Raising boys is not a woman’s business. So it was believed in ancient Sparta, and in old Russia too. Then the sons were separated from the mother, transferring them to the care of male educators. Now the opposite is true: education is increasingly becoming a purely female occupation. In the kindergarten, there are only educators (you will not find mustachioed nannies), at school the likelihood of meeting a man is like facing a dinosaur. And in the family, mothers often push dads away from the upbringing process. It turns out that boys are often deprived of male influence.
Every woman dreams of her son becoming a real man. But men are not born. More precisely, they are born, but it’s not just a matter of gender, of course. A man needs to be raised.
The boy alone will not grow up. Parental care, which manifests itself in the satisfaction of physiological needs, will not make him a worthy man. As the boy grows up, you need to instill in him certain habits and skills, lay the necessary knowledge. First of all, the father must do this.
There is a standard male set of qualities that must be brought up in a baby from childhood. Dad can explain, show by example, teach to be independent, responsible and decisive, and then the son will grow up as a confident man, able to prove himself from the best side.
Unlike mom, who can compromise with the child, dad needs to be firm and persistent, without going beyond the limits of what is permissible. So the son will learn to achieve the goal.
A man should be independent. Teach the boy to dress independently, make the bed, hang clothes in place.
A real man is not afraid to make decisions. By the age of three, he can choose to go to kindergarten in a shirt or T-shirt, and by six, he can decide to go in for swimming or gymnastics. It is important to teach the child to understand that he is responsible for his decisions. For example, if he chose the wrestling section, then it should be explained that he will attend it until the end of the year.
A real man should be active. Sport is the basis of a healthy lifestyle. Take a walk in the park, roller-skate, go to theaters, museums, circus, let the child get used to being in motion all the time, then he will grow up energetic.
It is important to develop a sense of responsibility in your son. For example, he can tend to houseplants or a pet. The older the boy becomes, the more responsibilities he can be entrusted with.
Teach your son that girls should never be offended, they need to give in, take care of them. Let the son help his mother to the best of his childish strength. Don’t say you can do it yourself, give your child a reason to be proud of themselves.
As sad as it may sound, parents from generation to generation make the same mistakes in raising their little men.
Mistake number 1. Excessive severity in education. Many believe that boys need harshness, they need to be asked more than girls. But remember: he is still a child and no less than a girl needs love, affection and attention.
Mistake number 2. You can often see the following picture: adults shame the boy for crying. “Like a girl!” But understand: boys also have such moments in life when they want to cry, release all their emotions out. Instead of criticizing your child for this, it is better to hug and try to figure out what is the reason for the tears that have arisen.
Mistake number 3. Hyper-care. Most often it comes from mom, grandmother. As adults, we seem to forget what we were in childhood and how we ourselves wanted to run in puddles, lie in the snow, climb the fence, and in general, feel free and independent. And here – don’t go there, then don’t do, don’t run, don’t jump, sit here with your mother and make Easter cakes! It is clear that if you treat a child this way, then a real man will not work out of him. Most likely, he will grow up as a weak-willed person without personal opinion.
Mistake number 4. Boys only play with toy soldiers and toy cars! And if he really wants to play with a stroller and a doll among girls? Parents guard their little man’s growing up and hand him a pistol. But there is nothing wrong when a boy plays with a doll (in moderation, of course). So, from an early age, he subconsciously forms a model of family behavior.
Mistake number 5. Mom can and can do everything. In the modern world, a woman has put too much on her shoulders. And she can hammer in a nail, and change the wheel, and earn money. Mom should still leave it all to Dad. A family model is formed in the baby’s mind from birth. If mom can do everything, then in the future he will expect the same from his companion. In the future, he will imitate his parents. Therefore, it is best if your son follows the example of his dad, who is strong and skillful.
Mistake number 6. Mom is trying to replace both parents. But from the age of 6, the boy begins to realize that he is a future man, therefore, in everything he is ready to imitate his father or another male person who is close to him. Therefore, the son must have a person with whom he will contact at the male level: cars, sports, girls, in the end. That is, dad, coach, teacher, relative.
Mistake number 7. Mom sees the child as the center of the universe. Every woman wants to marry a real man, and she is ready to make an egoist out of her son. Often, mothers are inclined, because of their boundless love or long-awaitedness, to do whatever he wants. “All children are like children, and mine is a genius.” Such love can lead to the fact that when the son grows up, he will no longer need you, and he will not be interested in your problems and sores. A smart mother must sometimes become helpless by allowing her son to show concern and courage.
The upbringing of a boy is completely dependent on his parents, they must try to create all favorable conditions and raise a real man who will be a worthy example for their children.
Love your child, do not be afraid to tell him about it. It is important for boys to be aware of their important role in the family.