Human development scientists at Harvard University have compiled a list of simple guidelines.
Every parent wants his child to be caring, understanding, polite, with moral principles. The proverbial glass of water again. But for some reason, children themselves do not grow up like that. They need help from adults. Harvard University has compiled a list of seven simple tips to help you raise a really cool guy or girl.
1. Communicate with children
This does not mean lisping or, on the contrary, shouts in the style of “Don’t touch!” or “Get out of there!”, but a joint pastime. That is, when your attention is completely devoted to the child and conversations with him. After all, only by your own example can you teach a child to be sincerely interested in someone’s life. Encourage his efforts, praise his achievements. Question the children to maintain meaningful conversation. If you build a relationship with your child in a positive, respectful and benevolent manner, he will then be able to build the same one himself.
2. Be a role model
Words are words, but children adopt behavior, not proclaimed principles. If you urge children to be honest, patient, caring, and at the same time lie, get angry and selfishly eat the best piece of cake, you are unlikely to succeed. Because – we repeat – deeds, not words, have educational power. If you have made a mistake somewhere, violated your own principles, explain to your child what you made a mistake and how you will correct everything. In addition, in this way you will make it clear to the child that you can always come to a person you trust for advice, help, or just for a sincere conversation.
3. Teach you to think about the consequences
The main quality of a good person is not to create inconveniences and problems out of the blue for other people. Are you annoyed by the thoughtless behavior of fellow travelers who stretch their legs into the aisle? Or passers-by who suddenly slow down at the narrowest part of the sidewalk and start digging into the phone? And they just didn’t think that they could cause inconvenience to someone. The child must understand that he must be caring not only in relation to family members and close people, but to everyone in general. At school, on the playground – to everyone, without exception. Explain this to him, then he will learn to think about the consequences of his actions.
4. Give an opportunity to care
Helping with household chores is a great way to show you care. Kids are happy to crawl into all sorts of household chores, but adults usually remove them: they get dirty, and everything will have to be redone. But not worth it. The child will get used to the fact that the household routine does not concern him, and will take the mother’s work in the kitchen for granted. And there it is not far from a more global disrespect for other people’s work. Trust your children, let them help. Teach them to say thank you for food, clean clothes. And thank them themselves for, albeit small, but help.
5. Teach compassion
Perhaps one of the most difficult points. You can try this technique: if the child faced a problem, solved it and admitted that it was not easy, tell him what difficulties other people face. Start with loved ones — they find it easier to empathize than hypothetical “starving children of Africa”. The main thing in a story is that it evokes an emotional response. Then the child will learn to both sympathize and understand that everyday difficulties are not the end of the world.
6. I did it myself – help another
Helping around the house is one thing. And taking care of the world around us is different. Try to play on the interests of the child: for example, if he loves animals, invite him to go on an excursion at an animal shelter, explain how you can help them. A great occasion for a conversation about ethical norms in society, by the way. After all, taking a pet, promising to love and take care of it, and then throwing it away is an unworthy act. Seeing a real example, the child will understand this faster.
7. Anger management
The ability to resolve contradictions is an important thing. After all, not everyone succeeds in extinguishing conflicts or solving them peacefully. First, teach your child to understand their feelings and deal with negativity: anger, anger, aggression. All these techniques that help to pull yourself together – inhale – exhale, count mentally to ten – they really work. We just don’t remember them. And if you start working with these tools from childhood, it will become a habit. And there will be fewer conflicts in your child’s life.