. It is the same when we are lost in our own life and we no longer know where we are going.
For bodily signs, a toxic relationship makes us sick and tires us out in an unusual way. (1)
Why do we cling to a toxic relationship?
A relationship is dangerous when it begins to affect us physically and morally, but its harmfulness is also exposed in the embarrassment of fleeing.
Do you want to know why? Well, because the poison relationship works on guilt: the toxic individual sly manages to accuse his victim of all his pains, all his states, and he keeps devaluing her, so that his prey s’ imagine that she is lost without him.
Also, when the toxic person hurts his prey, he at the same time learns to do him good to the point of dispelling the victim’s doubts. As a result, by force we start an unhealthy relationship that puts us in the position of a very dependent victim, we continue to question ourselves by blaming ourselves for being the source of the problem and that our toxic companion is the solution to that.
However, he is the problem. This kind of situation is also expressed in other types of relationship such as a family relationship or a friendship. (1)
What if we find ourselves in a toxic relationship?
Several defense mechanisms need to be put in place for victims of toxic relationships. First, you have to be aware. In other words, you have to be aware that the person is in a harmful relationship.
A situation not often obvious for the prey. Then, you have to strengthen your self-esteem. So you have to learn to love yourself, with the help of a therapist if necessary. Indeed, harmful people often attack the weakest. The solution is therefore to have self-confidence in order to avoid them.
Then when we find ourselves in a toxic relationship, we must at all costs avoid isolating ourselves. Of course, the more we isolate ourselves, the more we lock ourselves into the relationship and this prevents us from acting.
Afterwards, we have to go towards something new. Truth be told, it is advisable for the victims of pernicious relationships to discover new things, new activities, new people, that is, new universes, to realize that we are not happy and also to make our toxic companion understand it.
Finally, you must be prepared to change your opinions and relationship expectations. Indeed, since we were little, we have been taught to fit into the mold, not to be ambiguous and to satisfy others.
At the same time, we have learned to hide our needs as well as to lose self-confidence. However, these are the essential elements in order to live happily and not to encounter poisonous people. We must therefore meditate more on our need and our preference. We must learn to express our desires without fear in front of our toxic companion. (2)
How to get out of an abusive relationship?
Getting out of a dangerous love affair does not happen without a recovery of consciousness. The main thing is to know first of all, ask yourself about your condition in order to realize how much the relationship makes us suffer.
Afterwards, it is essential to know how to turn the attention towards yourself by understanding that the objective is only to save your skin. Breaking up a harmful relationship can be difficult. However, it is not impossible.
Commonly, we hear about a sudden separation, that is, without much chatter and sudden in order to avoid any difficult dialogue that can rekindle the feeling of guilt. Obviously, you then have to be accompanied by a psychologist and be surrounded by healthy people.
These people around us will help us sustain our unstable self-esteem and thus encourage us to continue in the right direction, for brighter days. (1)
In short, a toxic relationship will never do you any good, but it will destroy you. Your partner is harmful when he devalues you, when he puts you in a situation of stress, anguish, emptiness and guilt. As soon as you see that you are in this kind of relationship, start by boosting your self-esteem, then surround yourself with healthy people and discover new worlds. Finally, express your need to your toxic companion without being afraid.