They look exactly like us, behave exactly like everyone else, and most often do not stand out from the crowd. The difference in consciousness – sociopaths have absolutely no sense of guilt. At times they seem to enjoy making others suffer. How to protect yourself? According to clinical psychologist Jonis Webb.
How many sociopaths do you know? Most likely, you will answer that you have only seen them on TV. And most likely you will be wrong.
“The image of a sociopath created by television is more like a caricature of psychopaths. Tony Soprano, Hannibal Lecter, Dexter Morgan. According to the movies, they all love to break the law and kill people, says clinical psychologist Jonis Webb. “But there is actually another type of sociopath, and it is much more frightening. It could be your aunt, father, or the chairman of the parent committee at the school.”
They look exactly like us, behave exactly like everyone else, and most often do not stand out from the crowd. But the difference is in consciousness. Sociopaths have absolutely no sense of guilt, as well as conscience, and basic human emotions such as love, warmth, true intimacy and responsibility. But they know perfectly well what it should look like, and they know how to portray it: they are wonderful actors.
At times he seems to really enjoy manipulating or insulting others.
Such a thought can be scary, because it is not clear how to recognize a sociopath. Moreover, even specialists in the field of psychology can hardly calculate it. It is often attributed to narcissism or borderline disorders. Indeed, these three main personality types have common features, but still they differ markedly from each other. And the main difference between narcissists and “border guards” from sociopaths is that the first two have a sense of guilt.
So how do you know if you’re dealing with a sociopath? Jonis Webb highlights a few key features that you can look out for.
Six Signs of a Sociopath
1. He’s being rude and/or abusive, but he expects you to ignore it and act like nothing happened.
2. Manipulates others, either directly or indirectly.
3. Always treats you differently, at different times or on different days, for no particular reason.
4. Can easily lie if necessary to save himself from trouble.
5. Always blames someone else. A sociopath will never admit his own guilt for mistakes or crimes.
6. At times he seems to really enjoy manipulating or insulting others.
It doesn’t matter if there is someone in your acquaintance who fits this description or not, you would hardly want to be treated in this way. There are a few tips on how to be safe when dealing with someone you suspect is a sociopath.
Four steps of protection
1. Always be on the lookout. Know what you can and can’t expect from a sociopath.
2. Avoid turning to such a person for emotional support or advice. Your vulnerability will only give him a reason to hurt you.
Your parent’s inability to love is entirely due to their internal limitations and has nothing to do with you.
3. Imagine the boundary between yourself and the sociopath, keep that picture in mind. Imagine a wall that protects you. Everything a sociopath says that might offend you just bounces off that imaginary wall.
4. You don’t have to make excuses for a sociopath. Instead, make him take responsibility for his own actions. The more firmly you insist on this, the less the sociopath will try to manipulate you.
If a sociopath has children…
The biggest harm a sociopath can do to his own children is in the process of raising them, making them feel unloved. And this is most often inevitable, because their dad or mom is simply not capable of parental love. But the child does not know this, so he grows up with the confidence that he is not worthy of love. And this is one of the most painful and traumatic experiences in life.
The problems of such children are further complicated by the fact that no one wants to believe that their mom or dad is a sociopath. This gives the sociopathic parent even more power. Even as adults, a son or daughter chooses to believe that their parent acted in the best of intentions and still loves them.
While this distortion of the truth is more comfortable and less painful, it can actually be harmful. In general, the less we understand what our parents really are, the more power they have over us, and then we have to pay a high price for this.
If you are the son or daughter of a sociopath, always remind yourself that your parent’s inability to love is entirely due to their internal limitations and has nothing to do with you.