Contents
How to prevent clutter from taking a toll on your relationship
Couple
It is important to establish order routines to avoid small domestic disagreements that can be easily avoided
Those who proclaim that “love can overcome all things” may not know that, although this idealized concept of love can overcome great barriers, sometimes it is also broken by the smallest trifles. And it is that, as exaggerated as it may seem, a raised toilet seat, a pile of clothes on a desk chair or a tube of toothpaste ‘smashed’ in half can become that drop that ends up filling a glass.
A relationship as a couple is already difficult in itself, and when we join the couple living together, we also add new difficulty. Many times a nonsense can trigger an argument, and that nonsense usually has to do with
housework. “Couple arguments increase when the house is messy”, says Amaia Elias, interior designer and Marie Kondo’s official consultant. The expert in order argues that cleanliness and order are fundamental in a house, “since an orderly home transmits peace and tranquility; at the same time that a disorderly one transmits stress and bad humor to us ». For this reason, he says that if disorder surrounds us, it is easy for this to affect a couple, without the need for any of the parties to be especially maniacal.
Little acts that make a difference
The key, as we spoke at the beginning, usually lies in the small details, as these end up being the trigger for bigger problems. «Small acts like making the bed every morning or leave the kitchen clean every night they make a difference ”, explains the professional. Therefore, he urges to pay attention to these details, which do not require much effort and can save us from unnecessary conflicts with the partner. For this, he leaves two great tips: think carefully about how to distribute the house according to the needs of the family and always have a specific place for each object in the house. “Ultimately, something as simple as not putting the coffee machine away after using it is the kind of thing that creates the most friction,” he says.
It may be the case of a couple in which one of the members is very orderly and the other is more chaotic. Amaia Elias comments that in order to achieve a balance between the two, the most important thing is respect. As a method of getting to the middle ground, he recommends doing the following: “Each member has to clean, which will be a moment of self-knowledge. This consists of throwing away all the belongings that we do not need and do not make us happy. The professional explains that cleaning must be individual and mutual respect must prevail, “since if you decide not to throw an object, it will be for some reason.”
Like the cutlery drawer
The next step to that individual cleaning is think together where to keep common things. “The important thing is that each thing has a site and that that site is chosen logically,” explains the expert in order. He comments that it is important to facilitate each action, because this way the most disorderly part will have less difficulty in maintaining that order. «Have you ever wondered why the cutlery drawer is always tidy? The answer is easy, it is designed with logic and no one thinks of leaving a fork in the pocket of the knives. We have to achieve the same with all the objects in the house, “he argues.
The most important factor in maintaining order in a house is the establishment of routines, since it is the way to turn order into ‘a lifestyle’. “The day-to-day routines will prevent you from having to spend a Sunday cleaning cupboards or pantries since everything will be in its place,” says Amaia Elias.
You just need a good routine
These routines don’t have to be big acts. The expert assures in order that it is not necessary more to dedicate 10 minutes in the morning, and 10 at night. «These 10 minutes even affect our mood. If we leave the countertop clean every night or the sofa blanket and the controls collected, the next day we will get up more calmly, since order transmits peace “, he says and gives as an example of” good morning practices “adopting the routine to make the bed and leave our pajamas folded under the pillow.
Finally, he emphasizes the importance of carrying out this action of “self-knowledge” in order to adapt order routines to a partner. «The biggest shock occurs when we remove all our belongings; makes you change the chip. That is why it is so important to do it in one step and to avoid having to be ordering everything every week “, he explains and concludes:”The best trick is self-knowledge. Knowing your habits and your belongings, you will be able to acquire a place for each thing and make the maintenance of order an easy thing ».