Contents
Prepare for separation together
Tell him a few days before what will happen to him
A good relationship is always based on communication. Do not hesitate to announce your intention to him frankly, because he is concerned by this change of rhythm of life. Tell him that you are going to resume your work and that you are going to entrust him to nice people who will take good care of him. Make it clear that you or his dad will accompany him in the morning and pick him up in the evening. The child can separate without problem if he knows that he will be reunited with his parents, talk to him about the pleasure of reunion. Play with him at “Caché, cuckoo, it’s me!” to help him understand that things and people continue to exist even when he cannot see them. But be careful: explaining your future to him is perfect, but it should not become a daily leitmotif that weighs down the days that remain to be spent together. Talk about it a little, but not too much!
Allow at least two weeks of adaptation
The ideal separation is done gradually and your schedule must include a support program during which your child will discover little by little and in your presence, his new environment, noises, smells, colors, light and of course new people. with whom he will now share a lot of time. You will both be reassured.
Trust him
Babies have a much greater ability than you might imagine to adapt to what life offers. Even if he is a little unsettled at the beginning, your child will quickly play, take up the new rhythm of the community, enjoy the activities, get used to his nanny. Even if you are often told that taking a blanket with him will help him cope better with the separation – this is true for many children – some do very well. No need to want to force him to choose a blanket from among his soft toys. It does not depend on the parents: he takes one, or not!
Don’t project your anxiety
You are sad, maybe even anxious about having to separate from your little one. Express your grief to your partner, your friends, your mother, as often as you need comfort. Corn don’t project your own emotions onto your child, do not imagine that he is in the same state of sadness as you. In general, the transition is going quite well for him. The only recommendation is to avoid the period of ‘8th month anxiety’, which can actually occur at 6 months and even at 10. If your child is scared and cries when he finds himself in foreign arms, this is not the case. t is of course not the best time to hand it over to others. Better to wait a bit.
Trust the people who will take care of him
The feelings of your baby will depend on yours, if you consider the “handover” with serenity, him too.. If you consider it lucky because he will be able to make friends, meet new people, improve his skills, he will think so too and adapt. Confidence is basic, but if you are anxious, using a webcam to keep an eye on the nanny (and your baby) may be considered – temporarily only – as this tool prevents actual separation. A child builds his self-confidence beyond the gaze and the permanent presence of his parents.
Do not feel guilty
Separations are inherent in the life of every human being, even if we love each other, we cannot be together all the time. When we sleep, for example, we are in our bubble, at a distance from others. Even if you are in perfect harmony with your baby, it is essential to get out of the merger so that it grows well. The necessities of life, economic contingencies, personal choices mean that working parents are separated from their children during the day. It is not an abandonment or a parental desire to move away from their little one, so no need to feel guilty.