How to put a child to sleep? Proven way from an expert

“You can’t lay down without a“ dance with tambourines ”

“When my daughter couldn’t sleep, what we didn’t do! And they walked around the apartment with her in their arms, almost squatting, and swayed on the fitball. They taught her to do it on her own head … Now she is already a year old, and you can’t put her down without a “dance with tambourines,” complains Olga, 35 years old.

“My son is three years old, he sleeps in his crib, but putting him to bed in the evening is a whole story,” says 38-year-old Oleg. – As soon as we take you to sleep, tears begin. Persuaded, lay down, read – again the scandal: “Read more”, and so on ad infinitum. If we agreed here, then, it is worth leaving the room, running around is immediately heard. Either a pot, then drink, then read again, then he is looking for a toy … Parents do not have an evening.

When a baby does not fall asleep, we are ready to do anything to help him calm down. But by solving today’s problem, we can make it harder for ourselves and the child to go to sleep in the future.

How to make children obediently lie down and fall asleep peacefully? Says psychologist and mother of many children Larisa Surkova.

Tips for parents

While the child is still very young, we have the opportunity to approach going to bed thoughtfully and even strategically. The most important thing is not to accustom him to something that you later want to wean from – so that in a month, and in six months, and in three years we have a minimum of problems with this issue.

• There are two tactics that parents can choose for themselves from the very beginning. The first is tactile contact. The baby eats and falls asleep in his arms or next to you, when his mother’s or father’s hand lies on top of him. This creates a sense of presence and fulfills the child’s basic need for security. The second tactic is that the child eats and falls asleep in his mother’s arms, but then they put him in the cradle. So he gets used to sleeping in a separate bed.
• “Let’s scream” is a method that was popular with our parents, but today is recognized as traumatic. Child psychologists and neuropsychologists oppose such methods – as a rule, delayed psychological problems at the age of 3-6 years become their consequence. Going to bed, especially at a very early age, should not cause stress in the child.
• The most rational and proven way is a sequence of actions, rituals. Every day, the baby should get used to the fact that bathing is followed by feeding, and feeding is followed by sleep.

TTTS rule

For some reason, many parents believe that rituals should work while falling asleep. But in fact, they should be taken care of in advance. What to do just before the child should fall asleep? I offer my author’s technique: the TTTS rule.

1. Silence. If the child is still very small, then an hour before laying down, he needs to provide “golden silence”. Quiet games, baths, massages are ideal activities for this hour.

If your son or daughter is already watching cartoons and looking at pictures in books, the selection of content should be extremely thoughtful. There are the most unexpected examples – for example, some children cannot fall asleep after stories about Barmaley.

2. Warmth. The microclimate in the family has a great influence on the condition of children. Therefore, the key to their peace of mind is a warm and trusting relationship. And, of course, the emotional state of the one who puts the child to sleep is very important.

3. Darkness. From the moment of birth, it is important to distinguish between day and night. During daytime sleep, there is no need to arrange complete silence and darkness. But at night, blinds or curtains should be closed to protect from the first rays of the sun. So the child’s sleep will not be disturbed, and parents will be able to sleep a little longer.

4. Dryness. Make sure that everything is in order with him in this respect, provide the baby with comfort.

In my experience, if you take into account all these nuances, bedding will cease to be a nightly “torture” for the whole family, and the child’s sleep will become of high quality and long.